Hi TER friends. I'm in my early 30s, married with two small children. The past several years have been so busy for me and my wife that we are in a rut, sexually. Sex is infrequent and not terribly exciting, mainly because I lack the confidence to try new things.

I am looking for someone that I can connect with over multiple engagements to help rekindle the fire that I once had inside and teach me new skills that I can use back at home.

If anyone has any suggestions, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks,
BR

are personal to you, and have little or no bearing on the providers you seek to spend time with. I have never been asked in last 12 some years of hobbying, why I am doing this. Ones who choose to see me are just glad that a clean, well groomed guy is there with full donation.  

You might want to seek someone who offers PSE experience, which includes CIM, COF, Greek etc. Such an offering may help you expand your horizons - so to speak. Head on over to the Search Page and check out what sparks your interest.

...because you may be at risk of liking P4P sex more than sex with your wife. I'm not saying that you can't have both and enjoy both on their own terms, but if you find a provider who does things you really like that your wife will never do then you're opening up a big can o' worms, so beware. Your reasons for entering this world are completely valid - I wish you luck!

After after dipping toe in this world, if he still can't muster some confidence, maybe I can jump in and help his wife out..

I have always liked other people's wives for some reason.. Bwahaha

Never been married, don't plan on it any time soon- commitment issues and too lazy to do the work! LOL!

BUT a home life taking care of 2 kids is stressful. After her day of dealing with the babies and household stuff, the last thing she probably wants to think about is pleasing your selfish hard on!  
Communication and understanding on your part would do wonders, perhaps help out more with household and kids- you can get them fed and ready for bed one evening and let her take a hot bath and relax and maybe she will consider pleasing you. A bunch of ideas come to mind, but really focus on her, allow her time to herself to find her sexy again and be receptive to times you can just sit and talk and cuddle without the kids and let the sex just happen. Forced or unenthusiatic sex is never fun and she will resent you and her "wifely duties."

In the meantime, check out a GFE provider of two and make plans to get some nuts off soon so you can go home and be super hubby and not be overly sexually frustrated in the process. A lot of BS at home to put up with but hey, you wanted the family, so it's your problem to deal with and fix. I would NOT suggest trying PSE stuff with your wife, the first thing I would think-  this bastard is cheating, and I would leave your ass and take the two kids! LOL!  

Just my opinion, it's not worth much but it just makes sense. Good luck!

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With your wife anymore. I was in the same situation as you about 10 years ago. My sex drive was low and sometimes  I couldn't even stay hard enough for intercourse. My SO's complaints about my performance and our lack of sex definitely made things even worse. My doctor diagnosed that I have low T so she prescribed me Testosterone supplement and Viagara. The ED problem went away but I still had low sex drive. Finally, I decided I needed some excitement in my sex life so I dipped into this hobby. Once I started, I was like a kid in the candy store. I tried Greek, CIMNQNS, doubles and everything I saw in the porn video with providers of different ethnicities (busty blondes are still my favorite, LOL). I even got caught  by my SO 2 years ago and had to lay low for 6 months.  That only slowed me down and I am back into it in full force now. To me, sex with only one person just seems so unnatural so I need variety. Now, I don't even need the blue pills anymore (I knew my ED was mostly psychological).

I am not sure what confidence you are talking about: Do you need someone to tell you that you are a good lover? Most of them will tell you whatever you want to hear since it is their job to make you feel good about yourself. You might also learn a few tricks from the providers on how to please a woman. But from my personal experience,  it is hard to get out once you get in. I know I probably won't quit until I can't get it up anymore. LOL. I seriously doubt 'dipping' into this hobby will help your sex life at home, but good luck.

-- Modified on 10/8/2014 2:53:36 PM

There are a lot of naysayers on this thread, but I understand what you mean about needing to rekindle your own sex drive.  I don't think PSE is the way to go either, because the style of pornography is extremely fake and meant to make you feel like a superstar sex god even if you're not actually pleasing the lady in question.  Sounds like you need a hot new connection, someone to help you hone your skills, and to show you some new experiences that expand your sexual imagination and teach you new things about accessing pleasure.  I've played such a role for many gentleman in happy relationships whose sex lives just need a bit of new life brought into them and would be happy to pull you out of that rut you're in if the interest is mutual!  

I do think it's important to clarify to a provider when you want her to teach you skills.  Many guys expect us to pretend to enjoy everything they do to us even if it is painful or completely unpleasant.  Just look at the large number of reviews that complain that a lady's moans were "unconvincing" or whatever.  Many guys don't care about whether their technique is pleasing or horrible, just whether we can convince them that we love it or not.  So it's important for a lady to know when a gentleman genuinely wants to learn how she likes it.  A lot of gentleman who've seen hundreds and hundreds of providers still haven't managed to learn a thing.  And that attitude is reflected by a lot of the naysayers on this thread who view providers as purely entertainment rather than as knowledgable educators.

If I'm your type, please get in touch, and if not, best of luck on your search to rekindle your flame!  

Thank you all for the thoughtful feedback! Everyone made very good points.

Too funny. I think banging a hobbyists wife might be something to look into. She might give up some COF, Greek Or whatever simply because she wants it and didn't want to do it with her lying, cheating whoremonger of a husband.  To top it off, she might do it for a few drinks at the bar and some good conversation. Oh shit..I just thought of something, I was staying at a hotel once and met a lady at the bar. We headed to room and rocked each others world. She had a wedding band. I wonder if her husband was a hobbyist.

You can become a better lover by paying attention to your mate. Ask her what she likes and if she is too shy, try different things.. Varying degrees of touch, speeds , different sensations. Pay attention to how she reacts. Ask her if she likes it. Just really pay attention. Watch her face and her skin, does she get flushed, goosebumps. People think to much and get in the way of themselves  having a good time.  

 If you want to try new things or sexual practices then just ask. Otherwise keep it P4P. Where you can find a lady that does Act A or B or Z.

  Back to my comment about providers. I could say yes see me , I will open new doors to your sexual world by teaching you new things. It's a great advertisement. Truth is I will be me and I will treat you well and do things that feel awesome to you. I am a provider and a damn good one but I am not a sex expert. I know things but I am not a teacher. I have had people before  ask me to show them things or moves they don't know and it puts too much pressure on a woman. Can't we just get together and go at it?

 
  Go forth and have fun! See providers for the pleasure of it.

-- Modified on 10/9/2014 12:18:09 AM

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I think dude should get a divorce while he's still young. hopefully he signed a pre-nup and just play daddy on the weekends. Society has accepted single parent moms and dudes can just pay child support if ya not good enough at hiding income.  

I didn't know people still get married. Have baby mamas and pay child support...and show up on the weekend or something. The government is set up to eradicate the man from the equation anyways...especially if ya not white. More kids a woman has...the government will pay her more to stay home if she ain't too highly educated to make more money. you can have a weekend family...do what you want 5days a week.  

It's like in now in days people bring outside kids and find people that really want to get married at a certain point instead of whoever they had a baby with. Outside of college girls be preggo early 20's and end up getting married at 30 and create a brady bunch with the man's kids, hahaha. Then again girls in college tend to smart enough to be good with birth control pills...eh.  

 
I don't have a wife or kids and i'm a couple years younger than thread starter....but i'm just stating facts.