I only ask this because I recently have come across a couple of ladies who required employment information even with references from other ladies. I agree that everyone should be allowed to screen however they want, but I was just caught off guard that offering 3 or 4 references was not going to be good enough without employment information.  

Any thoughts?

A girl who retired recently required work information along with references. She was becoming a well known woman for some part in the movie industry. Her reasoning was that if anyone exposed her she could expose them. I'm not sure how well that would actually work but, she was paranoid.

Please don't expect that we know every provider by name.  We are not on a first name basis like some sorority.  Please include your references name, phone number, e-mail, and if possible website or link.  I hate when guys expect me to do all the research.  I also hate when guys expect this to be an instantaneous process.

Trust me love, makes two of us. I have to tell people that just because you  put a name down under the references doesn't mean I have any idea who this girl is or how to contact her. Even worse is when a guy sends me something like that and then messages me 5 minutes later saying something silly like "Are we good? Can you meet in an hour?" Realistically, references don't typically respond that quickly...

you may behave for one lady, not necessarily the next.  Had one gentleman, with many references, be a total timewaster, strung my girlfriend and I along for a long time. So, no, references are not enough.

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Not sure what you are referring to since I was not referring to you!  Lol!  Guilty of this, I assume but not with me!

-- Modified on 7/19/2016 5:02:31 AM

Some ladies are okay with references only, but requiring personal information/verificable employment is typically a better method because it is a way to cross reference one's identity

Some guys give references that are ladies who are UTR, not "reference friendly", etc. making life more difficult to check those references.

There are probably hundreds or more reasons for a lady not accepting references (only). A lady must do what she feels is best for her. Does that mean she will lose some potential clients? Sure, but she decides what works for her and nobody else (unless she gives that "power" to someone else like a friend, screener, agency, et.al.). If it hurts her business that much, she'll have to figure out something else to help. Again, that is her choice.

On the flip side, from the gents perspective, how badly do you wish to see the lady? If badly enough, give her what she wants for references or you will either A) not get to see her or B) if you do get to see her, there will be a level of distrust, uncertainty or even animosity at the very least. Doesn't sound like an appealing time to me or someone I'd pay my hard earned money to see.

The choice is yours to make. Personally, if any lady has a screening requirement I am not comfortable with, I simply move on. Remember, we P4P and if someone doesn't want my business, I know lots of others who do and will accept my references. Those are the ladies I will see.

Bottom line, she has her rules, you have yours. If they are not compatible, you have a choice to make. Only you can decide what level of information you are comfortable giving. It really is that simple.

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I can be used against you by SOME providers if something does not go their way. Be careful if you have a car and they ride in it because SOME will get your car registration information so they can blackmail you.  

You might want to move on the next one. Sounds like you might be dealing with some drama queens.

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Informative, nonjudgmental.  Great response.  Well done.

Don't really trust references especially from girls they don't know and rely solely on their own confirmed knowledge. I really don't blame them because myself I have a hard time trusting a provider who I haven't met, might not even remember him or even take the time to check to verify it

This is the first I've heard of the car thing though!! Reputable ladies shouldn't be an issue with that thing I don't think if your sticking with girls like that.

Funny you mention this. I was coming out of an ABC store and pasted a "gentleman" on the way in who just got out of a late model Corvette with a lady in it. Caught my eye because he did not look like he could afford the car and she did not look like a good match for him. He went in the store and she got out and walked around to the driver's side. I thought she was going to drive the car but she stopped, got out her cell phone and took a picture of the car's VIN number. Several as a matter of fact. I figured her for undercover LE at the time but maybe she was a provider doing what as you say.

I was trying to stop seeing one. That's what she did to me. She sent me a text of my address with my car registration information it and wanted to have an urgent meeting to get me back. She offered bbfs and I declined.

So, you allow a Back Page lady to ride in your car, and then allow her to go through you glove box and any other enclosed area she wants without saying a word to her, not posting a review of this event or ever posting anything to let others know it happened or who she was?  

I call BULLCRAP.

+1

I will use references from Providers that are well known, but I have my own screening method so if for some reason the provider does not get back with me its no big deal.  

When I tour one particular state its like pulling teeth to get a reference from a provider.That is another reason why I started using an alternative screening method.