As some of you know, I recenlty met a great, fantastic, lady outside of the hobby. I am considering going on sabbatical from the hobby if things work out with her. We are still in the early stages = trying to figure out what we have. My ethical delimna is: I promised God that I would stop hobbying if and when I had a girlfriend. I had planned to meet a visiting provider before I met my new friend and today is when I am to see this provider. Is this considered renigging on my promise, or cheating? I do not want to jinx my chances? No doubt, some of you hard-core purest will have colorful responses but you do not understand how long I have waited for someone of my friend's caliber.
I hate to say it but I think, regardless of if you have a gf or not you will still continue to hobby. You may find yourself taking a little break but I'm sure you will be back like the rest of us. Men are just programmed differently and we will always continue to look for 'strange', but good luck to ya.
I had almost the same thing happen a few months ago. I had met a civie and had not had sex with her. In the mean time, I had met a pretty wild woman from a swingers site and had made plans to go see her. We would have had some pretty wild sex. I had made a promise to myself, if I would have sex with the 1st girl, I would not stay in the swinging world. Well, the weekend before I was supposed to meet the wild swinger, I ended up sleeping with the 1st woman. I kept my promise to myself and didn't see the other woman. Still not sure if I made the right choice, but I was true to myself.
BTW, still seeing the 1st girl, but the sex could be better
This is a great position to be in. Keep in mind that the hobby will be here should things not work out with your special friend. Sure, sex with a 24 year old hottie is great. Then again, it is no substitute for a healthy and loving relationship. I say give the new woman in your life your chance.
Now on to your promise you made to God. It seems as if you got the opportunity to prove to him that you are a man of your word. You found someone special and apparently you want it to work out. It is time to hold up your end of the deal. You know as well as I that your special lady is not going to dig you hobbying. Not only that, but it is not fair to her that you will be spending energy, time and money on someone else. If you do develop a healthy relationship with her and you continue to hobby. Well, it would sound like a having your cake and eating it too scenario. Only worse you will have your cake and her cake too. At 38 years old I know these things eventually backfire.
I took a sabbatical from the hobby a few months ago. I even treated myself to a session with the Bella of the Dance Emma Anderson (as I call her) as my retirement gift. YUMMMMM FLASHBACK . Unfortunately, the girl that I started to date had some serious issues (like a husband) that her sweetness and hotness just could not overcome.
In closing I just say have faith in your new girl tht the relationship will go to the next level. Have faith in your word, the word you gave God when you found a girlfreind. And have faith that should not things work out that LE is not going to shut down the world's oldest profession.
Now I have to go prepare a sermon for tomorrow. HAHAH
Look, God is supposed to be forgiving, for those who are believers. The only operant issue: Will you have any significant guilt afterwards. [Also: Don't get caught!]
Dude, I guarantee you that if things last between you and you form some kind of bond, it will come up someday. And I promise you it won't be something that you'll be able to surmount.
Your promise to God is kind of irrelevant. He doesn't make deals. But if you're serious about this girl then it will come up someday. And she won't get over it. I guarantee it.
I only started seeing other women six months after I told my wife it was over. And the day after I saw this woman my wife asked about it, I told her, and she threw me out. My point is - be honest.
Unfortunately, she's going to find out someday. This kind of behavior, and there's nothing wrong with it so long as you're honest with yourself and others, won't be tolerated by women seeking a relationship.
Either keep your promise(without contingencies)or hobby. Yes God is forgiving but he is also JUST. Make up your mind who exactly who you will follow; God or Mammon.
There may be a misunderstanding here. He promised to quit hobbying if he found a GF. No deal was struck with God. If anything he made a deal with himself.
an anthropomorphic god who cares about let alone takes notice of such things is a self manufactured abstraction resulting from an evolutionarily hard wired adaption.
You took my comment out of context. Please quit trying to play Mr. smartass athiest. This is not a discussion about wether there is a God or not. This is about a dude who is considering taking some time off from hobbying to give a traditional relationship a try.
If he can find a healthy woman to have a mutually gratifying relationship with then I am happy for him.
By the way some of us have faith in God, regardless what Wikipedia says. Please show just a little courtesey by respecting the beliefs of other people.
God can support any and all attributes: i.e. is not intelligible or characterizable in any way.
but the fact that the Divine It supports evolutionary hard wired defects also implies It supports the overcoming of those defective patterns of thought. that which is not intelligible and not conditioned supports becoming unconditioned by defective thought.
a speculation: we have 2 genders and a 2 valued logic based on opposites. would a different species with a number of genders = N have a different logic based on N values and a concept of Divine It based on the union of N-posites?
of course one could just chuck the idea of some sort of basis of reality out the window as defective entirely... but reality seems to hang together well enough with all its clashes.
well enough... i risk being late for the lady du jour.....
we are all sex addicts or we wouldn't be here. I guarantee that you will get that impulsive urge and see a provider, no matter who your love of your life is.
Maybe a bit late, but here's my take: If you go back to rules of hobbying 101, you don't have an obligation to the provider. That's why we pay for it. As long as you give sufficient notice, you're OK and it doesn't hurt their feelings. As for the girlfriend, you obviously have some ambivalence about where this is going. I can't speak to promises to God, but would say don't seem too desperate or anxious. I know it sounds like advice to a teenager, but always appropriate. If you come in with confidence that she needs to win you over, rather than the contrary, that's a plus. It may not be a direct answer to you question but I think you can figure out the best answer.
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. Unfortunately, the girl that I started to date had some serious issues (like a husband) that her sweetness and hotness just could not overcome. 