Florida

Physical violence is scary ...
Sexy Toni See my TER Reviews 724 reads
posted

...a friend of mine was recently physically attacked by a hobbyist who she sees regularly and he has whitelists, references, Date-Check recommendations, etc. Sometimes you just never know. Sorry to hear about your friend, Brenda.

Just curious why some of you guys who do NOT belong to a verification site such as Datecheck are so opposed to it?

I do give references but unless it is from one of my assistants other girls, I will not take them.

When some Florida boys are trying to send in references and my assistant suggests-to join Datecheck-have the girls verify you, and then she will revisit screening, they cannot seem to comprehend the difference. We can not comprehend why they send in a request after seeing my FAQ page that clearly states I do not accept references.

The difference for ME, is not all ladies give a guy the same reference. Sadly there are a lot of shady "ladies" out there who will say a guy is great-fully knowing he cancels or is a a jerk-or say a great guy is a jerk-hoping the girl will not see him. That is IF the lady bothers to respond. About two years ago, after a serious issue-I said enough with dealing with women who do not have any care about my safety and I make no apologies for what I am comfortable with. I know I lose business because of not accepting references, and that is a choice I am comfortable with.

I feel (right or wrong) that when a girl verifies a guy for all to see, there is LESS of a chance of an issue-plus we do not have to bother to wait for girls to get back to us.

A few weeks ago, my assistant pointed out there are many retired guys in Florida so things will be handled differently on some occasions but even retired guys can be verified on DC-so what am I missing????

Gus, PLEASE do not turn this into a screening debate. I would just like to try and understand and perhaps hear a point of view I have not thought of.

Occasionally, my assistant when she has a lot of her girls on vacation and I will accept white list referrals if PLENTIFUL, recent, & from top notch ladies as the white list is very similar as the Datecheck system.

I had joked around with a cutie recently that he had no white lists but has reviewed many good girls, if I had not met him elsewhere and knew he was good-I probably would NOT have seen him thinking there was an issue.

Do you ask ladies to white list you?

Ladies-do you find any difference in white list referrals verses Datecheck?

xoxxoxox

I belong to P411 for verification but not the other services, so I can't say for sure but it is inconsistent among the ladies. Some want references and won't take a date check. For some guys it may be a cost issue to subscribe to date check places. I understand your thoughts but it seems like you might be missing out on some great guys! Oh, heres another thought, most date check places require a credit card, maybe the married guys don't want a plastic trail that could be seen by their spouse?

I would not want the additional costs myself... Not being cheap mind you but I'm already into TER per month and have been for quite some time.. I cannot afford to hobby much at all anymore due to job changes not by choice but it is what it is.. and that is ok by me...

Every lady is entitled to their own safety standards of course..

You require what you do for your safety and post it clearly. Some ladies do not require as much, but that is their choice.  I figure if a guy has WL and DC refs then he will be able to meet 99% of the ladies' requirements and make setting dates easy. So it makes sense to do so. Obviously new guys have to start somewhere and maybe that is where the conflicts are coming from.  Bottom line is no lady is obligated to see anyone she does not feel comfortable seeing and as long as her screening requirements are made plain then guys can learn what they will need to see her and that it may take some resume building.  I can testify that you really are a sweetheart and want a smooth process. Sorry if I rambled.

in my experience, I get much more accurate and candid information through references.  IMHO a lady is much LESS likely to say anything negative about a gentleman when she's doing so publicly and attaching her name to her comments.

case in point:  I recently saw a guy with two Date Check "highly recommended" ratings, both very recent.  he said he'd been hobbying for years but just joined DC.  I was in a hurry (never good!), accepted it and saw the guy.  he overstayed his time by half again his booked time - omg, if he'd sat down and started talking one more time, I didn't know WHAT I was going to do!  and there was no additional compensation:  "this is all I have, sorry".  plus there were a few other things I'd have liked to know in advance, just to be properly prepared.  

after the fact, I got into a discussion about this guy with a few other ladies.  it turned out he'd shorted one, he overstayed with everyone, and the other issues were consistent as well.  apparently, he had a long history NOT reflected in his Date Check profile.  so WHY did these two ladies "highly recommend" him? I called them and asked.   one told me she "didn't want to hurt his feelings".  the other told me, "yes, he overstayed, and no, he didn't pay me...but it was okay".

I like DC, whitelists and P411 for their ease of use...but then I contact a few of the ladies directly.  by talking to several, if there's a trend I'll soon spot it.  if one lady gives me a completely different story, I'll take that with a grain of salt.

When I got into the hobby I only wanted to join one site and TER seemed to be the best outta the lot.  The need never arose to join any other sites my whitelist referrals always got me through to most.

Im personally guility of doing what your talking about lol. Yes I read your screening faq and I still sent in a request even tho it lacked alot of info you asked for. Why? well alot of women put alot of stringent screening practices up but will tend to bend some of the rules if other things check out. Atleast this has been the case for me.


A provider turned me on to the white list system when I first started Thank god because it used to be hard to get appointments with top ladies. I find that the higher class ladies will whitelist you without asking. they just do good buisness.

I do understand the credit card thing but with prepaid cards being so readily available-I might have thought this is a moot point but do understand guys being super careful & concerned about any trail-especially to an escort site.

As far as cost, funny how we all have our limits on spending on certain things (me included). A guy can spend $500 for an hour with a lady he does not even know if he will click with but not x amount (I think around $130) for a lifetime membership at DC.

J.Marie, I did just have this exact issue. A client who I really like & has been insanely generous with me asked for a reference. (He is not on DC) I was actually shocked when he asked for one knowing my assistant had only told him 2 days before he could not book without prepaying because he had cancelled before. I did not want to give him a reference because he has been a little flakey with me but he can be amazing. After a few hours I decided to just tell the girl exactly what I just said-what she does is up to her but if he was only on DC, she would have only seen a good vouch. I have at times gone to DC and changed a clients ratings if a similar issue comes up.

I wish we could all just behave-lol!!
xxooxox



Brenda is pretty accurate about the old pricing for lifetime membership to Date-check....  When I signed up some years ago that was the cost.  $130 for lifetime.  I believe it has since gone up some since then from what a friend told me.  I personally think it is worth the cost for the lifetime rather than running the repeat risk of year after year paying the tab.  It is the same for Preferred411 they did lifetime as well and I have found both sites very useful.

Bigpart52

You can get to be a member of Date Check without them having ANY of your real information.
They don't have any of mine.
No, I'm not going to explain how publicly. That would be like a handbook for the sleazy and scary to follow. I have no desire to help them.

My point is that, in my opinion, blindly following Date Check could end up being a recipe for disaster.
It's my opinion that a lady is not TRULY safe, unless she knows the guys actual name and info.
Yes, I know there are very vocal guys who are adamantly against this, so let's not turn this thread sideways in a discussion of that. We've heard the rhetoric, we get the point, save it for a new thread.

If a lady does not have the true info about a guy, then she won't know who:
left an empty envelope
wound up acting creepy or scary
got physically abusive
showed up unexpectedly
stalked
or any of the other creepy shit I've been unfortunate enough to hear about.

Just saying "well he's so and so from Date Check" doesn't mean diddly.
Knowing who the guy is, is an insurance policy for the lady. Just like insurance....it's something you have that you hope you never have to use.

Just another reason I'd be a broke and unsuccessful provider. There's NO WAY I'd be in a compromising position, alone in a room, with someone that I have no idea who they really are.

Screening is like a lot of other things. Don't put all your eggs in one basket (meaning don't do it only one way). Just because you've gotten away with it 1,000 times doesn't mean that time number 1,001 won't be the time something bad happens.

Just sayin'
DD

AGREED! I only accept DC if my assistant knows the girls and the girls gave the best vouch.
There have been guys who have 20 vouches but m assistant does not know of them-for us it is the same as zero vouches. Or a guy has 3 vouches from really good girls who scored him the best and he is in. SADLY, a friend of mine had her face smashed in from a guy she knew all his real info-he worked right across the street from her apartment-so real info is not full proof either.
This is partly why when I hear comments about screening-I just ignore-my safety & comfort come before money or what some guy who obviously does not respect my wishes BEFORE he has even met me wants.
THANKFULLY, there are plenty of amazing men out there who understand exactly what you just posted.



Posted By: DirtyDaego
You can get to be a member of Date Check without them having ANY of your real information.
They don't have any of mine.
No, I'm not going to explain how publicly. That would be like a handbook for the sleazy and scary to follow. I have no desire to help them.

My point is that, in my opinion, blindly following Date Check could end up being a recipe for disaster.
It's my opinion that a lady is not TRULY safe, unless she knows the guys actual name and info.
Yes, I know there are very vocal guys who are adamantly against this, so let's not turn this thread sideways in a discussion of that. We've heard the rhetoric, we get the point, save it for a new thread.

If a lady does not have the true info about a guy, then she won't know who:
left an empty envelope
wound up acting creepy or scary
got physically abusive
showed up unexpectedly
stalked
or any of the other creepy shit I've been unfortunate enough to hear about.

Just saying "well he's so and so from Date Check" doesn't mean diddly.
Knowing who the guy is, is an insurance policy for the lady. Just like insurance....it's something you have that you hope you never have to use.

Just another reason I'd be a broke and unsuccessful provider. There's NO WAY I'd be in a compromising position, alone in a room, with someone that I have no idea who they really are.

Screening is like a lot of other things. Don't put all your eggs in one basket (meaning don't do it only one way). Just because you've gotten away with it 1,000 times doesn't mean that time number 1,001 won't be the time something bad happens.

Just sayin'
DD

She is the best at what she does and has saved my hide a time or two from the scary people lol  
Great post Brenda. So glad you are now a Floridian.
Xox

...a friend of mine was recently physically attacked by a hobbyist who she sees regularly and he has whitelists, references, Date-Check recommendations, etc. Sometimes you just never know. Sorry to hear about your friend, Brenda.

Is it just as easy to provide them with false information?

I like having references there as a good starting point for screening. At least that tells me that the guy has seen others and they have lived to tell about it. That's all it is, though.  After that I check some of the references, do alot more online research, talk to him on the phone and/or use other tools to get a better picture of who I am meeting.  References are not a good substitute for screening, but they certainly help begin the process!

I do not hold it to 100% trustworthy. I generally take each gent on a one to one basis as to what I require to make me feel comfortable.  I personally do not white list a gent unless I have seen him at least twice and he has to be a truly, outstanding gentleman. Some ladies just whitelist every gent they see and I personally (just my opinion) think that doesn't hold much value anymore.

There has definitely been issues where there were gents who are whitelisted, lots of reviews and yet they still pull things they should not.

I do use datecheck however I prefer P411 over date check. Plus I "always" contact a couple of the ladies who have given an ok or recommendation.  I have asked gents in the past how each of the sites have screened them and for me, it appears, that P411 is much more thorough.  However, I know it's not fool proof that is for sure.  If a gent calls me on P411 and no references, then they will have to go through my screening of work, etc.

I use to be very, very strict on  my screening and thankfully it has kept me safe and out of trouble.  I am learning to be alittle more easy on the gents but it really depends on how comfortable I feel and take each situation as they come.

Awesome question Brenda...and welcome to Florida..I am sure you are being treated well..

Makenzie

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