I’m dying to know why some guys feel it’s necessary to negative post about the activity of people from another board. Comments like “She’s on drugs” and “ Look who’s back” are sometimes inaccurate, embarrassing for the poster (Well at least I feel embarrassed for the poster!) and down right unnecessary. Nothing positive comes from posting about a provider’s stolen face shots when it’s common knowledge she blurs her pics on her website. I remember back ) about 8 months ago), we had a lot more ladies willing to express themselves in their posts. It was quite fun, and I enjoyed the D.C board a great deal. Now it’s mostly advertisements. After Marlin’s Diary, a lot changed, I thought we all learned a lesson, apparently I was mistaken. I apologize for venting so early in the morning, but I am really interested in what others have to say on this matter.
I have noticed the board taking a slightly negative tone recently, but am not too worried about it. I think there may be several reasons for it, including:
1. TER is a great place to gather information and is therefore growing rapidly. Many of the new guys make some posting mistakes. Some of these mistakes can be hurtful, while others (such as asking for information on ladies that can easily be found with a simple search or asking for information without providing the information we need to help them) are just a nuisance. After getting snapped at a few times the new guys learn the ropes.
Part of the problem may be that guys seem to find CL first and then move here. CL is very negative, and it may take a while for guys to realize this is a different type of place.
2. It is a tense time of the year. While it is suppose to be one of the happiest times of the year it is also a very stressfull time of the year. Rather than lashing out at relatives that are driving them crazy (it can't be just me) they do a little lashing out here.
3. Some of the providers postings, which might bring up a topic but are also two paragraphs of "see how great I am" promotion can get tiring. All of us do a little self promotion, but if a few people do it continually it is not fair to people whose ads and posts get quickly moved off the screen. I have had mostly providers complain to me about this situation.
That said I think most of the postings by providers are quite welcome. Anik made a very interesting post below, which was very well received. I have found that most of the guys seem to lean towards jumping to the ladies defense and giving them the benefit of doubt, even in the very few cases where it might not be warranted.
On the positive side I have noticed a few improvements. When a lady places an ad with prices that are higher than the norm ten guys aren't slamming her and talking down to her about basic economics as they did in the past.
I realize some of the above are just excuses, and there is no excuse for hurting someone when it is not necessary. Since this is a public forum it will be hard to change, but hopefully posts like yours will make everyone think a little before they post (yes, I realize this applies to me).
The comments you are referring to have not been acceptable post and that shows from the responses. It's not to say that either one posted so to cause problems, they just didn't know this is not acceptable here. The "She's on Drugs" poster apologized and removed the original post about this person. The "look who’s back" was quickly removed by our Mod as this provider was de-listed.
The state of our board has changed. The cause isn't just limited to the Marilyns Diary days - but that appears to be a turning point. There have been other changes such as banning providers, banning members, other members leaving out of dislike for policy and the changes they see.
One thing for certain, there will always be change. If this board gets to be like CL - I'm first going to fight - and if that fight turns out to have no affect - I would probably leave also.
I'm glad 2005 is about to end and look forward to the changes in 2006 - hope they are all good..
I agree with jc on most everything he said. I feel like there was a point where the board was drifting negative, but you can see how the guys have started to speak up about the wrongs. I think we tend to let things slide if it's a one time thing, but as it gets more negative some of us either speak up, or disengage. That's what i did a while back. I didn't like the tone so I stopped checking in for a while. Now that I have been back I see some differences and some authentic, intelligent conversations going on. Of course you'll always have the guy who comments with a oneliner and sparks a few more and sidetracks the whole thread. That kind of thing happens in conversations.
We're in an anonymous community, people feel the freedom to say and do whatever they want without consequences. So we'll always have that.
...and then come back... and then leave again... and then come back again...
...usually because they can't remember from week to week whether or not they're in the state of having left or having come back...or because it's Friday and they just don't want to go home.
I thank everyone for the overwhelming positive response. I’m glad to know that there ARE others that feel the same why I do. I think it’s sad that I received more responses through BC than on the board but maybe WE can change all that.The hobby was created to be fun. Let’s remember that….
I try to go out of my way to AVOID CL. Sometimes not easy though. I always keep hearing about some crazy thing or another going on over there. When I try to find it, I can't. I suppose I have not learned how to negotiate CL. That is probably for the best, hence I have not been trying very hard...
Hurting someone by posts? Interesting topic. If I ever have anything negative to say, I try not to mention anyone by name (notable exceptions are: Lex, Jeop, slipry, bigdaddy, etc. lol). Yet, I have found that "if the shoe fits", it strikes a certain nerve. Then, the person who feels to whom it applies (whether or not it does) have posted some replies. Kinda interesting human dynamic, doncha' think?
Kinda interesting your mentioning that topic about rate discussion. I guess we can attribute a lot of that reduction to JB's leaving, along with his ten aliases...lol
To me, it seems like TER has been "taking it on the chin" a bit, lately. More and more providers seem to be offended by the detailed "kiss and tell" our rules require us to write in our reviews. As I try to tell them, the rules weren't made by the members, but rather by the owner. Yet, we seem to be dragged in through "guilt by association". Sort of a dynamic like: If you don't like the rules, why did you join, or stay?
I have noticed quite a few providers who lean solely toward that "other board" lately, since they don't require websites (in fact they offer many of the features normally in a website like galleries and ads), and the reviews aren't nearly as detailed. Real kick in the shin was when I found out that a provider I saw once no longer sees TER guys. Hence, even if I were to "convert" I would always be TER in her view. What a crazy hobby this is.
Guess so. To read what one provider wrote, one would think on a dark, wet night I am always outside her place on the street in a hooded raincoat with sunglasses. Like I would have the desire, time, or energy to bother... Sheeesh!
"And on the 17th Day the Lord looked down upon the Garden and beheld that Adam was again watching sports and that Eve was sad and discontent such that her mind and eye did wander astray. And the Lord took pity on Eve and created Lex and sent him down into the garden with his serpent that Eve might be satisfied."
Stuff is posted on from the other board because these communites are now joined together. Here is an example. People refer to each other boards. In terms of the picture of the providers, how would anyone get the face picture, unless the provider gave out her picture, seems sort of strange to me.
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