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understood. a cautionary tale:
Claudius42310 13 Reviews 1089 reads
posted

i think this story will pass muster as not outing anyone except myself as being an idiot so i'll tell it.

my UTR Iago lady (yes, a Shakespeare reference, see link below if that is a problem) was hard to avoid. i normally saw her every workday. she did not obey STFU requests, demands or orders. her excuse was looking after my "risks".

so i asked some questions of my provider friend, nothing out of line with regard to previous discussions. i believe she misperceived that there was a "right" or a "wrong" answer to be had and stressed out needlessly trying to figure out what to say.

thing is any answer from her would have had no effect on my desire to see her, i was prepared to accept her situation on its own terms. my main reason for wanting an answer from her was i was trying to figure out WTF to do about Iago.

in the absence of any further communication from my provider friend i finally managed to gently get Iago out of sight and out of mind: i put her in the path of an oncoming job offer such that she thought it was all her idea to leave and that i had nothing to do with it.

had lady Iago not caught me on my hobby laptop composing an email to my provider friend there would have been no drama at all. the connections would never have been made.

Related Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iago

LegMan25694289 reads

Reminder for all.....especially for those new to the hobby......do not share info (names, friends, family, places they hang out, appearance, etc,) about a provider with others that they don't publicly post themselves!

Discretion, privacy, and trust are part of all human relationships but they are especially important to this hobby community!

If the ladies want some person to know something about them, it's their choice to do so....whether by putting it on their website or communicating it directly to the person they choose to do so with.

Be discrete, respect the lady's privacy, and don't violate their trust!!!  To do otherwise is uncouth, ungentlemanly, and more importantly can at the very least put those wonderful ladies in awkward/embarrassing situations, or even worse negatively effect their safety and security!

Let's do everything in our power to help them stay and feel safe!!!

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AngelinaDDD2954 reads

Thank you for that kind reminder!you are the best;)

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MilfHunter211272 reads

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MarkusKetterman5649 reads

no matter how long he's been here, how many reviews he has....

sharing information about your *experience* with the provider is fair game. Answering service related questions that cover the same ground as her profile is fair game

(if she is giving you time or services NOT reflected on her profile KEEP your mouth shut)

DO NOT share details that compromise her security  

if he wants to see her let him contact her and pass her screening

Your provider friends DO NOT want even information about their location or contact info , which is not published on their site,  going to other hobbyists, no matter how well established they may be, unless they pass their screening.

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Tamara G1939 reads

Related Link: http://thetamarag.wordpress.com

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Claudius423102296 reads

whether from reviewers or providers.

my most significant hobby disappointment was partly due to being fed information i didn't need or want to know about one of my faves from someone i believe was a UTR provider out to create trouble. in this case successfully, more fool i.

other, nonUTR ladies, have occasionally offered (but in a plausibly deniable way) negative personal information as a marketing ploy.

i am populating my DNS list in accordance with those incidents.

i also recently cautioned a hobbyist who provided me with too much information (location info) about a lady i had seen while in quiring about her. naturally i pointed out that if i had been a bad guy i could use that information to be intrusive.

don't say, don't hear.

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milkman881000 reads

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Claudius423101276 reads

the reviewer i was referring was not you. it was someone else with whom i don't banter on board at all so i'm not outing anyone. he had given me a current working location of someone i have seen.

i simply pointed out that that was too much info. a stalker would have taken that information, run with it, and turned up at the likely current workplace.

in the other cases there were unfortunate reasons why my judgement was clouded and i considered the negative information i received. the UTR might have had false loose lips trying to exploit a delicate situation.

i am taking a hard line against negative marketing these days. now when a lady tells me something negative about a favorite who does well by me, i just don't want to hear it. not even if it is true. in the grand scheme of things the effectiveness of a lady is more important to me than any gossip about her.

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MarkusKetterman2663 reads

between clients and the ladies they see, in order to atttempt to obtain their business.

If I enjoy a lady I do not give a shit to hear negative stuff about her.

doesn't matter to me if it is plausible. Or juicy. I just don't want to hear it.

And ladies who make the mistake of trying this on me get on my permanent shit list

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AngelinaDDD2732 reads

Sad, but true!!!  Many bad things happen from inside the circle, as I just found out!!!  Still not good though, still leaves a bad taste!!!  I am headed out of town for a few days, need to compose myself, as well as in need for warm weather:)  Thank the people who helped me, at my lowest!!

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Claudius423102375 reads

when i have been an extra special idiot.

sometimes the hint that a reassurance would be nice that some thing heard is false is more than a lady can bear.

sensitivities in the hobby can be much keener than in "real life".

ah well. it is a real fool who cannot learn from pain.

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MarkusKetterman1691 reads

from the psychodynamic perspective, the compartmentalization that many providers experience, creating a provider personna or alter ego, places a lot of stress on the system

if she gets to know you and like you, she lets you touch the "real" person a bit.

This causes her to have to integrate the two compartmentalized personalities to deal with you which can be stressful enough. That is why she becomes sensitized to things you say and do, that might not bother her from others

once she has let you in a bit, she is very vulnerable to any hint of disapproval or mistrust.

That is a good reason to shield ourselves from any negative stuff directed at us about our provider friends.

It's a no win situation.

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Claudius423101090 reads

i think this story will pass muster as not outing anyone except myself as being an idiot so i'll tell it.

my UTR Iago lady (yes, a Shakespeare reference, see link below if that is a problem) was hard to avoid. i normally saw her every workday. she did not obey STFU requests, demands or orders. her excuse was looking after my "risks".

so i asked some questions of my provider friend, nothing out of line with regard to previous discussions. i believe she misperceived that there was a "right" or a "wrong" answer to be had and stressed out needlessly trying to figure out what to say.

thing is any answer from her would have had no effect on my desire to see her, i was prepared to accept her situation on its own terms. my main reason for wanting an answer from her was i was trying to figure out WTF to do about Iago.

in the absence of any further communication from my provider friend i finally managed to gently get Iago out of sight and out of mind: i put her in the path of an oncoming job offer such that she thought it was all her idea to leave and that i had nothing to do with it.

had lady Iago not caught me on my hobby laptop composing an email to my provider friend there would have been no drama at all. the connections would never have been made.

Related Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iago

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splunge1486 reads

Damn, I was just about to post everything I know about every provider I've ever seen for no apparent reason. Your post could not have been more timely as it has shown me the error in my ways. I cannot thank you enough!

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splunge1981 reads

As long as we're reminding people of what should be obvious, this is also good advice.

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milkman882143 reads

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