...because the guys give bad references!
SERIOUSLY GUYS!!! Do you think we don't check them out? Do you not check to see if the girl's email is still good before giving them out?
I had FIVE different potential clients give me faulty information for reference in ONE day. Each one gave me two providers that had emails that bounced because they were no longer working.
I don't necessarily need reference, there are other ways to verify who you are. But, in each of these case they won't or couldn't give me anything more to go on.
I'm sorry, but I don't want to get arrested, hurt/killed, or ripped off.
JK:
Not to be taken as being insensitive and from a human behavioral science prospective, "Yea so ?" Why is this such a surprise ?
Yes, I respect and understand your vent.
Now please understand, your outcome is governed by the Lee's law of validated behavior:
"Human beings usually only invest in behaviors which have been repeatedly validated and yield a reward 50% of the time or greater."
Ergo those gentlemen DID think you wouldn't bother, were willing to take the crap shoot because in their mind it was worth the potential return. In addition, the providers as a regional market have taught the clients as regional consumers, such behavior can pay off in a statistically significant way.
When you take all this into account and factor it into your eventual outcomes, well.....
Welcome to DC honey.
DISCLAIMER
The ideas and concepts expressed where intended to be presented in terms of generality to better represent the aggregate behavior of two specific groups of people. It in no way is an attempt to label any specific individual, person, hobbyist or Provider personal practices or choices. Your mileage may vary, not a valid comparison in all markets, social classes or price points. Please read responsibly and not responsible for any misunderstandings or misinterpretations which may occur.
Sincerely,
Lee Dreams
comede, bibe, gaude
I am "Sad" that you were forced to waste so much time. I detest those that waste my time. It's a precious commodity. Don't be presumptive in its use. I am "Glad" for two reasons. 1) You held to you standards by not compromising. That helps make our little endeavor that much more safe. 2) it makes those of us who play the game politely and correctly stand out that much more positively.
In the end, you will be rewarded for your diligence. I do wish you well in DC.
I'm not sure I'd past the test- my ATF, who I saw almost exclusively for a couple of years, is out of the loop, and I'm not sure if I'm memorable enough for others- with that said, I totally understand why providers require references...I mean, hobbyists check for reviews and word of mouth before we put ourselves out there, so turnabout is fair play
Posted By: kayakid
I am "Sad" that you were forced to waste so much time. I detest those that waste my time. It's a precious commodity. Don't be presumptive in its use. I am "Glad" for two reasons. 1) You held to you standards by not compromising. That helps make our little endeavor that much more safe. 2) it makes those of us who play the game politely and correctly stand out that much more positively.
In the end, you will be rewarded for your diligence. I do wish you well in DC.
*Like* 
Posted By: kayakid
I am "Sad" that you were forced to waste so much time. I detest those that waste my time. It's a precious commodity. Don't be presumptive in its use. I am "Glad" for two reasons. 1) You held to you standards by not compromising. That helps make our little endeavor that much more safe. 2) it makes those of us who play the game politely and correctly stand out that much more positively.
In the end, you will be rewarded for your diligence. I do wish you well in DC.
assessment, I must asmit it never occurred to me to verify the currency of e-mail addresses for references before I give them to a new (to me) provider. I always use 1 or 2 of 4 or 5 providers I've seen multiple times & who are quite active, but it's a very good point.
For the money you charge sweetheart you sure do not have to worry about me doing that to you!!!
....they should: 1. make sure she actually is reference friendly (many are not or are crazy slow to repsond that it's almost pointless), 2. see that her email/contact info is actually still good 3. that she is aware she is getting used as a reference (makes some more likely to respond quicker if they are expecting it).
8k in 1wk .... ouchie.
-- Modified on 1/20/2013 6:39:58 PM
We're supposed to do all these things for EVERY reference every time we visit a lady? What a bookkeeping nightmare that would be. Many ladies are changing their numbers or emails regularly. Ladies come and go. Sometimes just contacting them once to make an appnt is difficult. Welcome to our world, ladies: Trying to contact providers.
Posted By: TrulyMsMocha
....they should: 1. make sure she actually is reference friendly (many are not or are crazy slow to repsond that it's almost pointless), 2. see that her email/contact info is actually still good 3. that she is aware she is getting used as a reference (makes some more likely to respond quicker if they are expecting it).
8k in 1wk .... ouchie.
-- Modified on 1/20/2013 6:39:58 PM
....who the audience is for these kinds of threads? Do you think the guys who don't give enough info are the same guys who come here? Really?
Really. Do a search of this forum for the author "WhatHappenHere" to see an example.
make a comment worth discussing.
I have seen this too many times over. I always check them out. Before I reach out to the ladies, I make sure they are active and legit too.
You should know there is an Asian dude in the DC area doing just this very thing. He sends multiple references then makes 3 hour appointments. He leaves an empty envelope or an enveloped full of singles behind. You did yourself a favor by sticking to your screening process and making sure the gents were legit.
So you may have turned down $8k. But like you said, you saved yourself a lot of hassle, from being robbed, arrested, and from possible harm too. Good for you!
Thanks for the intel. I saw a lady 2 weeks ago, in between rounds she counted the money and gave me a nice kiss for paying her. I got the impression that guys have played a lot of tricks on her not paying up front.
I didn't get bad addresses (well, actually there was one that just wasn't the updated one) but, I'm pretty clear on my website what I need and what I'm about, and they either just don't read it and then send me references that I wouldn't consider to be sufficient ,they don't have enough references or they're from over a year or two ago or yeah...they can't give other info.
In the past two weeks, I've probably turned down 8 potentials and seen no one the whole time. Not been feeling well either, but would have possibly scheduled for future.
Posted By: DateJessicaK
...because the guys give bad references!
SERIOUSLY GUYS!!! Do you think we don't check them out? Do you not check to see if the girl's email is still good before giving them out?
I had FIVE different potential clients give me faulty information for reference in ONE day. Each one gave me two providers that had emails that bounced because they were no longer working.
I don't necessarily need reference, there are other ways to verify who you are. But, in each of these case they won't or couldn't give me anything more to go on.
I'm sorry, but I don't want to get arrested, hurt/killed, or ripped off.
no disrespect to your process/protocol/procedures that is yours, but have in mind that the info we provide is our choice. Due to many reasons we here in DC are limited to provide less than sufficient information. Long ago that was not the case, these days it is.
Many of providers we used to see have changed emails or retired others just refuse to provide references. Services like PF411 and others ask way too many questions.
I know its your rule and that is 100% fine.. but also understand the reasons behind why this market might not be as attractive as it used to be.
Yes you do. However, generally *most* ladies state their requirements on their website. So, if the choice is made to not take the time to find out what is expected before contacting them, then this is where I believe the subject was being brought up? So, these gentleman should have known if they had the requirements or not before ever contacting her (or anyone )
Posted By: \LetsMakeADeal/
no disrespect to your process/protocol/procedures that is yours, but have in mind that the info we provide is our choice. Due to many reasons we here in DC are limited to provide less than sufficient information. Long ago that was not the case, these days it is.
Many of providers we used to see have changed emails or retired others just refuse to provide references. Services like PF411 and others ask way too many questions.
I know its your rule and that is 100% fine.. but also understand the reasons behind why this market might not be as attractive as it used to be.
because I have been a very satisfied P411 member for a long time and I never gave them personal data. They took a number of references from ladies who are members, and after checking with them (I do know they contacted all of them specifically about me) that was all.
If P411 asks too many questions, I suspect you may have issues with seeing a number of ladies. But even so, why the angry face on your post?
Was my gain.
I commend Jessica & others for throughly checking references and being safe. It makes it that much nicer for those of us who appreciate time with beautiful, educated ladies.
I have had two ladies contact me for a reference within a week for the same man and I have neither met nor heard of him. It is a bit disturbing to say the least.
Everyone needs to play it safe no matter what form of screening you use, all the $$$ in the world isn't worth the danger.
