As a hobbyist, I tend to read provider reviews like I'm scanning news articles in the Post or Daily News. It's entertaining, informative and then I move onto the next one. I was wondering, though, if I was a provider, I might find myself reacting in a sensitive way to them. Some of them could be construed as critical or even hurtful. I wonder if many providers have developed a thick skin, or if they are often hurt by them? It could be a remark made in a review, or just a score given. Like if the provider has a bunch of 8 and 9 scores for looks, then gets a 6 from a couple guys, I wonder if she then focuses unduly on the 6's and believes they are the truth. Or if some providers who get lower scores tend to believe they are not as attractive as other higher-scoring providers. I mean, the review system can be kind of cold and harsh and unfeeling....
Providers who read their own reviews need to have very thick skins. Being rated like that is very difficult and demeaning. Especially when some of the guys doing the reviews are socially stunted and behave like they have aspergers syndrome.
Likewise, while some women come to this industry with a healthy life outlook, many end up here with self esteem issues and they fret over every single score.
I have had plenty of women complain to me that they can't believe someone gave them a rating lower than they normally get.
I'm not sure who you are, since I can't see you (but I can read your post) and these are wise words indeed.
New Yorkers do have thick skins... but in a realm where much goes on; where two people can be vulnerable, there's room for a whole lotta hurt which can, and does happen.
With the White List system, providers can see who he's been with and agonise over THAT bit of info. I, for one, check out the White List ladies when a gent says he's been White Listed. This happens when I'm asked for a reference as well.
It has to do with the provider's experience and then what she reads. Comparison is normal. If she is told she is gorgeous and then gets and 8, it can be... not jarring, not unsettling, but a surprise.
Me, I'm a freaky sort and read my (yes, they are old, and I don't have many) reviews as I get a thrill reliving the memories.
And, feelings aside, escorts can be fiercly protective of their scores. They have been known to go to Admin and successfully claim an actual date never happened if the score was too low.
... but I didn't fight it. Who cares. Plus she could retaliate. I am just here to have fun, not to make a point.
I knew I'd lose. I was a newbie then and she had pages of reviews. I think TER knew she was lying and did it anyway, because if they thought I'd written a bogus review they would have taken disciplinary action and they did not.
Before my review was pulled I actually got a few pm's from guys who also saw her saying my review was right on and that I nailed a couple of delicate topics that they also encountered. Some of them reviewed her and and skipped over it. Some of them were not reviewers. The numbers I gave her were ok but her problem was, as Jack Nicholson screamed in a few good men, "You can't handle the truth!".
A low scorer or a bad reviewer, they will forfeit the date before risking their reputations.
....imagine you get a steady rating of moderate to high ratings for performance and then get a request from a guy whose HIGHEST score for performance was a 6. I'm fairly confident in how much of me I give to every date and normally don't turn down if the guy is a hard scorer but when he's done about 15 reviews so far and his HIGHEST score for performance was a 6 lol damn right i'm passing. I have enough going on to worry about than if a guy is a dick or ridiculously hard to please.
Earlier this year I got a review that contained a critical remark about my tummy and been a gym rat since. So while it was unpleasant to read, it worked out for the best. 2 dress sized dropped and going.
As for low scores - I have several 7s for appearance and while like every woman I would prefer to see only 10s, I also realize that appearance is extremely subjective. Also, some people rate "harder" then others so 7 from them may be worth 10 from someone else. In my book, performance is by far more important and average performance score of 9.2 ain't too shabby I think
I would say that in almost 4 years as a provider only one review really got me pissed and the author is most definitely won't be seen again. But it has to do more with the reviewer than with actual review.
All that said, TER pulls both appearance and performance scores together and average of both defines the provider's position on Top 100 List for each city. So one low score can severely impact the lady's business by knocking her down on that list or even taking her off it completely.
Yes it can hurt and as someone says it take a thick skin to leave trough it without have your self esteem destroyed..
I had guys writting lies in their review as they by-pass my agency and i was collecting the fee completly..
Reality is a girlfriend of mine vouch for him and he was banned from the agency..I told my agency that i had a session(i was paying my commission) but "asshole " decide to right a review that pretty much would get the agency to think she got fooled when she wasn't and i did a favor to the guy.
Guys writing untrue fact..I had someone saying i had a lazy eye and afterward apologize to then laugh about me been upset..Never had a lazy eyes..Doctors have checked me since i am 2 years old
I had one saying i had black teeth..Wow
and other that my pussy wasn't fresh and i didn't have enough towels..(he never went down on me.)
I don't lie about my stats and have pics that are update about every 4months..If you aren't contempt with my look..I rather you leave right away..It hurt the ego but much less than a review stating how much i am not your type
It take a thick skin as some people will proceed to insult you in their review..and then try to book you..I remember a lady phrase saying..if they come back..more money for me..
Personally if you have manage to put me down..Saying derigotary things about me..It is really hard for me to see you again putting aside my feelings.
I read a review with scores and also wording so sometime i have been upset ad score was good but a lot of lies were there..Other time both were least than average when i know i actually push and gave 150%
I now understand that several ladies seem to manipulate the systems..Get all 10's for.....
i personally don't..You write a review fine..You don't ..No worries..
I do not care for the top 100 ladies listing as most haven't been around(as long as i am with the amount of reviews i have) and are consistant for the time i have been around so it is meaningless.
Other sites has ways that the ladies can reply to her own review and thank the person or straight thing out..On this site here we don't have that opportunity so some review when facts are completly inacurate can affect us
A lie.. A simple lie can compromise our bussiness..If you aren't happy with my service as a companion i have no problem you stating your opinion but please kindly remind yourself that we are human and some of the physical caractheristic maybe a sore thing for us or if it come to perfomance that it take 2 to tango YMMV can be a big factor
...that is the question. To be reviewed is to be judged by those that we as providers have no choice in what they will say or choose to rate us (yelp anyone?) With that, I believe we sacrifice our selves to be in the TER system - the system that I believe is the best one on the net for safety, information and reviews. There is a price though to pay as Providers knowing that Reviewers can 'fix' reviews, 'fake' reviews or even dead pan 'lie' in reviews. With that, I believe that the majority of Reviewers prefer to write positive reviews and those that mention poor hygiene, not showing up for a date, being drunk, not looking anything like our pictures, etc is fair. We as Providers know that sometimes we are not 10/10's - that we have our off days, that we are human and make mistakes, that we aren't feeling well and have to cancel, and that life can be extremely hectic at times. For those Reviewers that nit pick things (ie. I found out I got an 8 in appearance because the client forgot to tell me I wasn't supposed to wear any lipstick or rouge). Go figure. We Providers do the BEST we can with this system of TER and I believe we honour it as best we can. One thing I really do like about reviews is keeping me in check. As mentioned by another Provider in this thread, it can make you see things clearer and work on aspects that show in your lower scoring. I appreciate my Reviewers = the good and the bad. xoxoxox CC
Providers wrote reviews. I had a particularly sensual encounter recently (review in progress) and I asked her if she would write a review so I could see things from her perspective. It was intensely erotic but I suppose many could also back fire.
I briefly looked at it yesterday and it looked so cheesy I didn't bother to go inside.
Theres also the issue of the dangerzone411 site...Ive spoken with several good people that were put on there for canceling at the last minute or some small infraction. Although its good for providers to be notified of this, the guys real names show up on a google search...hence "outing" them to the general public. Im not sure this is fair...
The day a provider pays me, she can write a review.
All are great points. Yes, we do need a thick skin as we are putting ourselves out there so need to take the good with the bad.
Gentlemen, when you write your reviews please stick to the facts and provide real or important information. Also, not everyone can read the VIP comments and by stating 3 bland and generic sentences that gives no information except to keep you VIP status does not help or hurt - so why bother. If you had a good time, you may not be welcomed back with enthusiasm. It is a double edge sword and not always kind but TER is a very important resource for us all.
Gentlemen, please be truthful in your reviews and timely so you do not forget to mention highlights of a session or sometimes sessions with different women get blended. The better providers use pictures that accurately represent so you should not be surprised who is greeting you at the door. No need to tear us apart - we all know our short comings and so do you. Can you imagine if we had to numerically rate your appearance and performance. As a positive, I have turned into a gym rat the last year.
With the rise of the internet, everyone has an opinion they feel must be heard. On Monday mornings, I head for the NY Times for the "Mad Men" watch. Within the hour there are hundreds of viewpoints on the meaning of every nuance. On the show "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" from a few years back, the main character begins with "Like movies and restaurants, we live an die by reviews." The episode revolves around a bad review and it's impact, personally and professionally. In the end, a platonic male friend writes a favorable review and she's back on her way. I think the guys here know how to read reviews and "6" surrounded by 8-10s reflects more on the reviewer than the girl.
because there are some girls who you just know from their pics that they are not and cannot be 10's in looks, but get consistently rated as such. Further, if you look back on their reviews when they started off, they were consistently lower. Obviously, the girls and the guys they see are in cahoots or something is going on. It's not fair to the girls who don't play the system.
Consciously or not, a provider's having a thick skin precisely means that she has made a firm distinction between her worth, and the value of her time.
"I mean 'worth' to refer to those things which we prize and yet say, 'you can't put a price on it.' We derive value, on the other hand, from the comparison of one thing with another." (From Lewis Hyde, in The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World)
I have personally known a number of women to start up in this business only to quickly quit because the experience affected them too deeply. For a provider to last in this business and remain psychologically intact, she will need a thick skin, inter alia. Of course there's always the question of just how thick a skin people can have while still considering themselves healthy!
To finish quoting Lewis Hyde:
"If a thing is to have market value, it must be detachable or alienable so that it can be put on the scale and compared. I mean this in a particular sense: we who do the valuation must be able to stand apart from the thing we are pricing. We have to be able to conceive of separating ourselves from it....We feel it inappropriate, even rude, to be asked to evaluate in certain situations....It's a dilemma [when] you are forced to evaluate in a context...which we are normally unwilling to stand apart from and reckon as we would reckon commodities. We are sometimes forced into such judgments, to be sure, but they are stressful precisely because we tend not to assign comparative values to those things which we are emotionally connected."
As a provider who has been on the receiving end of mixed reviews, I think that I may be able to answer your question. Though by no means new to the profession, I had until recently (yesterday to be precise), ignored reading my reviews for the very reasons you indicated in your post. After reading them, I can see that most men, in writing reviews, are trying to convey an objective and matter-of-fact play by play of their impressions of the provider and of what transpired between the two parties. Nevertheless the reviews do reveal to the public explicit details that are usually meant to be kept between two people. For instance, this is what one review said:
“She was very accommodating and I placed her on her knees and stuck my cock in her eager mouth she slobbered over it for awhile until I busted a huge load all over her face. She commented that she looked like a good whore and I had to agree, lol. I didn't want to fuck her - her body is just not for me, I'm sure some guys will disagree but that's just my opinion. Got her on the bed and fucked her face until I busted a load in her mouth - she liked that too, nasty girl.”
Did my stomach turn after reading that? Yes, of course. Have I cried after reading criticisms of my physical appearance? Yes, again. As a woman, our physical appearance is inextricably connected with our sexuality and femininity. To have that aspect of our being criticized or objectified can feel like a knife twisted into an open wound.
But do I care at the end of the day? No. Why? Because, if you are in this business, you understand and accept that exposure is necessary in order to attract clients. It is our choice to be out there or not, and yes you do need to develop a ‘thick skin,’ as you mentioned, in order to provide and stay sane at the same time.
There are people out there who may think I am just average in looks, and others who think I am exceptionally beautiful and rare. A regular that I have known for a few years always refers to my appearance as “iconic.” Neither side is true as physical beauty is a matter of perception, a personal taste if you will, effected by socio-cultural influences. I have learned to take each estimation with a grain of salt …. one could easily let flattery inflate the ego, or let criticisms create a sense of insecurity and paranoia about one’s appearance. We are all social beings, so the opinions of others do affect us. However, it is easy to allow others to define you by your appearance (or other things). It is much more of a challenge to be able to define one’s sense of self…
Obviously positive reviews help, and it does feel great when someone thinks highly of you and your time together. Do negative reviews hurt? Honestly, if you are good at what you do and you enjoy it, you will always have regulars to keep you steady. This business is no different than any other.
My initial impressions after perusing the reviews is that it is mostly about PR on the provider’s end. In other words, providers garner high reviews by being both consistent in what they offer, and in being able to control and maneuver what is said about them via the Internet boards. Hence the comments about some providers who will contact the administration in order to remove negative reviews, or not see anyone who always gives low scores. While I agree with some of the criticisms in my reviews and understand where the client was coming from, others have kind of left me puzzled. Some of my reviews from repeat clients, and one from a guy who extended to a second hour scored me at a ‘6.’ But I think most intelligent men can read between the lines, and decide for themselves from a combination of the reviews, my site, and in conversing with me if I am a right fit for them or not. It is never ideal to see someone who relied on the reviews alone, as this is rather akin to being with someone who would watch the movie in order to have said that he read the book.
Sorry for the length. I have never written before.