My wife and I celebrated our 40th Anniversary this week and everyone was asking what is the secret to such a long and happy marriage. I,of course, replied with the usual suggestions: love, mutual respect, and tolerance for each other's idiosyncrasies.   What I really wanted to say though was TER and the wonderful providers who have helped me through the last 15 years.
   My wife is a smart and good looking lady who has been a good partner and a loving mother. We had good times as she reached her sexual peak in her 20's. During our 30's we were less active and more involved with children and our individual careers. At 50 she lost all interest in sex and retired unilaterally from the bedroom.
   At That point, through the magic go the internet, I discovered TER. We had been outsourcing many things in life already..
Don't want to clean house?- hire a cleaning service. Don't feel like cooking?- call for take out. Don't want to fuck?- call someone who does.. We now get along better than ever. It seems that there is much less reason to fight with someone on whom you are not dependent for sex.  Of course there is a financial cost for this but it is far less than the cost of divorce and we are now both happy to pursue our own interests as long as I hobby discreetly.
   In this late stage of my life I have discovered a joyful sexuality beyond anything I knew when I was younger.  I am sincerely grateful to all the ladies who make themselves available to share this pleasure.  You have saved my marriage.

Is your wife aware that you are outsourcing for sex?

I agree 100%.
A marriage is more then sex, is the standard message..... You can be friends and live with each other (or not live with each other all the time, in some cases) and be married.  
Sex is only one part of a person's life and some are driven to sex more then others. wink-wink.
For the most part, if there is a financial, social and family benefit to being married then why mess it up over sex and sporadic intimacy?

Another key to a long happy marriage is discretion!

At some point you realize you're an adult, and don't need to blab about everything.  Besides, at the heart of good manners is kindness.

I think the best relationships are when each person allows the other his or her "own space".  Especially when the two of you have been together for a long time (I would say 40 years qualifies).

I said that on a recent GD thread and got blasted for it, since it couldn't possibly be true.  

My wife and I celebrated 53 anniversaries until the "death do us part" ended a marriage filled with loving and adventurous sex, mutual respect, honesty, friendship and freedom to pursue different  interests as well as shared interests. This is something few people getting married now will experience. My wife and I had college friends who were married about the same time. There were 4 pairs who are still together or were parted by death of one or both. The longest is 60 years together.
 I am now enjoying sex and friendship with several luscious ladies and without hurting or cheating anyone. Had I been born 30 years later, I doubt that I would have had the same marriage experience. Times change and so do social mores.

Three questions only:

... to enjoy a long, happy life together with 53 years of loving and adventurous sex etc. If every marriage were like that, I think providers would see a huge downturn in business.  

It's a marriage, she should be aware of what you are doing. Thats only fair.  

Awareness can be present on many levels and some things are better left unsaid.                                                      Discretion and kindness are most important.

I agree that we were lucky as were several of our friends but I didn't mean to come across as "so judgmental." Perhaps you didn't read my last few words "Had I been born 30 years later, I doubt that I would have had the same marriage experience. Times change and so do social mores."

... hurting and cheating someone.  

providers probably don't really "save" marriages,  they just make them more manageable.   Or, in some cases, tolerable.   I would hate to think that a long marriage would end unless "a provider comes to the rescue".    

goes great with your username!
i wish some of the younger crowd would read this and learn from you.

of every single thing that you do?
where do you draw the line?
is it ok to purchase a $15 item without asking/letting her know? how about a $150? how about a $1500? whats the limit?  
is it ok to look at other girls and daydream? what about a hug? a kiss?

Yes what a great post - perfect!! And the ladies never broke my balls
about the bathroom needing to be painted LOL

And why do you think that this "saving" action was all about sex... or about sex at all?

I guess that sums up my own situation.  My wife and I have been married for 44 years, love and share almost everything together and still have very hot sex regularly.  But for me, after decades of sexual exclusivity, monogamy felt more like celibacy since I was not getting the variety in my sex life that I craved.  When I discovered TER and the hobby, my life changed drastically for the better.  I kept my wife informed from the outset, and now we get to talk about my dates together which turns us both on.  She has even tried a few TER dates herself.  Having this level of trust, understanding and acceptance from her must constitute unconditional love if anything does.

First of all, I used the word "probably".   Very few things are known for sure.  And the OP's topic was about sex, not about all of the other wonderful feelings and comforts that providers give us.

Smiley I always knew you were a great guy.  Your post just confirmed it, yet again.  
Madison

It would be great if we could all just be honest, but the price is too high for most men. Monogamy is a lie. You don't have to explain to a penguin he is monogamous. He just is. A lot of women shut down after menopause. Why would I want my husband to never feel those wonderful feelings again? Lovely post. Lovely sentiment and it makes me feel good about what I do.
Kisses,
Lily