A lot of the sex that occurs between providers and hobbiest   can be considered mechanical, and very ‘empty.’ This is due to the reality that most sex workers in a contemporary context are not selling themselves for personal pleasure, but rather purely for financial needs. In such cases, the sex that occurs is often conventional, and not outlandish or strikingly ‘exotic’ as one may think. Clients can still cum even when there is no connection established. On the other hand, the minority of providers, like myself, who do enjoy aspects of their job, might utilize mental and intellectual skills to connect with clients. The sex becomes special, not because of physical acts, but because of the connection established. Amazing sex is based on chemistry of two bodies (a rather spiritual bond that cannot be learned, nor forced through ‘skill.’).
I am curious to know if chemistry is important to you and if it does occur, do you like to build on it and develop that relationship, so as to have more more intense experiences as time goes on

I am looking for sexual acts to be performed on me.. If as a byproduct of these acts, friendship, chemistry, a feeling for fondness develops, then I more than welcome it.  

Expecting chemistry with every single provider I go and see is like expecting a perfect game to be thrown every evening when the pitcher takes the mound..  

Few and far between is what makes the word "chemistry" special, and the key is not to seek it out...

-- Modified on 9/3/2014 1:10:15 PM

I have written several responses and started a couple of threads around chemistry. The problem is that chemistry, is different from one person to another. I have found there are specific things to look for to I crease the possibility of chemistry, but it can't be guaranteed.  

That being said, when chemistry happens, it is an amazing experience.

I would definitely keep seeing someone I had great chemistry with.

I find that I can establish excellent chemistry with for example a provider through an Asian agency, with whom I do not have a complete lexicon of communication,  in the context of a one hour date, by:  

being warm, kind,  courteous
treating her like a lover and not like an object
going slow - lots and lots of touch, letting the moments build up naturally instead of just bending her over....
paying attention to her responses and focusing on the mutually pleasurable  

and it probably does not hurt that I am not hard to look at or be with as well :p

I don't need a lot of the sort of "gfe choreography" -  tons of chit chat,  pretend romance etc.  and I don't prefer it.....

If I'm going to spend some time talking or getting to know you, it will be after a round of good sex, if we fit well and seemed to enjoy one another, and if there seems to be mutual interest

and when that spark happens I will often re-visit - which overall is pretty rare for me.

Though I am not a warm fuzzy GFE kind of guy,  I find that I have no problems making good connections in this sport -    

and I feel badly for those who are so jaded or pessimistic about themselves that they don't feel that there can be a certain "real-ness" to an encounter in a P4P context....

hell - several of my best personal friends have been met through P4P....

For a host of reasons to include......I'm over 50; I've outgrown the act of sex for the sake of sex; and I've always enjoyed the journey more than destination.  So some level of connection is almost a must for me.  Yes, I do have the sex for sex sake BP type of sessions but I try to make them rarity and only necessary in pinch when I need to scratch that itch....lol

I would dare say "chemistry" is in the eye of the beholder and has a myriad of definitions per provider and hobbyist.  How do I define chemistry:

- Ease of conversation and discussion of session details (surprisingly this is not a given.)

- Both parties would be intrigued, interested, and comfortable over drinks and dinner just as they would making each other cum.

- A genuine common interest i.e. movies; type of food; interest; etc....you name it.  If it's genuine you'll be amazed at how much mileage and connection can be gained from it.  It's happened for me on several occasions.

With that said, I know achieving that elusive thing called "Chemistry" can be a challenge.  For all the apparent reasons that most experienced hobbyist and providers know, this is a "bidness" and most ladies are in it purely for financial gain.  Hence, I try as much as I can to establish and/or determine how much chemistry will be in the room prior to booking the session.  I attempt to do this via reading reviews, emailing and speaking to the lady on the phone to hopefully bulid that rapport and determine an approximation of how much potential chemistry/vibe there will be.  Another important element in this process is sharing with the lady what you're looking in the session i.e. I'm big on foreplay, massage, exercising my "man-with-a-slow-hand" routine.  Most times I can get a vibe if the lady is "into" these type of sessions.  Surprisingly, many providers give "tells" that they are probably more into the "wham-bam-thank-you...sir" type of session or the "Gonzo" check the acronym box session/cum-and-run sessions.  With this intel I conclude on booking or not.  

"Other" factors do come into play when deciding.  If I really like her body type I'll book knowing it will be a session maybe lacking in chemistry/vibe but high in eye candy/visual stimulation.

Long story short, if I were to have 10 sessions in a week I would prefer at minimum, that 6 have good "chemistry."

I concur with you in regards to not expecting "chemistry". However, when it does  happens, I find it to be very satisfying. It's like a "bonus" or "double bonus".

When chemistry happens, it can be amazing. I am so blessed to have met some very amazing men in this realm. You know who you are, wink.

I am in complete agreement with your response. I really enjoy the gents that are interested in ME enjoying the encounter as well. Sure it is about YOU, but let's both have fun. The "hit it a quit it" scenario is a mechanical bore as far as I am concerned. I am here to dive into the deep end and explore all levels of sexual delight.

END OF MESSAGE

and a lady can vastly increase the chances of good chemistry by being outgoing, communicative, etc. (including being natural and real).
Also, a guy can help with this too, by being the same way, IMHO.
I had great sex recently with the best looking provider I've been with yet (not reviewed yet), but she was lacking in other regards, so I won't likely repeat with her.
Most of my dates have involved some chemistry though, as I've met some very friendly outgoing ladies.
But I've had two dates that stand out in my mind as going even beyond just good chemistry, getting to the level of passionate.  It was almost like a switch went off in the ladies and suddenly they were giving much more to me than just their bodies.  The chemistry on those dates was electric. Getting to a place of complete comfort and trust where inhibitions are lost, maybe rare, but damn fun!  Watching a switch over unfold where a lady goes from being even a great provider and having some fun, to someone who for a few moments has lost track of her roll and has almost become animalistic... hot, hot, hot.

Sure a pretty face and/or a hot body are huge plus. However, my best sessions have been with girls that the chemistry was real. The vast majority I have not reviewed (usually at their request) as well as it simply would have been impossible to put to words what we did. Not all positions have names.

 There is a negative side to good chemistry also. If by the third appointment the chemistry is every bit as strong, if not stronger, it is easy to become attached to that person. It does happen, and if both parties are not headstrong enough, it can have disastrous results. So sometimes when a provider questions why a client with whom she had an awesome time with, never came back to see her, this could be a reason. I am not embarrassed to say that it has been a reason for me.

Every guy here is here because he is horny, lonely or in a loveless/sexless/affectionless relationship. The prescription we seek through providers can work too good sometimes.  

Just my $.02

Mahalo

-- Modified on 9/3/2014 5:14:25 PM

I think it is important, I suppose that is one of the reasons I am so picky and really the only reason I read reviews.

es, we are paying for "services" but I think it's vital to remember that the woman laying across from you (or on top of you) is human just like you. I really believe that many providers have a special place in their hearts for clients who act as gentlemen and show respect and courtesy at all times. In my experience it has almost always been a big difference maker in how enjoyable the sex is because if you act as a gentleman and show respect the provider is going to feel much more comfortable--thus they can relax and enjoy giving you pleasure. So I ultimately believe it's really up to the client to create an environment that allows for "chemistry" to develop

I know the ladies I see and I would never cross paths in real life so it really isnt chemistry in the normal sense. Rather, it's
the willingness to let the sexual relationship develop. That can't happen without her so i wouldn't seek it unless she did too.
 

If there's no chemistry, I never repeat - just a preference of mine- maybe when I'm older, it'll matter less. Because when I was younger, it was the last thing on my mind (full circle?

I'm just curious on what you based your opinion about the hobby. I mean you say "a lot" of sex that occurs in the hobby is mechanical and empty. So...how did you draw that conclusion?  What makes you think that your services are in the minority? A survey of reviews and ratings? A collection of comments from clients? What? You must have used some measure. Because I disagree!

I know right many providers. I know how they approach their work. I have even booked with one. And lord knows I know a lot of clients Clients who have seen 100s of providers.  So, in my experience, which is a sample of one, I would say that the opposite of what you say is true. I would say that MOST providers create a special experience.  I would say that "empty and mechanical" sex is the exception rather than the norm.  It happens, yes, but if it were the rule, gosh, no one would continue to book the way they do. And I've read 100s of reviews and ratings I have read on multiple fora. The really bad, empty experience is not the norm at all.

I would also question the definition of sexual chemistry and its role in amazing sex. Chemistry is mutual attraction, pure and simple. No need to bring a "spiritual bond" into it. A little effort brings a big pay off. It ain't that complicated Men and women tend to like each other. Always have.

END OF MESSAGE

No, it's not gonna happen every time you take the field, but you never know where, when and with whom it's gonna occur.  

And when it does occur, it's magic.  Unlike a perfect game, sometimes it occurs during a subsequent visit, maybe even a few years later when you partner up as a repeat unknowingly.  Ever now and then I'll "accidentally" repeat with a gal I didn't intend to repeat with, but because she might remember me, her comfort and trust levels are different than the first time, not that it will happen, but my point is it may not occur immediately.  

Some of us have trust issues that are complex and the result of a memory of a positive experience, or even a non-negative experience with the other person my change how we react and behave and as stated earlier, anything could happen.

I'm definitely more like intentionally repeat if some chemistry occurs.

Meeting someone for the first time brings with it a host of feelings that COULD cloud any chemistry. While that is not a steadfast rule, the anxiety, the anticipation and the excitement of the meeting can easily cloud one's perceptive receptors.

Chemistry is a wonderful thing when it happens, but knowing what to do with it is also important.  

Personally, I tend to repeat with ladies with whom I have developed a good chemistry with. Not just become familiar with due to repeated visits, but have actually developed the chemistry that entices return visits, extending of the relationship beyond just good sex (a meeting of the minds, if you will) and of course, that enhancement of the intensity that good chemistry brings along with it.  

To answer your last question.....does that mean having more intense experiences as time goes on? Absolutely, at least for me it does. The comfort level, the actual mutual desire to see each other and the relaxing effect you know you will each have on each other are fantastic reasons to continue and build the relationship.

As usual Megan, great provocative post fom you.

Well stated and I concur.

It makes a big difference in my level of satisfaction and whether I choose to repeat with a provider.

Earlier I referred to that "elusive" thing called chemistry for this very reason.  

My definition of Chemistry is the type that can be referred to as "sexual chemistry" which is present/developed purely to make the sex explosive and memorable.  

Anything crossing the line into reality and/or civvie style relationship is strongly frowned upon and I run as fast as I can.  I've experienced both and the Chemistry that attempts to evolve into a "real world" relationship has NEVER worked in my experience.

Now good sexual chemistry......there is nothing like it!!  I will admit sexual chemistry tends to wane as time passes.  But when both parties come to the realization the the sexual chemistry has used up its useful life and come to its expiration date both individuals move on happily with no drama and agree that it was fun while it lasted and promise to get together again when and/or if the fond memories start to resurface and the need for re-connecting is necessary!!

Given your source of intel i.e. reviews and YOUR clients that is a relatively small sample when considering the volume of disappointing appointments clients have had over their careers that specifically LACK chemistry.  Hence, that's why we join sites like TER to get a sense of how the session will go and how the provider conducts herself.  

The majority of TER reviews one reads are overall positive as most kinda know what they are getting when they walk through the door.  As such, disappointing sessions are relatively low on a percentage basis.

Hence, when first getting into the hobby world and when one frequents avenues such as BP clients can tend to kiss plenty of Ms. Piggies before learning and/or taking the time to ensure arranging sessions more to their liking.  In addition, the more skilled ladies and/or ladies who one can develop chemistry with tend to be priced above most BP level ladies.  As such, if the lack of money or time is an issue, yet the itch needs to be scratched then one may settle for the mechanical, empty, I just need to cum, kinda session.  This most times turns into those V8 moments.

Chemistry tends to result in, and require, longer sessions with experienced providers.

I, like Tall6969 have had enough sex for the sake of sex and much prefer to have chemistry.  Much more important than looks alone.  A 7 with great chemistry is way hotter than a 10 with no chemistry.
It doesn't happen as often as I would like.

JD

The possibility of a disappointing session can be minimized if you read reviews and do your homework, but you can't really get a true feel for what the chemistry is going to be like between two people from reading some reviews. I have had disappointing experiences with ladies that many people loved, and had some great experiences with some people that have not perhaps been as highly rated (not often, but it happens).  

I would also say that I have had some great chemistry with ladies that I have only seen for a 1 hour date.

There will never be any chemistry if a man doesn't act accordingly. While I may appeal to the one a done types, it doesn't do all that much for me. I much prefer building relationships and having hot smoldering sexual interactions.

I can honestly say, I don't repeat if I don't have chemistry with the person. There has to be something there for me to repeat. Why revisit a shallow boring experience? Mechanical drool. Who needs that?

Me too!

Smoking hot!!

I am going to PM you on this one xo