I have been dating a beautiful escort behind my wife's back for a year and a half.  She found out just recently that I saw another escort.  I had promised her that I wouldn't see anyone else.  She is so angry she is threatening to tell my wife, my co workers, everyone I know.  I don't know what to do.  I haven't admitted it but she says if I admit it she will ease up.  She knows everything about me that I cannot deny to my wife not knowing her.

I know that my wife will leave me.  Also I know that the girl in question is angry and may calm down and change her mind.  In the meanwhile, I am very nervous.  I did make a promise to her and broke it.  She is angry because we've been having bareback sex and she said that she trusted me.  She accused me of using her for free sex.  Should I try to buy my way out of this?  What the hell do I do?  

The best thing to do when you find yourself in a hole is STOP DIGGING!

Maybe you can threaten to turn her in.......You know this whole escort/client thing is supposed to be fun and games.  She should understand that.

Was she seeing you as a client or as a boyfriend?  Were you $$$ for her services?

I wouldn't worry to much...Just tell her that if she says anything to your wife or your co-workers that you will turn her ass into the police.  

Its a shame when people step over the boundries of this profession.

She should have known better, considering you met her as an escort in the first place.  

Now that you see how she is, you need to cut yourself away from her.  You don't need someone in your life that is going to make things more complicated for you.  These are the hazards of dating an escort or a client.  

Thanks,

Charlie Jean  
[email protected]
703-434-2905

As a boyfriend.  

It's more complicated than that.  I did tell her I loved her and she did miss work because of me to see me.  She feels betrayed.  There's no way I'm turning her in because she already told me she could care less.  And I know she means it.  She is not only angry but she is hurt and is acting strange like she doesn't care about anything.  

Besides, turn her in for what?  Beinc an escort?  Or threatening to expose me?

That's why you should always pay for services rendered.

Fake your death...relocate to another area..preferably a different country..lie low for awhile and then reestablish contact with your wife..she will be shocked at first but once you assure her that you love her and she will not have to return the insurance money if she plays along she might be willing to reunite with you..assuming she has not remarried.  Then learn by your mistakes...Providers are people too...you should not jerk them around for free sex...or worse, unprotected sex. It"s OK to luv a provider..not OK to LOVE a provider...You do not belong in their life..they do not belong in yours..The exchange of $$$ is a contract that is more about leaving at a certain time than arriving at a certain time. Actually, you might be better off finding a different hobby!  Good luck in Bolivia.

...know when to walk away, and know when to RUN!

Bad news - there is no Good news

You played with fire and now you're going to get burnt.

You've hurt two people and now they will return the favor.

Don't pay anybody unless the court tells you and they probably will.

As another poster said you need a different hobby.

I know, I've got scars!

I guess there is always the French Foreign Legion.  BTW, it STILL does EXIST.

We've ALL got scars, squat.  In my case, they are both mental AND physical.  I can't show the mental ones (unless you meet me).  Would anybody like to see my PHYSICAL ones? {pulling a Randy Moss}

I talked to her, she has calmed down but she is a spitfire.  Her passion comes out in everything she does and she is pretty damn angry.  I shouldn't have gotten involved.  We're talking about a highly intelligent woman here but boy does she say nasty things.  I shouldn't have told her that I'd be faithful to her.  I should have just said that I will still hobby or at least discussed it with her.  Her biggest hangup is dishonest people.  And I probably should have used condoms.

She's already stated that if she has to go down to take me down she will.  But she knows I will never expose her real name or her profession to her family, I'm just not like that.  

We are going to be meeting tomorrow evening to talk.  Wish me luck.  

She even has photos of us having sex!  And naked photos of me.  There's no way my wife is going to believe my denials.  Should I just come clean to the wife?  

Why don"t we just take your word on this one!

sorry to say, but is the truth. Happened to me before, I crossed the line and got involved with a client. Everything was a bliss until the day he had the nerve to ask me to refer him to a fellow provider he wanted to see....lol.
Between a john and a hooker there is a fine invisible line, and it should never be crossed.
Good luck, you're going to need it

-- Modified on 3/4/2005 12:16:44 PM

-- Modified on 3/4/2005 12:17:13 PM

You say she found out, but you have not admitted it. How does she know and can you deny it.

Reoes that make the poster john wayne?

that's pretty bad....but good enough for a laugh...

Randy Moss, Ponzone(hee hee).. Hate to hear about your scars man. I just got over a situation like this, you need to keep things in perspective. This is a hobby and can't cross the line. I did and got burned.

-- Modified on 3/4/2005 5:45:38 PM

THREE WORDS -


You Are Screwed!




Have A Nice Day!

One dollar at a time..oops meant day. I hope you only been marry a short time with no kids.. LOL

-- Modified on 3/4/2005 6:03:41 PM

Your right, no  kids.  But not a short time.

Thanks everyone for your support, even with the wise cracks.  I know or hope it was intended to make me feel better.

We worked it out.  I'm forgiven.

I sense some hostility from you and I am curious, why?

Reoes that make the poster john wayne?

Classic! LOL

a) Tell your wife
b) If it was free sex for so long then....Pay her back whore wages?
c) if not a nor b then proceed onward down this message.

I would agree with her. Tell her you were using her for free sex like she says. Agree to everything she says except for part of telling your wife.

Now here comes the fun part.  Your relationship with the scorned escort is over. Drill it into her head that you used her; obviously did not care for her, and you have no regrets. You have to be an asshole. They only way to deal with someone potentially crazy and out to get you is to one up them. You are not a mental health professional; you are trying to save you marriage.

She will flip out, and hopefully get a lot of therapy. You will have earned a few more gray hairs. The bottom-line is that she is trying to hurt you as bad as you hurt her, but it doesn't matter since it is done now, and in the past and you have other priorities.

Then go to your wife and explain that someone is trying to extort money from you. Give her all the details of the escort as far as her descriptive. Tell your co-workers the same and explain that you fear your safety, tell them her descriptive/s and post a memo in the coffee lounge so that when she shows up at your work you can arrest her for trespassing, which is what she will do if she loses it. Tape record what she says and then you get her for slander, defamation of character and if she sends notes then tack on libel. Good luck.


Personally, I would tell my wife. But in a perfect world threesomes would be a part of the marriage contract. If not then, when shit hits the fan, I would acquire a better sense of humor.

Call me Wayne if you freak out and need to rehearse being an asshole on the phone. It takes practice, and you need to be convincing.

Helpful link
http://injury-law.freeadvice.com/libel_and_slander/

Some other notes from:
http://www.de.psu.edu/harassment/
-Know your rights.

-Speak up at the time. Be sure to say "NO" clearly, firmly and without smiling. There is a chance that the harasser does not realize the behavior is offensive; you must be firm in saying that you are offended. If you decide to file charges later, it's helpful (although not necessary) to have objected to the behavior. If you smile or act unsure of yourself, the harasser may think you're saying "Yes" instead of "No." Practice with a friend until you can say "That behavior offends me" in a way that is firm and clear.

-Keep records. Keep track of what happens in a journal or diary and keep any letters or notes or other documents or artifacts you receive. Write down the dates, times, places, and an account of what happened. Write down the names of any witnesses.

-Identify an advocate.

-Write a letter. People have successfully stopped sexual harassment by writing a letter detailing the behavior that is offensive and asking the person who is harassing them to stop the behavior. The letter should be polite, unemotional, and detailed. Such a letter seems to be more powerful than a verbal request. The recipient of the letter seldom writes back; the person usually just stops the behavior.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
by the way....I'll see you boys in a few days.


-- Modified on 3/5/2005 7:13:58 AM

Don't believe I'd hobby if I were married.  Your post reinforced that thought.

neat of you to think of posting it.  

Since I like hot foods, I've seen the stuff around. Do you know, does it actually have any flavor, or does it just burn you to death?  Which kind of pepper(s) does it have in it - habenero or something else?  Habenero is the tremendously hot one, but I don't really care for the flavor. Made jelly with them one year. The jalapeno jelly was more flavorful.

Lex Leuthor would be proud..

Strangely as a student of human behavior, there's a part of me that knows you're right on the ball and that I should have thought of that..

Smart lady.

Err.. unless you consider it your civic duty to warn us about marriage BEFORE we get married.  

I've thought I won't hobby if I'm in a committed relationship.  I would still like to think that's true.  Depends on the woman I guess.

To quote my old friend ...stupid is as stupid does...

I made substantial donations to Macy,Nordstroms and Friedmans to get back into her good graces. Even gave up my slush fund (that was hard). Now I am the pillar of the community in her eyes. Also show some remorse please.

-- Modified on 3/5/2005 6:04:24 AM

Just wait till you been marry for 10-15 years. I still enjoy having sex with my wife but I do need that spice once in awhile.

Hell, I am definitely ass backwards.  I wouldn’t hobby if I were single.

I am busted.I spend to much time on this board listening to you guys. I had to give up my girlfriend so I have plenty of time to explore other options.

Well STP, that's the way I would prefer it TOO...

What did she do, bigdaddy?  Apply lit cigarettes, candle wax, or something ELSE??

Wow wayne, are YOU ever lucky.  If something like that happened to me, I would take it as a sign that my ass just got saved, but I gotta get out of the hobby.  Guess the message is, lie to the log in bed (your wife) if you have to, but NEVER lie to or try to use a provider.  Just not a good idea.

see what i miss when im gone.  ill tell you what. i think i know who your talkin about.if so you are an ass.

i think u should be a man and keep your comitments.you broke one rule(cheat on your wife) why you got to be a dick and cheat on two women who love you?you should learnt to appreciate what u have.you obviously dont.you should thought out the consequences before you make promises you cant keep,dude.  are you a habitual liar,maybe you are.

so since youdidn t think this out i dont feel sorry for you.you lie to a sweet girl.w who put her life en hold cuz shes into u.and you pay her back by lying.you want to cheat,be honest dont you think and stop leading laidies on.

and for u people who think its funny it aint funny until ithappens to you.you want to say the girl deserves it well hope somebody doesnt take pity on your dumb mistakeseither.