...in a number of ways:
for example, I have a buddy who is simply ob-SESS-ed with the idea of hobbying! Every time we hang out, he pumps me for every little detail about my latest encounters, etc. He continually asks the same questions, most of them focused on the risks. I always tell him the same thing: It's part of the deal if you jump into this activity. I recognize that he can't help himself asking the same exact questions over and over - and that he does it because he is hoping I will one day answer differently "...No, I figured out a great way to cover every base and do this completely free of risks..." I've told him this and that that answer will never come, because it will never be the case.
Now to your question: as it happens, I was infected with oral herpes by a girlfriend in college, who told me she didn't even know she had it until we determined that she passed it to me and caused me to have a HORRIBLE break-out. Maybe she lied...who knows, and it doesn't matter now 20 yrs later. Anyway, so I guess I have a slightly different perspective on the issue than you do (and will). I live with herpes and I really don't find it to be a factor in my life at all.
My answer is that I think you are being a little like my friend I mentioned earlier: you know the answer, but you're just hoping against hope you can find someone to give you a credible answer that there are steps one can take that will allow you to feel 100% safe from herpes while enjoying this hobby. I can only reply that it just ain't so...
I would rejoin by saying that, for me personally, the risks are far and away worth the satisfaction I get out of this deal - to the degree that I would have walked out on my family (and probably fucked up my kids) without this outlet in my life.
J
Let me start by saying that I am a 41 years-old guy who recently went thru a bitter divorce; currently, I do not have the time nor the desire to pursue any kind of relationship and that’s where this hobby plays a big role.
I discovered this hobby by accident and really want to get into it but there is something holding me back; I know condoms, if used properly, can prevent several STDs but what about herpes? There are so many beautiful providers out there and I really want to experience this hobby to the max but the fear of contracting herpes is overwhelming. What do you guys suggest? Do you think I am over-reacting? Did you guys go over this dilemma when you first started? Thank you so much for your time.
There is a plethora of medical documentation confirming genital herpes can be transmitted even when a condom is used properly. I don't think you are overreacting. While the rewards can be great so are the risks. It's part of the reason I don't see escorts too often and fortunately I'm into domination play which is safer as far as STD's are concerned (and why I don't engage in shared toy play). I've seen similar language from several sources I looked at to the below summary - in a nutshell, condoms help protect but are far from a guarantee if the partner is infected. There is definitely no free ride short of a monogomous relationship.
Condoms and Genital Herpes: Because of the risk of transmission from subclinical shedding, it is helpful to use condoms for penetrative sex in between outbreaks. Condoms restrict contact between the penis and the mucosal surfaces of the vagina, mouth or anus, where subclinical shedding is known to occur. Be advised: Condoms may not cover all sites of viral shedding, and they don't provide a 100% guarantee against herpes transmission. For example, herpes sores may be present on the scrotum or upper thigh, or virus may be shed into vaginal secretions that would reach places not covered. Even in heterosexual men or women, virus is shed in the area around the rectum (perirectal HSV). Thus, contact by touching or rubbing with this region of the penile skin or vulvar area may result in exposure to the virus. Even limited contact can result in exposure to high quantities of the virus. Reducing this exposure means putting on the condom during foreplay. Condoms are about 50% effective in reducing transmission between sexual partners. Condoms are the best all-around form of protection against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Have you ever been tested?
Do you know you can carry Herpes for years without signs?
The odds are as good or greater of your getting herpes from a civilian and carrying it for years without ever knowing.
Do your research then decide if the risk to reward is worth the gamble.
As a former health educaton coordinator for the Red Cross, I would suggest you go to the CDC's website to get your answer. While people here have the best intentions, you may receive the wrong information. Good luck.
my advice don't do it. if you are this worried you will not enjoy it. If you must do everything covered, don't DATY, don't kiss.
...in a number of ways:
for example, I have a buddy who is simply ob-SESS-ed with the idea of hobbying! Every time we hang out, he pumps me for every little detail about my latest encounters, etc. He continually asks the same questions, most of them focused on the risks. I always tell him the same thing: It's part of the deal if you jump into this activity. I recognize that he can't help himself asking the same exact questions over and over - and that he does it because he is hoping I will one day answer differently "...No, I figured out a great way to cover every base and do this completely free of risks..." I've told him this and that that answer will never come, because it will never be the case.
Now to your question: as it happens, I was infected with oral herpes by a girlfriend in college, who told me she didn't even know she had it until we determined that she passed it to me and caused me to have a HORRIBLE break-out. Maybe she lied...who knows, and it doesn't matter now 20 yrs later. Anyway, so I guess I have a slightly different perspective on the issue than you do (and will). I live with herpes and I really don't find it to be a factor in my life at all.
My answer is that I think you are being a little like my friend I mentioned earlier: you know the answer, but you're just hoping against hope you can find someone to give you a credible answer that there are steps one can take that will allow you to feel 100% safe from herpes while enjoying this hobby. I can only reply that it just ain't so...
I would rejoin by saying that, for me personally, the risks are far and away worth the satisfaction I get out of this deal - to the degree that I would have walked out on my family (and probably fucked up my kids) without this outlet in my life.
J
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