I was having this conversation about my therapist (I'm working through some grief issues) and mentioned how I wished I could be more confident in social situations. She pointed out that I feel pretty confident in my appointments -- which is true, after a bit, I really do.  I don't know why I can do it when I'm paid and when I'm not, it's so hard. She suggested that I take what is good about my Duchess persona and apply to parts of my life where I want to be more this or that.  

I am no longer intimidated by beautiful women nor does their 'sexuality' hold sway over me (well not as much).  In turn, I've found IRL women are more attracted to me because I'm a challenge.  Wish I had learned all this much earlier in life, but c'est la vie.

i choose to not date. its just not for me..

Great perspectives on women, men, and relationships!

thats why i said you have to figure out those handful of hours that we are rambling on that are actually important!! lol lol  

Restarting my sex life after many years of celibacy gave me a sense of self worth and a practical reason to get in shape - leading to a loss of over 50 pounds and becoming a gym regular. That led to my getting off statins and more than halving my blood pressure medication as well as more energy.

I have learned that attraction is not the only thing in that chemistry equation.  I have had the most erotic- emotionally and physically- with men that previously I may not have even considered.  Certainly I have been with many races, ages, and backgrounds that I may have never had an opportunity to explore in this intimate fashion.

not really positions or "moves" in the bedroom but just helping her relax.

Posted By: Hello.Duchess

I was having this conversation about my therapist (I'm working through some grief issues) and mentioned how I wished I could be more confident in social situations. She pointed out that I feel pretty confident in my appointments -- which is true, after a bit, I really do.  I don't know why I can do it when I'm paid and when I'm not, it's so hard. She suggested that I take what is good about my Duchess persona and apply to parts of my life where I want to be more this or that.  
   
 I was intrigued by this approach and the sense of it. Then I started thinking about the ways Duchess has made the "real me" a better person. As a result of my work as a provider, I feel I am more open now -- to different kinds of people, points of view, backgrounds, experiences. It has truly opened up my world a bit that way. I am friendlier and have become a (somewhat) better listener. I feel like I am more giving, both emotionally and physically, to people I love, my friends. For example, now I hug more! And I am more transparent about my feelings. Maybe this has come from maturity, and certainly being a mom changed me a lot, but maybe the hobby also helped. Anyway, I feel like it did. I feel much more comfortable with people than I once did. I really did not expect to be changed in these ways, going into the hobby. I thought it would be "bad" for me. But on balance, it has been good for me. Would I trade it for a husband and civvie lifestyle, yes, in a heartbeat. But I can't say that it has turned out to be the negative experience I feared it would be. There are good things about it. I mean, the sex! OMG I have definitely branched out in that way. Boy have I learned a lot  
   
 So how about you? Providers and guys? Has your involvement in the hobby changed you? In good ways?

One thing I've really liked about the hobby is that I don't tie my emotions into having sex as I did when I was not working in the industry. Sex always complicated things in relationships for me but I view sex very differently now, in a good way.

the expectations are higher.  

It completely changed my life, and mostly for the better I think.  It has prepared me in many ways for the next phase of my life, as I am moving on to pursue a relationship and hopefully family.  I was so bottled-up before.  But now, having met so many amazing ladies and demystifing what sex with stunningly beautiful women is like, I think I am ready to move along.  Haven't had a play date in almost 3 months, as I've met a great civvie lady...  My first post here in quite a while too, but this topic caught my attention, and Duchess has always been one of the most "real" and unguarded ladies around here.

. . . embarrassed about the size of my cock.

Love is a wonderful thing! I hope everything works out just like you would like it to do. Also...thanks very much for the kind comments. All the best, D