I find the points you make interesting, and your final words are somewhat telling:
"This business is about sex for money. Forget that at your peril."
My somewhat rhetorical question is whether someone would you have to take the same tone about, say, a doctor: "This business is about medicine for money. Forget that at your peril!" And I think that part of the answer lies in the fact that the oldest profession is like no other occupation in its blend of the rituals of intimacy, business and illusion.
Don't you think it's rather illuminating that if someone saw a hard-pressed nurse at her job or a harrassed teacher being harangued by her pupils, there wouldn't be this same urge to take her out of there and save her from herself, whatever her facial expression? Why then the necessity because her body - sorry, her time - is for sale?
Aphra
-- Modified on 8/6/2005 4:39:24 AM
Regarding the post below on the "sad" provider who got to John Galt:
Wholly apart from the issue of the provider's identity, this post does a huge disservice to the thousands of professional providers who are in this business because they've chosen to be in it, are happy in it, and have other options that they've passed up because they prefer being a provider. Why should a provider be any different from any other professional -- a shrink, a social worker, a lawyer, a doctor -- all are professionals who give advice or try to make us feel better in some way. The notion of feeling sad for my $300/hour provider is about as sensible as feeling sad for my $300/hour lawyer.
The post is also a disservice to the millions of single mothers who raise children, hold conventional jobs and get by in circumstances far less secure or affluent than someone who makes hundreds of dollars per hour. John Galt, in your home state of Minnesota, there are thousands of refugee Hmong and Somali single mothers who do not speak English or understand American culture. They have children; they work at night cleaning offices because it's the only work they can get; and they go to school during the day to try to learn the language. Since your heart is overflowing with sentimentality and sympathy for single mothers, why don't you go down to Frogtown and spend some time with them? Maybe it'll give you some perspective on who deserves to be "taken care of" and where you might direct that next disposable $300.
This business is about sex for money. Forget that at your peril.
-- Modified on 8/5/2005 9:56:37 PM
Trust me sweetums, you want a NEW barf bag. The old one is full to overflowing.....
John Galt felt compassion for a sad provider.
That has nothing to do with the thousands of happy providers, or the millions of single mothers who you claim are being done a disservice. What a bunch of crap.
Who the hell are you - the "don't let it get to you" police?
Compassion my arse. Yeah, sure. What this nasty fucker did was engage in a clumsy attempt to exercise his power over this women by 'outing' her as an object of pity and therefore derision.
Who knows what his motives were? My guess is that he really did fall for her, and she didn't reciprocate. This would have pissed him off hugely. I mean, this is a dirt poor single mum living in a shabby apartment, how DARE she not recognise his superiority and accept his attentions.
So, he tried to get her back by posting his opinions and a link to her on this board. Fortunately most of us didn't get sucked in.
Wise up you fool, there is simply no other reason why he needed to post the link.
Emma's right on. I hadnt realized until I re-read the thread that Galt or whatever his username or alias is had actually posted the provider's info before removing it based on others' objection. OMG, that's character assasination. There's no way a hobbyist should be allowed to go on the national or any regional board and make PERSONAL comments about a particular provider that could adversely affect her business. And that's exactly what Galt did when he posted the so-called "sad" provider's link (it would have been just as bad if he's named her in his post). Staff, is there some kind of rule or guideline against this? There certainly OUGHT to be.
Unintentional or not - disclosing this - the way and manner of it - was laundering someone elses "stuff" in a highly public way. Anything of a personal nature that a provider shares with me - stays there! unless of course it is her desire to be the object of pity, ridicule or harassment of other kinds... I also was impressed by other posters who point out that the unique situation here, is found in other professions.... Me for example, here I am, in this superhero gig, raising two kiddos, and in case you have not checked recently, being a super hero just does not pay as well as it used to!
But Miss Bond, your call on this one, was on target - and some may say harsh, so folks, BEFORE you post, consider what it is that you are saying about someone.... cause otherwise the dynamic duo - Bond, Miss Emma Bond and the caped one, will swoop in to make a comment or two! In this instance it could harm her business - and it certainly did nothing for her self-esteem.
There was no intent to harm anyone. I thought any publicity was good publicity, and may help her out. I noticed that all providers on this board place their link. I have apologized for my actions and taken steps to correct them. If there is something else you would like me to do, please let me know what it is.
My post was really in response to the young lady who said she was so hot that men fell for her, wanted to leave their families, and move across the country to be with her. She wanted to know if she was too GFE. I was trying to say that what got to me was someone's humanity, not their technique.
I find it interesting that the men got what I was trying to say while the providers were very upset about it. I don't know what that says.
No, I didn't fall for her, I just felt sympathetic. There have been numerous posts on here from guys who have taken providers in, bought them things, helped them start businesses, etc. I don't intend to go there.
I will now place myself on exile from this board for a period of 30 days. If the staff of TER chooses to ban me, so be it. I know my intentions were good, but the execution was flawed.
Feel free to flame away. I'm sure I deserve it for some sins in my past.
Here's a link from some research I did on TC providers. No one came to her defense. Is this character assasination? I'd rather be a sad provider who tries hard than what this person was called.
-- Modified on 8/6/2005 5:18:27 AM
I find the points you make interesting, and your final words are somewhat telling:
"This business is about sex for money. Forget that at your peril."
My somewhat rhetorical question is whether someone would you have to take the same tone about, say, a doctor: "This business is about medicine for money. Forget that at your peril!" And I think that part of the answer lies in the fact that the oldest profession is like no other occupation in its blend of the rituals of intimacy, business and illusion.
Don't you think it's rather illuminating that if someone saw a hard-pressed nurse at her job or a harrassed teacher being harangued by her pupils, there wouldn't be this same urge to take her out of there and save her from herself, whatever her facial expression? Why then the necessity because her body - sorry, her time - is for sale?
Aphra
-- Modified on 8/6/2005 4:39:24 AM
I've received numerous pm's from guys who want her identity so they can help. What should I do? Give them her name or ignore the message?
You make the call.
Ignore the PMs. I can see it now, you give out her contact info and she gets all these calls "I hear youre in trouble, that you need help" "Come on I have $100 I can give but I cant do a full session". She is going to be like WTF??? And some guys wil try to take advantage of her "situation", the "situation" that may not exist. Just leave her alone, keep her reputation intact, and ignore the PMs. Im sure she knows how to get business without getting sympathy.
Some I am sure are genuine - but most I suspect are somewhat more predatory. I have to admit - most of the time, while I respect Emma, I do not see her point. This time - she was on target! This board missed her when she was gone- I hope she sticks around to keep us on our toes...
Again, Bond, Miss Emma Bond, Great work. Could we get her to work for the board - to post an alternate perspective on the comments and posts!?
It was posted on the national board and got many giggles, but no criticism. I bet it hurt her business more than being called sad.
There have been numerous posts critical of providers on this board. Why did this one ring a bell? Why were the responses from hobbyists and providers so different?
Things that make you go hmmmm.
The differences between the "ex-wife experience" posts and your post.
The "Ex-wife" post:
Didn't conatian a link, and whereas did mention her name, did so by directly quoting reviews. The inclusion of her name in the quoted reviews was similar in quality to, on a local board, linking to the reviews of a woman that is a ripoff or gives consistently bad sessions.
The responses joked about it because of the characterisation of "The Ex-Wife Experience" which is pretty much guaranteed to get jokes in response.
There were no specualtions as to why the woman refered to in that original post performed as she did, for either sympathy or scorn.
The original post was not actually about the woman referenced as much as it was about the question posed as to why clients keep seeing ladies with reviews like, and her reviews simply were the impetus for the querry and illustrative of the issue the querry was about.
Your post:
Originally contained a link to her site.
Was about that specific provider not a question or a querry about a general issue, with her being an example, but specifically about her and her alone.
Comments about someone seems abjectly sad and realising "providers" are human beings....not nearly as inclined to get jokes as the phrase "Ex-wife Experience"...
Your post was highly specualtive, and drew conclusions about things you can't possibly know.
Your post didn't really pose any sort of querry where the lady you referenced would be an example, ie had you asked if any other clients had ever had a, "good but less than stellar experience but found that they were touched by something about the woman like a sense of sadness or quiet desperation, that made it an experience that changed the way you veiwed the ladies in this 'hobby'?" and then without names or links mentioned you time with this lady.
Here's a bit of an analogy for you, you call up and have plumber come to your house to fix a leak in your wall. He helps you but seems distant and a bit distracted, you notice a sadness about him and from things he says in passing to you,you conjecture that it is because he is going through a dificult time in his personal life, you imagine his wife has left him and he is going home alone to frozen dinners and loneliness.
Now, you're a compassionate guy, so you call the company he works for and mentions that he did fix your leak, and he did it rather well, he didn't really seem into it, he seemed depressed and you think it is effecting his performance, that it seems he is working out of need for a check and not because he really gets into being a plumber.
Now, you had good intensions when you called, you hoped his bosses would take what you said to heart and try and help him.
What the bosses actually do is go the plumber and say, "Bob, we had a complaint about your work."...because no matter your intention that is how his bosses will characterise it.
Now at that point only a few things are likely to happen:
Bob gets fired for bad work performance.(especially if your not the first well intentioned person to call because you felt bad for Bob.)
Bob's bosses decide that if Bob's personal life has fallen apart thay can probably get him to work longer hours, give him emergency calls etc. and take adavantage of the fact he has no one to go home to...so why go home.
Bob's bosses are good kind hearted people that do want to help him, talk to him about what is going on and if he does have something happening in his life send him to counselling.
Now, Bob's bosses are in business to make money, and no matter how much they may like Bob if they are getting, what they see as, complaints about him that will effect their bottom-line, which course do you think they may take with Bob?
Now exchange Bob the plumber for the lady you saw, and the bosses for prospective clients...
In the "Ex-Wife" post it would be more like a bunch of bosses from different companies looking at a resume for Bill the plumber, seeing that he was fired from every plumbing job he ever had for failure to do his job, and a bad attitude...and then wondering why plumbing companies keep hiring this guy?
See the difference now?
EDITED: Typos, typos everywhere
-- Modified on 8/6/2005 2:05:17 PM
It's like the multitude of clients I see, who whine on and on about their wealthy corporate jobs....don't you know, they're "tired of all they've given up over the years".
yawn...you make the choices to work, being one of the 20% who make 80% of the wealth. Tough job, but someone has to rape the public, keep the lower class down.
Speaking of barfbagss....there's the client who has flown me 3 wonderful times, fun trips, who once said "I don't know how you can do what you do".....of course, he's married, and his words about it: "On paper only"!!!
“Wholly apart from the issue of the provider's identity, this post does a huge disservice to the thousands of professional providers who are in this business because they've chosen to be in it, are happy in it, and have other options that they've passed up because they prefer being a provider. Why should a provider be any different from any other professional -- a shrink, a social worker, a lawyer, a doctor -- all are professionals who give advice or try to make us feel better in some way. The notion of feeling sad for my $300/hour provider is about as sensible as feeling sad for my $300/hour lawyer. “
Okay what about the many other Providers who are in the business out of desperation, are not happy, and have no other options. Perhaps you think they don’t exist. If this profession was as rewarding financial and social status wise as that of layers and doctors then why is the dropout-rate so high? Locally, 50% of the Providers drop out within 2 years. The fact is that these ladies only get paid for the on the clock, face to face time, whereas a profession like lawyer billing hours include all work done including non face to face work. No lady can work 8 billing hours per day 5 days a week 52 weeks a year like the other profession you cited. What about the monetary value of fringe benefits that is not available to providers. Does the lawyer, doctor, or social worker face the same risk legally and to her well being as a Provider does? Yes it makes sense to feel sad about any Provider who are in the business out of desperation, are not happy, and have no other options even if their on the clock rates are $300/hour.
-- Modified on 8/8/2005 2:45:17 AM