To all my over 60 married colleagues, have any of you been caught by your spouse?  I'm reasonably new to this hobby, only 4 dates under my belt and 3 have been while on travel.  I figured that I was less likely to commit some blunder and get caught.  But I've found a great local provider and have set up a second date.  I'm curious, if any of you will admit to being caught how did that happen and was's best practice to avoid that?  I have a separate e-mail account just for my hobbying but use my regular cell phone.  But there's very little calling or texting going on, I only indulge once every few months.

Thanks for any advice from my fellow silverbacks.

watch the paper trail.. I left a creidt card receipt for dinner in my pocket and the wife questioned two filet mignon dinners... I blamed the restaurant for double billing, but it was dicey... watch your gas receipts and make sure you fill the tank at places logical for where you are supposed to be..

I also have a throw away free e-mail but use my regular cell... clear the cell after every date..

just don't get Cocky!!

It was way before I joined TER, and so I wasn't carefull.

The first time the stupid hotel sent the bill to my home.  So don't give hotels your home address, use your work one.

The second time I was hobbying in my home town, and she saw my car parked right out in front of the hotel.  Don't park your car in an obvious spot, and better yet, hobby outside of your home town.

There are many ways to get caught, so read up on the various boards about how to stay safe.

In order to stay almost invisible in your civie world I suggest a hobby phone. You can choose to buy a new cell phone and purchase minutes or see where you can get a used phone where you can geta new number and buy a reload card. Many who I know use virgin mobile .

Anything connected to your real world can be cross referenced, seen online who calls you , who you call
should you s.o. raise some curiosity. With your email and any online adult related browsing  always clear your history. There was a time where one of my local regs left his email opened while in his living room
watching tv with his wife, he placed his laptop down , she picked it up to check something else , found his yahoo mail still opened and saw his emails back and forth. He is now retired from the hobby.


Angela

Thanks so much, Angela.  Great advive, I'll be sure to follow.

The hobby phone is an obvious one that has been mentioned.  A separate email account is also a necessity, but if you're using if from your regular computers, you're taking the same risk of it being discovered.

Credit card payments are another obvious trap.  It doesn't matter who pays the bills or gets to the mail box first, you can't have ANY connection to the hobby on your CC.  And I'd give the same advice even if you're using a separate card or only use online statements- credit cards are evidence than can be used against you.

You basically can't be too careful, as I've found out the hard way.  I got careless with a very nice provider I'd seen twice before and emailed her from my regular email, which happened to use my real name.  She was a very smart, computer savvy girl, but one time she sent out a broadcast email to all her clients and forgot to list us as blind copies.  The minute she hit "send" she publicly outed all her client's emails, including some that went to businesses and an attorney that also used his name in his email address.

That would be bad enough, but some anti-prostitution website somehow got their hands on the list and posted it on their website for the world to see- then they sent us all the link!  They called us all sorts of names and lectured on the risks of STDs etc.  The provider not only put herself out of business with that one mistake, but also outed a couple hundred clients, and that won't ever go away.

But the one-in-a-billion chance that ended my marriage was another wake-up call for me regarding the hobby.  I was spotted with a woman in my car in a town I'd never been to before, 60 miles from my house!  At the time, I thought I made a good recovery when confronted, but I was wrong and we ended up getting divorced.

I'll give you another funny story that happened to a (stupid) friend of mine who took a provider to his house while his wife was away.  They were having sex in the living room when they heard this huge crash.  He got up to find a car had crashed into the tree in front of his house and was surrounded by all the police cars that had given chase.  A few minutes later, the ambulance arrived, and a little while after that, the news helicopter!  As all the neighbors came out into the street, he had no choice but to have the provider go out the backyard and jump over the fence so she could escape through the neighbor's yard. He eventually got his car out of the driveway and went around the block to pick her up.

It must have been hysterical to watch, but it proves the point that  you just can't be too careful because anything can and will happen- especially when your pants are down.  LOL.

-- Modified on 2/24/2012 12:40:49 PM

You can clear your cell anytime babe. It does not matter. Your phone record comes in the
mail sometimes with the bill, sometimes quarterly. Lose it I am telling you for your own peace of mind.

Let me tell you one other story.

A guy flew to Chicago to meet me . He returned again 2 weeks later and called me.
Meanwhile, his wife took a job with the same company he had his cell account with .
She got into his records, called me up , pretending to be a provider asking for a reference.
But she couldn't fool me because she had no TER ID or website.

But she confronted him, and he is no longer a TER member.

This is all good advice, especially in todays world. Back 20 years or so, the technology was not there to be safe and I paid the price. Divorce was expensive. It is amazing what attorneys can turn up..

Get that throw away phone - just for hobby purposes. Get and use an emailaccount that can NOt be easily directed back to you. Consider joining a verification service. such as date check or P411. Many providers use TER as a verification site. Not as secure.

as many of the ladies say....BE SAFE. That axiom also goes for us guys too.

A spouse has a bionic nose.....and a bionic sense of human vibes.  Play close to home and it isn't if you will get caught or questioned but when.  At that point the term "spouse" becomes "ex" and the cost of  extraneous pleasure just went up....

A few.years ago I only played while traveling on business. Used my own cell back then.

Everything was great til one Saturday afternoon the phone rang and it was a provider I'd seen in Dayton, OH several months earlier! WTF She asked if I was in town (Dayton) cause she wanted to see me. What? Don't look at my reviews it's not in there, way before I found TER, but anyhow, I really had to do some scrambling to get out of that one. Stopped Hobby for a couple of years.

Now to present time, Hobby phone, Hobby email, Trust Cash for TER VIP,changed passwords, delete internet history Every time I log off computer. So Far So good.

Chiguy

to talk my way out of it but I am now using secure stealth mode.

The big disadvantage of going on dinner dates is someone you (or the SO knows) may see you with Ms. Hottie.  Tough to explain.

to be a single silverback!!!

The closest I ever got was with a lady I met in the hobby But We never had a session. I hired her to work a my company on a temp basis. The shit hit the fan when the SO discovered our "friendship" We still never did it!

You need to give yourself a periodic safety check on you hobby trail.  you can never be too paranoid.
I have been told the key tip off is the new things you learn from the ladies. Fortunately I never have sex with my wife so no tell tails here! Be extra careful of scents!