I thought this question would be interesting. So to all you hobbyists out there who are married or in a  relationship, I want to hear your reason?

In my case (I am currently dating someone), I just love ass. I still love my GF but frankly speaking my love of women's butts exceeds my love for her. Sorry honey

What's your reason? Answers using an alias are encouraged in this case.

It's a marriage psychology thingy...

The wife is actually attractive and enjoys sex, but with her being bitchy I am just not interested in making it happen

Wish I had a better excuse because like another poster my wife hasn't let herself go one bit and she does enjoy sex. I see an attractive lady posting on this board that strikes a cord and I can't resist. Most don't strike that cord I have to say, but for those that do....

I think for most of us it's simply that we like sex & hot ladies & variety, and mostly believe that it's relatively harmless fun.  Yeah, there's all those arguments that you could be spending the money on your GF/SO etc., but if it's my money & she's not hurting for anything then where's the harm?

and because "monogamy" is a farce, perpetrated by western monotheistic and therefor hierarchical and patriarchal culture.

Monogamy is entirely contradictory to evolution. It is simply not the way human beings are "wired".

Monogamy serves the needs of men in a patriarchal culture who want a sure line of succession - ie to think they really know who their children are lol.

It serves the "needs" of women only in that in such a society a woman had no standing or self sufficiency and thus acquiring and keeping a "husband" (primitively, a man who OWNS land and chattel a la the 10th commandment) is necessary for social and economic survival.

I am grateful that I am not afflicted with the dominant western superstitions.

Therefor I hobby happily and without guilt.

-- Modified on 3/12/2010 4:50:28 AM

Wife refused my advances too many times and too consistently.  Stopped trying in April of 2007.  I will not make advances on a woman that does not want me.

No alias needed.  Why do I see providers even though I am very happily married?  It's the same reason I don't have the same thing for breakfast, lunch, or dinner every day.  I like some variety.  Plus, and I'm fortunate here, it's not an issue.  It's a simple business transaction.

I like the variety. All shapes and sizes and personalities. It's a new adventure every time. Besides the fact I just luv women in general.

I, too, got the Heisman one too many times.  However, my last attempt was last July.  She is HOT but definitely not a machine in bed.  My confusion was that she cums quicker than me and more often. Says sex is better now than when we first met!

Point is, why the FUCK doesn't she FUCK my brains out all the time?

Oh well, who cares?  I've mentally checked out of the sexual part of our relationship and now we have an Alice and Mr. Brady (if he wasn't gay!) relationship where she takes care of the house, the kids, etc. and I make the money.

Sucks, but we've got to do what we've got to do.

one word LUST...

Not her fault, not my fault, just the way it is. She had health issues, and there is nobody to blame. I actually went the first 3-1/2 years with nothing at all, then I took my dick out for a night on the town, and here I am.

I do not think there is any better than the ones that have been given. VaRider and Yoko58 are right on time.

I agree with your views on evolution and monogamy and I believe that men have hard wiring that encourages us to have multiple partners.....we are different from most animals  in that we have the ability to "override" our wiring.  This is one of the few things that makes us different.

So let's be honest, the reason married men hobby is not due to hard wiring.  Hard wiring is what entices you to consider joining the hobby.  The reason that some pull the trigger and some don't is due to individual circumstances....

For me it's my wife's lack of interest in being intimate with me.  Her needs for me are nearly non-exsistant.  If the situation was different and I could be with her anytime, I probably wouldn't hobby.

and always have been.  So, at my age, hobbying satisfies my need.

... actually rather monogamous. Meaning that if I find a provider who I like and who seems to appreciate me, and she is not too popular/busy - I'll be repeating many times before moving on.

I married long ago and not for sex. (A sound thing to do, but it has the potential to cause issues when you hit mid life, as I have learned...). There were some relatively recent issues with my SO that have made me feel much less committed and obligated in any way. The kid is in his twenties already, and I remain the bread winner for both, plus her mother...

So I now know it is possible for me to have a woman who will be ENOUGH. Until I meet one, I guess I'll be hobbying

I want to.   I absolutely adore women. But I do have boundaries.  I know this is male rationalzation, and would not expect a spouse to accept it, but the fact is, I have never had a civi affair.  That is a line I have not crossed.

Makes being out of town for business a whole lot more fun.

which I figured would be more harmful to a marriage and not fair to involve the civilian.

More than 20 years of sex 2-3 times a year.  Five of those years the number was ZERO.  I was loyal the whole time.  Got to the point (kids grown) of either trying to "out source" it and perhaps save the marriage --- or divorce.

For me it is not about variety, or something new, or that my wife is too old and too heavy to interest me.  It sure as hell is not the "conquest" because all you need is $$$.  It is simply nice to have sex at times.

Just because someone is married, does not mean they aren't sexually alone.

Sex life at home is great.  Wife,  who's pushing 40, still makes women half her age second guess their confidence when she enters a room.  That said, I'd rather get $300-$400 out the ATM than get caught bending over one of her best friends and have to  write a check for a whole lot more.  

It would probably be a good idea for all women to read the above posts.  I agree with all of them - they are the reasons I hobby.

Since beginning this change in her life, my wife has absolutely no physical desire for sex. So instead of the Ashley Madison have an affair route, I chose to keep it simple with a professional provider. A simple business transaction with a beautiful woman and no worries about other spouses or other baggage that comes with that type of arrangement.

I'd like to make some excuse to "justify" why I do it but I can't. I'm happily married with no kids. My wife has let herself go a bit and i'm not in the mood to have sex with her very often. I look young for my age which has been a curse in the women dept until about the last few years. I've found that younger women are attracted to me more now than ever before in my life.  I don't want an outside relationship but desire having sex with the younger women that I never could never have when I was younger.   I started in the hobby only back in May and it has for the most part been awesome!  My sexual relationship with my wife has also improved.  I'm going to slow down for financial reasons but don't plan on stopping. I'm the last person in the world that would be suspected of doing this!  Soo out of character for me.

+1, went w/o for way too long to feel guilty about it now; just keep it way UTR.

When I was married I hobbied. Why? NO sex at home. Since then and I have been hobbying long before TER when I am in a relationship I don't go there. You can tell if you don't see me post for months or longer on the board I am with someone. For the most part I don't believe in cheating. Been on the wrong side of that and hate it. I say for the most part because I did do it while married, but no more!

How about when i was bartending making 2g's a week then I got you prego and spent every $$$ babying up our home and after we lost her you broke up w/me and kept everything. Now you have my job and I still hate u.  
Unless if they are swingers it never works...I bartending slept w/over 20 servers and 30 or so regulars you just have to realize that it's about you but not tonight.

Well said Stasio (Stan). It's getting to that point for me, and I can see the hips swelling. With the writing already on the wall, it's play, or play with yourself.....

Got married way to young. Married my best friend. She's a great mother and a good wife. She is a lousy lover...never was good (should have known back then).

I picked up the hobby in order to keep from going ape shit in the marriage.

Cheers,
Skydiver

So many guys with the same reason. That the wife puts an end to the advances. I made the mistake of getting married once. The marriage lasted 11 years but for the last 4 years we never had sex. I was young and stupid. Not that it is a good thing but it is comforting to know that I was not alone.

If you look at this hobby from an objective point of view. This comes to mind. That these girls (GOD BLESS THEM) have saved plenty of marriages and kept more families intact by doing what they do.

Well, strictly speaking, the selection will favor men/males whose progeny *survives to reproductive age*. If a baby gets born but him/herself doesn't reproduce, that won't do it for that Evolution thing. So, it's a bit more complicated than simply rewarding promiscuity.

Less of an issue in primates, though, because hurting others' young in primates troops is not very common.

It is interesting how one thing hasn't apparently remained hard wired: the typical primate preference for a MILF over PYT. In a typical primate troop, the most desirable females are those who have raised more than one child already to survive, better a good number of them. These would be those with whom the alpha and other high ranking males will mate during the peak of their estrus. Low ranking males, on the other hand, will be left with no choice other than screwing the really young, unproven, females - what we would call PYTs?..

-- Modified on 3/13/2010 2:47:21 PM