Call me a turdwell, but I don't know if I could muster up the whatever you want to call it to slap a woman across the face if she really wanted it. Truth be told, she would probably have to slap me first and then I would be doing it out of anger and I just don't roll that way. Although I don't want to be judgmental about those who enjoy this kind of thing.

I agree with Inicky, this is very tricky territory, and one best discussed well before the clothes come off, definitely not something that you are still learning the ground rules in the heat of the moment. Get your signals crossed and you go from "good clean fun" to full out "assault and sexual battery" in one fleeting second.

That said, although Rod was right that the OP said he was not talking about BDSM, there are a certain percentage of women not into full blown BDSM but who "like it rough" and some of them are into having their face slapped while being called a dirty whore, and I suppose there are guys who look for this type of thing. I would advise that guys looking for this type of thing stick to the women that advertise it, your definition of "rough" might be night and day from what she thinks and this is NOT an area where you can afford to get it wrong. You could end up either in jail or having Turdwell (or even me) knocking at your door if you go too far with the wrong woman. Claiming "she said she wanted it rough" is going to be a poor defense  if you have a crying, sobbing woman, with your palm print across her face, show up at your door with the police or Guido in tow.

I always thought spanking during doggie and face-hitting during mish only happens in porn, and its probably only an act with enhanced sound effects.
So, I was quite taken aback when a lady during a session asked "yeah, spank me harder, that ass is yours", and another one, after I hit her lightly, "ooh, spanking, hit me harder".
Question is: what should be the protocol in a session: see it on her review and then start with a light attempt, ask her first, or wait for her to direct.  
Especially about the face-hitting part, I don't want to ask "hey may I slap your face", and then no more sessions from then on.
And I am not talking about BDSM or S&M types of dates, just regular providers' that post here.

As long as you are just talking about enough to just make a pink mark.  Gals like to spank and be spanked, and I find that quite delightful as long as she does.  Light to medium pinching is another related practice.   Some gals like to go with a paddle, but that is hardcore BD/SM, not my bag.

But slapping, that is another level altogether.

I do have an experience with a gal whom I have known for a very long time.  She likes sex but never had an orgasm, so I asked her about that.  The answer I got was not quite what I was expecting, but she told me that as a result of a very disturbing childhood vis a vis sex, she could only get off if her face was slapped during sex, and she entreated me to help her by doing so.  I was pretty concerned and not at all feeling sexy doing this, but at her behest I started to slap her, enough to leave pretty noticeable red marks on her face, but she kept saying to smack her harder and harder, so I did. It took a couple of minutes that felt like ten times that but doggone it, she did get off from it and thanked me profusely for doing so.

We did this maybe 3-4 times over the course of a year, and thankfully she said she finally got the need out of her and we don't do it now.  She doesn't always come when we have sex, but she says she enjoys the closeness and the feeling more than the orgasm anyways, and I'm coming around to the same point of view.

Another upsetting practice is verbal abuse.  Now I don't mind if a gal wants to do dirty talk where she says stuff like "I'm a slut, fuck me hard.", etc., but recently a gal wanted me to say like things back to her, and I found that a buzz kill, especially with this gal since I hold her in very high esteem.

She was a little tipsy at the time.  (That's putting it mildly.), So in the future I hope we can have our session before we go out and wine and dine.

and its best to have a safe word, so things don't go out of control.  

But you're actually right here.  Some mild butt-slapping is usually fine and I've had several girls tell me to do it harder.  Face-slapping, on the other hand, is dangerously close to assault and the times when it's OK are very few.  One example is if you're with a girl who advertises herself as a submissive and lets you know what her boundaries are at the start.  It's very important to set the rules at the start and establish a "safe word."
Not something I've done very often, or care to do.

I would either have to ask for it or be asked and say whether it's ok.  

I don't think one needs to have BDSM experience to know there's a big difference between slapping someone's butt and slapping their face.

These are boundaries that should be pre-set.
You should understand if your partner is into BDSM, yes, a safe word, and a good idea of, "What is your pain threshold?"  

Seriously. Unless we've met a number of times and I've given you very clear signs that I would want to participate, do not hit my face.

If you want to do something in the BDSM territory, you need to clear that first with the provider. Regardless of whether it is full on BDSM session. Some GFE offer some BDSM services as long as they are light..

I posted mine around the same time and before I saw your post below, with which I agree.  Not sure if you're moderated but it could be that, if you are, my post actually went up before yours appeared. Not sure.

-- Modified on 3/29/2014 9:47:57 AM

Your sensibilities regarding sex aren't shared by everyone in the world. I happen to share a few of them starting with violence towards women and "playing rough" which I just don't enjoy, it makes me feel unclean and almost like a rapist.

That said, it's none of your business what CONSENTING ADULTS do behind closed doors. Some women not only like this type of thing, but beg for it and for many it's the only way they can get off. and get off is what you need to do. Get off your high horse that is.

You want everybody to be nice, well other people want everybody to stop being so fucking judgmental about what turns them on in the bedroom. I bet you NEVER judge gays, why is that? It doesn't make you gay to not bash gays, I don't judge people into scat, trannies or BDSM, if it's between consenting adults, its NONE of your business or mine. Other people don't live by your moral compass, if you want to stop being the board piñata you might start being a little less judgmental yourself.

Lot of GFE offer light BDSM all the time...

They slapped your face as soon as you walked in?  Jeesh I would have seriously gone ballistic on their ass.  I tried the whole face slapping thing once after the client asked permission, I did not like it at all as it felt really demeaning.  Getting slapped on the ass however feels more animalistic and passionate so I do enjoy that as long as it isn't too hard.

"I have literally had people smack me in the face, HARD, as soon as I open the door."

and to read a post by someone where "things went wrong," man, it's quite an image.

we just stumbled into on our first meeting. In mish she just slapped me across the face, quite a surprise, and told me to fuck her harder. I said, ok, but lay off the face slapping. Then we switched to k9 and yepp, she wanted her ass slapped. Ok, I can do that.  At the end of the session we discussed the aspect of her getting off on rough sex, so the ground rules were set for the future. It's all about communicating, hopefully before the activities begin,  and now whenever I want that type of session, I give her a call.  

Or you may be the one who ends up with the bruises.
But there's another point to be made here.  There are some people (women included) who get turned on by sex that's a bit on the rough side.  There's nothing wrong with it as long as limits are established and respected.  And there's also nothing wrong if you prefer not to play that way. For me, I'm all about pleasing my partner as long as it doesn't go beyond reasonable boundaries (and it never has). So if she wants to be smacked, I will comply.
As I may have written elsewhere, I've had more than one girl look at me after I smacked her on the butt and say, "Harder!"

some people like to play on the darker side.. I personally never hit woman (except for last BDSM I had in Dec and was quite the wuss when she was  urging to hit her) But I love women hitting me.. And I like being hit very hard and being in pain..  Pain can be source of lot of pleasure...Trust me.. I've been doing this well over a decade...And some guys like GaG and CPA a few decades more...

I've been debating writing about something I've experienced with 3 people so far (clearly people I have full trust in and consistent sex with, but it does go a bit dark, almost like judging myself I suppose, because it's one of the most dangerous things you can do. I've read women's sites that do full on BDSM and even they often disclose that they don't do it...breath play it's called...the feeling of choking not being what is interesting per se, but after reading up on it "feelings of giddiness, lightheadness, and pleasure, all of which will heighten masturbatory sensations."

But that most certainly does have an element of BDSM to it. If I were in your position, I'd search for ladies whose profiles include BDSM to some degree. I think those of us who like it are probably fairly rare.  

but if you did, whenever someone told you to "go fuck yourself" you would do it with pleasure.

The downside of course would be having Nicky stalking you and constantly trying to fuck you in the ass.

and crying about it to anyone who would listen.

Curly taken a lot of shit over the last couple of days, I think he's stood up pretty well.

As for the rest, you really have no idea how easily a particular girl bruises, so keep up that butt slapping and you may just leave a mark some day.

Thinking of Indians reminds me of Rasha, possibly the smartest, snarkiest, sexiest woman to grace this board. She looks nothing like Apu, his wife or their children.


-- Modified on 3/29/2014 12:48:57 PM

That lady is one of the hottest girls I've even seen or been with.

breaches of privacy don't happen again, that's all that matters. That keeps things to a certain level of decency, even on a board like this.

If done with the right communication between CONSENTING adults, which means the lady is aware of this and allows it. is fine. What is NOT fine IMHO is when a guy or lady disrespects the safe word and goes way to far. OR someone just launches into it without a word spoken.  

I'm not into bdsm though.  I don't find pleasure in degrading or hurting people. If the girl wants it,  I can reluctantly slap the shit out of her though...  with body weight and shoulders put in.  Ha ha jk

Whatever turns you on.  I'll stick with the real Rash. Just missed her return visit.

And I have never really interacted with you.. Who the fuck are you?

great band as well... But I was talking about the likes of the Poseys and  the Molinas..

When I have good rapport with someone, although it is online, I don't have a problem with people picking on me. I can give them shit right back..I don't know your ass from Adam.... Although, I have seen the alias here and there....  

-- Modified on 3/29/2014 4:49:28 PM

But for now, you can suck on this...

But I still had to Google those baseball players (who I now know are baseball players thanks to aforementioned Googling).

But will I ever miss a chance to deliberately misconstrue your comment and pick on you..

you've gone all Brokeback Mountain on us again.  Are you a catcher????  Or a pitcher????
(Sorry, dude, I just couldn't help myself.)

Fastball, Changeup, Curveball, Slider...

Ouch! That must hurt! Also, four balls = walk.

My question was: should I even ask her about slapping on face.
The answer seems to be "No, unless if its a BDSM or S&M session", which I too find quite loathsome and doubt if that's something I will ever ask for.
Spanking seems okay to begin with a light pat, and then let her dictate.
Thanks every one

Wanna hear a fun fact, though? I grew up a few houses down from a big time hall of fame baseball player. His son is my age. Super nice kid.

He is merely Nick's distant cousin...