I have been following an ad from a very interesting lady and finally decided to try and contact her.  Unfortunately, her website wasn't loading so i pm'd her from here.  Then I filled out tthe introduction form on her website.  I did not hear back from her.  Maybe the way i filled out the form was a little over the top, but having heard nothing, I looked at her ad and she had an email address.  So i tried again, saying sorry if i was a little over the top.  Still no reply.  Too bad.  

In a long time in the hobby, I have contacted a large number of ladies and almost always got thru eventually.  Some I met with and some not.  Some initially said "I don't think we are a good match" but that allowed for further conversations/pms/emails and led to a visit.  

But as a small business owner myself, seems only a good practice to let someone who contacts you know that "Sorry, maybe we aren't a good match."

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I sure wouldn't want to. His post was completely off putting.

 
1. Initiates contact, in a negative way.

2. Follows that up with an apology.

3. Gets upset he can't manipulate the lady in to seeing him

But at the same time, I have had my share of providers who just don't even acknowledge the email.

I would much rather receive  "We are not a good match" email response than silence. After a while I stopped caring, and the moment I hit the send button, on initial email, I have learned not to expect anything...If I get a return email..Great !!!  

OK...Once the communication starts and I don't hear anything from her, then I will be pissed for sure.  

-- Modified on 8/19/2013 11:31:25 AM

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I don't have the emails he wrote or the form he filled out...

And perceptions can be different - vastly different. What one may perceive as fun, can be misconstrued by other as over the top.

My response was based on the OP...nothing else.

of providers not acknowledging the emails, and how ones needs to get over it and get on with their lives..

You are making this harder than it needs to be.

How was contact initiated in a negative way? "Over the top" could refer to being unnecessarily flowery, joking, or starting up some sort of roleplay scenario. Some girls respond to this, some just want the basic info. And at what point was there manipulation??

He tried several routes to contact her, and I've done the same in his shoes, it's called due diligence. Sending a PM on TER assumes she logs in daily. The website contact forms don't seem to be 100% reliable, I've had two occasions (that I know of) where a follow-up email revealed that the provider never received my info. Luckily I took the extra step otherwise I'd have felt slighted from being ignored.

And yes that shit matters. Any time I read a post "Has anyone seen this girl?" and it happens to be one I never heard back from, they'll get a PM from me explaining my experience. If I have to jump through hoops of getting provider references and handing over some personal information, at the very least I deserve a 10-second response of "No thank you".

The OP said his initial contact, he may have been over the top. Then apologizes for the possible "over the top" initial contact.

That sounds like an omission of guilt.

 
I am one who believes a "Thanks but no thanks" would be the appropriate response from a provider.

With that being said. The OP goes on to solicit the lady after receiving the bad news.

The OP can't except the "Thanks but no thanks" response.

Your posting this comment on a Monday, so for me it begs the question did you contact her over the weekend? Friday night perhaps and did not get a response yet since posting your comment this morning?  

Several things could have happened.  
1. Maybe she does not work the weekend and that would include not checking emails until Monday morning or early noon.  

2. Depending on the host provider she uses it may cause her emails to go to spam from time to time. Some providers don't think to check that. (Lesson learned)

3. Before filling out her Introduction Form did you check her tour dates on her site? Were they available? In following her ad did you look at the most recent to see if she is available in city/state?

4. God forbid, but something may have just happened in her personal life that she does not have time to check her hobby emails.  

5. We don't know the content of your introduction or email. We don't know if you send an one sentence email asking  " I want to meet you." ( Which tells me nothing and in cases like this I don't respond).  

My list can go on and on, but I will tell you IF you did contact her over the weekend she probably does not entertain anything that has to do with the hobby. Who knows maybe she's a Seventh Day Adventist (in church on Saturday) or some other religion where there in church on Sunday. Probably Saturday and Sunday for all the sinning we do during the week.  

My point,  as providers we do have a personal lives that does not require us to be in front of our computers 24/7.  

Relax! Hopefully she'll contact you. If not, do what Curly suggested, Find Another Gal!

Happy Monday!

that providing references entitles them to an appointment. Having references is just one tool that many providers use to help them make the decision on whether or not they should meet you.

One thing you must keep in mind is....no one owes you anything....

Now is it nice and respectful to receive a response of some sort? Of course it is....

But there could be a whole heap of reasons that she did not respond. None of them which should matter anyway because it won't change the outcome.  

If she doesn't respond then its best to just look at it as "her loss" and move on to the one who will respond.

 
Ms Maya's $.02

Please read the OP's message again, and then do us a favor and read it one more time. Slowly.

"The OP goes on to solicit the lady after receiving the bad news."

No, there was no bad news. There was no response at all, which is the heart of the issue he's trying to relate. He mentions other times where a negative response at least led to some dialogue. This was not the case here.

"The OP can't (sic)except the "Thanks but no thanks" response."

Incorrect. There was no response, that's the point. Clearly you missed it, yet you continue to rail against him for simply reaching out to ensure there were no technical snafu's. In fact the entire purpose behind this thread is to talk about when a provider doesn't respond, how can you have missed such a critical detail???

Also you're interpreting "over the top" to mean "aggressive and offensive". Feel free to point out which parts of his PM, website form contents, or email he should have changed. Oh you don't have access to any of those? Sounds like you're assuming the worst. I don't have any more info than you, but with his 38 reviews over 6 years, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he knows the terminology to avoid in initial contact and how not to offend her.

You've already got your mind made up, it's just a shame you based it off of the wrong information and some pessimistic assumptions.

Hi there...  

First off, I am not hung up on nor as I "waiting" for her.  That is why there is no identifying info.  She advertized as fetish friendly and I may have gone past her level of comfort in my initial, lengthy contact.  I take full ownership of that.  Bur for points 1-4... the contacts were around August 9th and 10th.  

Some one once posted about a provider I never met ebcause she communicated that she thought we weren't a good match.  I pm'd him that while I didn't see her, my contacts were very pleasant.  

My only point was that if someone takes the time to write in full if overly flowery language, a thanks but no thanks is polite.  I am not trying in any way to pressure her or make any extreme statement.  Just saying that if you ask us to fill out a form, and we do, let us know you got it and the word is yea or nay.  

I have moved on.

Thanks!

I hope it wasn't me....I always respond.., but since the beginning of time I have had issues with my website form, and now because of my website background, I don't have a form. I'm not sure why..it just wont let me put one in. But, I've always gone through email. But, my website was down recently as well..and someone contacted me through here, but I did respond..if it was me, I guess you didn't get it?

Anyway, sending you some luck.

 
xooxox~*Aerial*~

Hopefully you read her and now have some idea what may have happened

Many providers in the DC are fully booked with regulars. When a new guy comes up that once see him unless they really think the chemistry is right.  When you give our references you are giving out a lot of information than you realize. Providers back channel each other on things such as
1. How clean is the guy.
2. Is he attractive.
3. Is he rough in the bed.
4. Is his dick to big
5. Did he make you cum.
6. Good tipper.
So on.

If you are a hunk and book multiple hours you should not have problems, lmfao.

Actually, my point was that because of the vagaries or the internet, i tried 3 different modes.  The odds of not one of the tries, PM here where she is active, her website contact board and an email, seem slim.  

Whats funny is that some hobbyists are supportive or sympathetic, some not.  Some providers are sympathetic and some not.  

My only point was that i think when a hobbyist tries to make contact, its better to let him know "no thanks"

When hobbyist do reviews they mention everything listed below in there reviews:

1. If the girls was clean  - 1. How clean is the guy.  
2. If she was attractive -   2. Is he attractive.  
3. How she was in bed -    3. Is he rough in the bed.  
4. How you felt when you were inside her- 4. Is his dick to big  
5. If she made you come are not -  5. Did he make you cum.  
6. Was she worth the money you spent - 6. Good tipper.  

 
Hhhmmm, not too much of a difference from you list is it? So it's okay for hobbyist to do reviews and mention every detail that went on during a session, but it's not right for providers to provide details that should be concerning to another provider when giving a reference?  

My main concern is when giving and receiving a reference is:

1. Did you see him
2. Was he a nice gentleman
3. Any additional information you would like to give is appreciated.  

But if a gentleman is not clean. Uuuhhh, yeah I wanna know. As you would if you were going to see a provider. 2-6 is really not important to me, but wanted to do a comparison to you list of how all those things are listed in providers reviews.  

Just my opinion

I think the main reason why you all collect references is to see if the guy is clean and std free. From the intel and horror stories I have heard I don't blame you all.  

I was pointing out that the guy should not be surprised that he appointment request gets rejected due to the fact the many of the GFE providers schedules are booked because of regulars.

Among the excellent reasons you suggested, up to 20% of all emails are not delivered to recipients, not even to the SPAM folder.  I was shocked when I learned that.  The recipient has no control over it, is not aware of it, and the sender has no control over it and is not aware of it.  The ISP makes that decision. Sometimes the "mail does not go through.