Here is my weekly attempt to provoke some thought and discussion about this great hobby of ours I read a lot of reviews, to help me make smart decisions about seeing a girl. There are so many repeated phrases/cliches used in reviews. What are your favorites?

I like "we made out like 16 year olds."

Why does no one ever say we made out like adults? I was much better at "making out" at 26 than I was at 16. At 16 I was fumbling with the bra enclosure while hoping I did not finish in 45 seconds.

Your thoughts?

When a reviewer writes "treat her right fellas" or anything similar.  I think that is so corny.  It's like they really care so much about the provider's well-being that they have some vested interest in how other strangers treat each other.  I think we all know our roles as hookers and johns.  

"Treating her right" is so sensical that it isn't even worth mentioning.  Any guy who writes that is so full of himself that he needs to bring attention to just what a gentleman he is.  White knight assholes.

... to communicate an experience. When something cannot be easily quantified (describing what can be actually seen, heard, tasted, touched, smelled and then measured in some way) we usually have to rely on analogy and metaphor/images to mediate to others what was experienced--at least I think that to be the case. With respect to your specific example, my guess is that the folks using this specific analogy have in mind the wild and highly charged experience that they had as a teenager or think teenagers have when they have a passionate encounter, when all rationality is relinquished and all a guy's brains are in the head of his dick at this moment.  I think the problem you may be pointing out is that this one ("we made out like 16 year olds") may be overused and possibly lost meaningfulness.  Would tend to agree, but not sure I have a better one to offer.  My two cents.

The thing I hate is YMMV.

When I read a review, I am reading YOUR opinion.  I'm not some feeble old fart incapable of understanding that we all appreciate things a bit differently.

I mean if you say a girl's performance is an 8 but YMMV...then I'm gonna get a 4 and you really didn't help me any.  If you think the young lady is an 8 say she's an 8 and stand firm on that.
__________

The other issue I have is guys tooting their own horn.  I come to TER to read valuable info on a woman to help me decide  or appreciate.  A guy throwing in a self-gratifying comment about his raging cock or him leaving her satisfied
is not my interest.  95% of the time your evaluation of
yourself is outlandishly too flattering and...frankly...I don't
give a fuck abouy YOU.  I want to know about HER!  Save your ego stroking for yourself.

My use of "we made out like 16 Year olds" is to protray mostly the single-tasking of just kissing...

When I was 16, and a virgin, "Making out" was very sexually charged... Now it isn't so much as a prelude to more interesting "sexually charged" events...

So when a woman takes kissing to a sexually charged moment, it puts me back to when I was 16 and I felt my body excite to the touch of a womans lips...

I do kiss better now than I did when I was 16, but then again was my first car an R8?

How many guys have actually read the GUIDELINES FOR SUBMITTING A REVIEW before simply pressing AGREE?
Numbers 2, 7, and 10 I find make the purpose and intent of reviews in principle very clear to me.

Thanks.

hahaha! I wish I could find it, but there is a reviewer in NYC that has about 10 reviews. In 100% of those 10, he mentions how big he is and how the girl commented on it, as well as the girl barely being able to take it all. Sex always started after he put on a "Magnum XXL," not just a regular condom like most of America does.

Maybe covered full service with him would be MXXLFS?  

Exactly what purpose does it serve that he is telling us he is packing? I always thought if its big, you don't need to talk about it. More talk=small sausage.

Lol. News flash with rare exceptions they fake it!

"We kissed like long lost lovers."

I love the gents that try and start out by making it read like a romance novel, but finish talking about "throat fucking her until I covered her face in splooge."

TER should offer a writing class; if not, Amator writes a damn good review and may be able to give some pointers.

Hey now!

I know I have said atleast the part about "We kissed like long lost lovers"  of the providers I have said that about, they (IMHO) are truely an artform in what they offer...

Im not a "Throat fucking" kinda guy, so I just go with the flow when a BBBJ or CBJ comes up...

But I hear you, There are a few reviewers that I only read... I am sure others follow the same pattern... if they provider has more than on full page of reviews chances are if i'm lookin at her I know Mr. Blue, Mr Red, ANd maybe Mr. Purple are lookin as well or have reviewed her...

I have been told in BC messages that my reviews helped people decide and I have also had people say I was full of bullshit... (Mostly a 10 to 1 ratio good to bad)

At the end of they day I have discovered, its how you enter the room, introduce yourself, and play by the rules that makes it an enjoyable experiance...

Agreed

If you read my reviews I kinda talk about this...  there isn't anything we can actually "DO" to induce an "O" or 'o' (For any woman for that matter) unless she wants to have one... not the size of the rise, the skill of your tongue / fingers, or the power of the blue pill... it won't matter if she doesn't want to have one, and or you haven't established the proper trust for her to let go...

I have even told providers, no need to fake it, I know it prob won't happen, but its ok... I am just here to enjoy myself, if you do, awesome, if not, no worries

my 2 cents

hahahaha yea I love that one... her legs couldn't stop shaking... it always brings a smile to my face and then I cough and say Bullshit...

Is just plain stupid. I used it once. Right up there with "treat her right." Let's face it: a lot of our reviews are redundant bs, mine included. Amator should start a new career editing, proofing and generally teaching others how to write.

Sorry but this is valuable info for me.  Fake or not, it's part of the "fantasy" that I'm paying for.  I don't want a provider who can't / won't hit her 'o'...

that phrase should be banned.lol

It is ridiculous.We all know if we didn't there wouldn't be such a thing as P4P.

Reviewer Bigdickredz (18-Jun-2011)
Email XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Details: I got a chance to see her b4 I went to work n I got some mornin head n damm she sucked the hell out of my dick... All I remember her sayin is damm u got a big dick.... Gotta see her again

Excerpt from MS PERSIAS PALACE.COM/REVIEWS
~Ms Persia Diamond~

I care an INFINITE amount more about a lady who has just fulfilled my sexual fantasies then I do about any anonymous guy on TER who has read a review of my fulfilled fantasy and for whatever reason does not like my description of the events.

Treat the ladies right guys and you may not be so UPTIGHT about how various reviews are written either.
LOL

Looks like we had the same idea about the same time Juniperbean lol.

2 I like.

1 goes something like "when I first arrived and called, she said she needed about 10 minutes to freshen up" - translation the guy she's with before him still hasn't cum yet.

2 this one goes something like "if I wasn't already taken, I'd make her my wife" - translation the provider is thinking "I'm glad I'm not that guy's wife."

...can be very helpful.  It should convey that the reviewer believes that the provider may not be consistent in performing that specific service or acting in a certain way.  PROVIDED that the context of the review supports it, YMMV is a good short hand way to express that belief.  I had the experience of seeing a provider whose profile said CBJ and quite a few reviews supported that.  When I showed up, I made a special effort and we had exceptionally good chemistry.  She gave me a BBBJ.  I felt YMMV was quite appropriate there because she might well revert to CBJ unless you made some special effort and/or the chemistry was particularly good.

Now if the review is just a simple accounting of moving through the menu concluding with YMMV, then I agree with Michigan.

This is usually inserted at about the 30 minute mark of the session when actual fucking starts.  If that's the only fun your having, I suggest you book your next date with Rosey Palm, because you're sure wasting a lot of time and money.  I realize for some it's only about fucking, but I enjoy my dates from several days before until several days after.  I very much enjoy meeting a new woman, getting to know her a little, and making out as the excitement builds.  The "then the fun began" comment tells me the reviewer is so one-dimensional that he is probably unable to pick up on many of the nuances that greatly enhance my enjoyment of the hobby.  That makes his review much less useful to me.