You are doing everything right and a good provider would be delighted to see you.  I wouldn't ascribe it to anything other than random bad luck with two ladies.  Just move on -- there are plenty of great ladies out there!

She simply emailed me(had my phone #)to say she was leaving, hours before the appt., because she just wanted to be HOME!

that this particular provider had a history of doing this. I discovered on another board a similar story. She had responded by pleading with the hobbyist to be able "to make it up to him". That was the same response I received after I was able to get hold of her.

A status quo excuse.

Hello everyone, this is my first post!

Over the past few months, I have endured two last minute (night before / day of) cancellations from independent providers.  I am a meticulous person who prefers to plan a week or more in advance.  I am white listed and always provide multiple references for pre-screening.  I value the provider's time enough to re-confirm once by email a day or two before the actual appt.  In both cases, the providers indicated they were looking forward to the appt as well.

Then at midnight, before my 10:30 am appt this morning, I received an email with an apology and cancellation.  This has happened twice now with two different providers.  The last one was sick so I totally understand.  This new one, whom I will never name of course for her privacy, has not provided a reason why.

I wonder if this has happened to anyone else?  Is it common with independent providers to cancel at the very last minute?  I am very disappointed because my busy schedule forces me to plan ahead, and canceling so late does not leave me time to make alternate plans at all.

I am a nice guy who tries hard to follow every rule.  I am worried that my approach may be "too-polite", may be even scaring off providers?  

Providers and clients alike, please feel free to weigh in.  The purpose of this post is not to stir up problems, just trying to understand why I seem to have bad luck lately.

Life happens - if the provider contacted you more then 10 hours before the appointment, that is not considered last minute in my book.  I would appreciate the heads up so I could make other plans and not have my time wasted on a No Call No Show.

Being a nice guy has nothing to do with it - reschedule or move on.  

Wow, if that was the reason given, better off not giving one at all then!

On my cancellation email, she asked if I would be able to reschedule.  I emailed back right away to ask what her availability was.  It is now past 3pm and no response since midnight last night.  I also know she has a Blackberry.  

In my email, I let her know that I was leaving town Wednesday afternoon so if she is sincere about rescheduling and possibly making up for the sudden cancellation, I expected some type of response email.  If no, then that is fine.  Not responding at all is not being courteous in my opinion.

That is the real reason for my post.  I understand that life happens but why ask me to reschedule then ignore me?  I just don't like playing games.  I don't want to offend by likening the provider-client relationship to a purely business arrangement, but if this was the case, appointments are taken seriously in the business world.  And when appointments are canceled, I think a reasonable explanation should be offered simply out of courtesy.

Otherwise, I am left guessing as to why she canceled.  Was it really a case of "life happened?"  Or did I fail the screening for some reason?

To providers who read this, I totally understand if you have to cancel, even last minute.  But please provide a reason why, even a fake one.  I, for one, would really appreciate the gesture.

Yes, i agree that normally, 10 hours is adequate notice of cancellation.  However, in my case, I made the appt over a week ago.  I received the cancellation email at midnight.  My appt was the following morning at 10:30 am.  Any client would know that even if I saw the cancellation email (which I was not looking out for) at midnight, it would be a real stretch to contact another provider, independent or agency, get verified, and scheduled for the same window the next morning.

Plus, I did not even warrant an explanation of any kind.  Sure, life happens, but at least have the courtesy of making up some excuse.  

BTW, I tried to reschedule as she requested, but so far, have not received any reply.

Final thought:  Though I have only sought out independents before, perhaps agencies would be less likely to treat new clients in such a manner.  At least, if I had a sudden cancellation, they may keep communications open and try to reschedule, make things right.  To be ignored is like the worst feeling.

Why do you need to know why she canceled?  Maybe it is personal and she doesn't want the community to know about it.  What if her period hit, or child became sick - what does it really matter to you.  Why is it so important to you that you need to seek an explanation.

She communicated to you that she couldn't make the appointment.  Now you need to give her a reasonable period of time to try and reschedule.  To me that would be a few days to get back into contact with you.  You have communicated to her that your leaving town by a certain date - give her a chance and don't stalk her.

You can also schedule and appointment with any number of women in the area that fit into your schedule.  

I seriously hope everything works out for you, enjoy the day.    

Due to being younger than I am now and really not giving a f#ck  But I grew up and realized people should NOT be treated like that!!  Was the girl young? Under 25?  Sometimes maturity issues are a factor
Now that I am older I make sure I treat people the way I want to be treated!  Its only fair!  Sorry that happen to you!  Better luck next time!!

Actually I got stood up today from a very well known and reputable agency. I called them from the parking lot to let them know I was there and the scheduler told me the provider was not available. No explanation and no apologies.

Got an email earlier and was able to reschedule!  She apologized again and we were able to find a time to meet, very happy now.

To Jake, I think we will agree to disagree about the lack of explanation given.  I personally think it is I'll mannered to cancel without any stated reason.  If I was in her shoes, I would make something up.  Just saying.

No, she is older than 25.  I think this was an anomaly.  She was able to reschedule and I am happy now.

It was me who canceled. I had a family emergency. I try to limit my lying so I gave no reason instead of a fake one.

Quite honestly, its no ones business why I canceled. Just know that I will not be there.

I am over 25, I do care, and contrary to your wildly incorrect assumptions I do treat people as I would like to be treated. After all, I did cancel.

Are you looking for a "good guy badge"? Really?

Colette

I am totally agreed with you. It happens to me last month, she emailed me day before around 10:00 PM to cancel the appointment and hope to see me again when she returns.  Then she posted on this board that she is coming back. I sent her email for reschedule our appointment more than a week in advance and follow-up email with my schedule changed few days before her arrival. But I never got any response from her. I do not go see any one at the last moment. I always research and then make my selection. I don’t want my hard earn money just wasted, this I learned after few bad experience before I joined this board.
And I would like to agree to your remark-
"And when appointments are canceled, I think a reasonable explanation should be offered simply out of courtesy. Otherwise, I am left guessing as to why she canceled. Was it really a case of "life happened?" Or did I fail the screening for some reason? To providers who read this, I totally understand if you have to cancel, even last minute. But please provide a reason why, even a fake one. I, for one, would really appreciate the gesture."

My apologies Colette.

I now feel very bad about this whole thing, let alone awkward.  Looking back, it was not fair for me to make assumptions about the cancelation and yes, you do not owe me an explanation at all.  My posting was done out of frustration as I was selfishly soliciting sympathy for what happened.

I hope your family is ok.

had to cancel on 2 different occasions due to injury and sickness.  I know it was legit.  I also had another provider cancel and subsequently retire less than a week later so maybe she was done with the business.  In short, it happens but not often.

I guess I'm with Jake on this one.  Why is a "made up" story better than no story at all?  One lady in Boston has NCNS'd so many guys that it's impacted her family's health: they've all died off as a result (her father died, two or three aunts have died, she has car trouble, "personal" issues, etc., etc.).

If a lady has to cancel, she has to cancel.  It happens, and it happens for a host of reasons, most of which are none of our business.

I agree that a cancellation at that late hour (with only 10 hours of night-time to change your game) is almost the same as "last-minute", and quite off-putting.  Like you, I tend to schedule WAY out ahead, and it's a bummer when things don't work out.

I'm glad it worked out for you, and I hope you have the time of your life with this lady.

Kind of late to the party on this one. Colette certainly doesn't need help on this one, but I just had to add my two cents. I've been with her since she started. She has canceled on me twice at the last min.
She told my why and I never doubted her. The worst part was not being able to see her. She is a class act and always treats me wonderfully on the bed and off.

1. A lot of girls have to cancel last minute bc the client before you was a jerk or did something to upset her/cause her pain. Its a courtesy to cancel the next appt after the jerk bc you want to be in the best mood for them. I always want to be the best I can be for my appts, so if i had a bad appt than I probably wouldn't want to see someone after that, because I would be giving them less than the best. The best thing you can give another person is the best of yourself. Also, it wouldn't be fun for the client to see a provider when they're upset.
2. I think its kind of retarded to complain about canceling 10 hours in advance. Its not like their aren't other girls to see. This is the DC metro area....come on. Life happens and getting upset over something so petty is just silly. Everyone should just have fun and be pleasant to one another. I've been seeing the dumbest posts on here recently- even me responding to this silly post is just dumb- I would like to see people write something nice and happy for a change instead of complaint after complaint. Tell me a joke, post a funny video, talk about how great a girl or agency is, whatever. Come on people-- Life is short.