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Re: A thoughtful response
dcpoorboy 7 Reviews 1382 reads
posted
1 / 24
the race board?

I’d love to retire the race issue for a while. Especially since when it comes up, it always seems to devolve into some kind of shitfest amateur hour, open mic night at the Lester Maddox Center. But since that’s not going to happen, I’m hoping we can go about it a little differently.
 
This is practical advice, not a plea for sympathy. If you’re tired of hearing about “No Blacks” and race, one good thing you can do is be quiet. I’m not saying that angrily. But if you say you’re tired of hornets, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to go around kicking hornets’ nests. If a guy’s just had his skin abraded (to say the least), rubbing it with some 50 grit “Get Over It” sandpaper is not going to quiet things down. Roll your eyes. Grit your teeth. Kick your dog if you have to. But click the back button.

But just be quiet and it will go away that much faster.

For those of you who want to understand what the big deal is or where we’re coming from, let me say one thing to you:

“No Jews.”

Be honest, what did you feel when you read that? A little disgusted? A little queasy? Even if you’re not Jewish, did you feel something in the pit of your stomach? Something ugly?
 
When you see something like that, do you laugh “Oh, she’s just afraid a Jewish man will haggle her to death” or “She’s just afraid a Jewish man will kvetch through the whole session?” Or do you think “She thinks there’s something foul about Jewishness she wants no part of?”

Would you tell a Jewish man “get over it” if he vented about that?  

So why is it so ok and just “preference” when a woman says “No Blacks?”

This isn’t about my fragile ego or my hurt feelings or my blue balls or anything like that because I have zero interest in making some bigot come or giving her my hard-earned money. It’s bigger than that.

When we defend this bullshit as “preference,” all we’re doing is normalizing bigotry.

If we convince each other this is acceptable, the line for what’s unacceptable moves further back and ultimately we’re all screwed. Black and White. It’s especially dangerous here because, given the cost of this “hobby,” many of you here have risen high enough in your fields to have some say over hiring and firing practices. And loaning and foreclosing. And assigning and promoting. And even prosecuting and sentencing. You could do some real damage to our society if you let this shit seduce you. We fought a war over this shit and we’re still fighting over this it in legislative chambers, in front of election boards, in court rooms, in admin hearings. Let’s stop re-litigating stuff the previous generation already realized was poisonous to our society.

To give you a possible example of what I’m talking about, we now have a resident moron who feels very comfortable posting openly anti-Black screeds complete with fake statistics and blatantly misrepresented studies. He hasn’t been this active before. Did all the pushback against a certain “NBA” poster make him feel safe to come out? Did the “get over it” talk push the line of what’s acceptable back just enough that he felt it was ok to come out his hole?  

Or let me put it this way, “get over it” is damn near the twin of “just accept it” which is sure as hell the brother of “it’s ok.” When you open the door to “it’s ok,” you get this sick slick of slime spreading his filth. That’s what you open up the door for when you call bigotry “preference.”

So what do I want you to do about it? Essentially… nothing.

You don’t have to call the EEOC. You don’t have to cross Pettus Bridge with me. You don’t have to boycott your favorite provider (as I’ve said before, bigots have to eat, too — she just won’t eat on my dime).

But since we’re apparently moving closer to calling a spade a spade on this board, let’s call a bigot a bigot, too. I’m not saying call ladies out, but don’t defend ugliness. (And don't feed the trolls, either. Though they should be called out.)

If the ugliness makes you feel uncomfortable, good. Hold on to that feeling. Don’t rationalize it away.

Does a lady have a right to say “No Blacks?” Yeah, it’s absolutely her right and it’s sacred. Her body, her person: her rules of consent. But that doesn’t mean it’s not ugly. So if we’re going to discuss race, let’s ditch the “get over it” chorus. None of us should get over it

2superamo 115 Reviews 762 reads
posted
2 / 24
And we have the right to tell you to shut up

I don't come to this board to read this kind of slop.  If you're so fired up about escorts and discrimination prove it by getting out from behind your keyboard and run for congress.  I promise I'll vote for you, but until then just shut up.

MILFCARESSA See my TER Reviews 707 reads
posted
3 / 24
Amen...never feel that you have to be bullied into silence


END OF MESSAGE
Related Link: http://caressa.naughtynsexy.com

Jon1600 473 reads
posted
4 / 24
Eloquently Stated

Posted By: dcpoorboy
I’d love to retire the race issue for a while. Especially since when it comes up, it always seems to devolve into some kind of shitfest amateur hour, open mic night at the Lester Maddox Center. But since that’s not going to happen, I’m hoping we can go about it a little differently.  
   
 This is practical advice, not a plea for sympathy. If you’re tired of hearing about “No Blacks” and race, one good thing you can do is be quiet. I’m not saying that angrily. But if you say you’re tired of hornets, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to go around kicking hornets’ nests. If a guy’s just had his skin abraded (to say the least), rubbing it with some 50 grit “Get Over It” sandpaper is not going to quiet things down. Roll your eyes. Grit your teeth. Kick your dog if you have to. But click the back button.  
   
 But just be quiet and it will go away that much faster.  
   
 For those of you who want to understand what the big deal is or where we’re coming from, let me say one thing to you:  
   
 “No Jews.”  
   
 Be honest, what did you feel when you read that? A little disgusted? A little queasy? Even if you’re not Jewish, did you feel something in the pit of your stomach? Something ugly?  
   
 When you see something like that, do you laugh “Oh, she’s just afraid a Jewish man will haggle her to death” or “She’s just afraid a Jewish man will kvetch through the whole session?” Or do you think “She thinks there’s something foul about Jewishness she wants no part of?”  
   
 Would you tell a Jewish man “get over it” if he vented about that?  
   
 So why is it so ok and just “preference” when a woman says “No Blacks?”  
  I agree with everything you have stated. Simply put - bigotry is fear and ignorance. I have no tolerance for bigots who are really scared morans.
 This isn’t about my fragile ego or my hurt feelings or my blue balls or anything like that because I have zero interest in making some bigot come or giving her my hard-earned money. It’s bigger than that.  
   
 When we defend this bullshit as “preference,” all we’re doing is normalizing bigotry.  
   
 If we convince each other this is acceptable, the line for what’s unacceptable moves further back and ultimately we’re all screwed. Black and White. It’s especially dangerous here because, given the cost of this “hobby,” many of you here have risen high enough in your fields to have some say over hiring and firing practices. And loaning and foreclosing. And assigning and promoting. And even prosecuting and sentencing. You could do some real damage to our society if you let this shit seduce you. We fought a war over this shit and we’re still fighting over this it in legislative chambers, in front of election boards, in court rooms, in admin hearings. Let’s stop re-litigating stuff the previous generation already realized was poisonous to our society.  
   
 To give you a possible example of what I’m talking about, we now have a resident moron who feels very comfortable posting openly anti-Black screeds complete with fake statistics and blatantly misrepresented studies. He hasn’t been this active before. Did all the pushback against a certain “NBA” poster make him feel safe to come out? Did the “get over it” talk push the line of what’s acceptable back just enough that he felt it was ok to come out his hole?  
   
 Or let me put it this way, “get over it” is damn near the twin of “just accept it” which is sure as hell the brother of “it’s ok.” When you open the door to “it’s ok,” you get this sick slick of slime spreading his filth. That’s what you open up the door for when you call bigotry “preference.”  
   
 So what do I want you to do about it? Essentially… nothing.  
   
 You don’t have to call the EEOC. You don’t have to cross Pettus Bridge with me. You don’t have to boycott your favorite provider (as I’ve said before, bigots have to eat, too — she just won’t eat on my dime).  
   
 But since we’re apparently moving closer to calling a spade a spade on this board, let’s call a bigot a bigot, too. I’m not saying call ladies out, but don’t defend ugliness. (And don't feed the trolls, either. Though they should be called out.)  
   
 If the ugliness makes you feel uncomfortable, good. Hold on to that feeling. Don’t rationalize it away.  
   
 Does a lady have a right to say “No Blacks?” Yeah, it’s absolutely her right and it’s sacred. Her body, her person: her rules of consent. But that doesn’t mean it’s not ugly. So if we’re going to discuss race, let’s ditch the “get over it” chorus. None of us should get over it.  
 

Jon1600 452 reads
posted
5 / 24
Re: Eloquently Stated

Bigotry is just another form of fear. I have zero tolerance for bigots who are merely scared morons.

Jon1600 528 reads
posted
6 / 24
Re: And we have the right to tell you to shut up

Have you no decency or empathy. You come accross like an intolerant, angry jerk.

digdirkler 108 Reviews 944 reads
posted
7 / 24
MLK and Jesse Jackson said...

MLK said: "Do you know that Negroes are 10 percent of the population of St. Louis and are responsible for 58% of its crimes? We've got to face that. And we've got to do something about our moral standards," Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. told a congregation in 1961. "We know that there are many things wrong in the white world, but there are many things wrong in the black world, too. We can't keep on blaming the white man. There are things we must do for ourselves."

Jesse Jackson said: "There is nothing more painful to me at this stage in my life than to walk down the street and hear footsteps and start thinking about robbery. Then look around and see somebody white and feel relieved.... After all we have been through. Just to think we can't walk down our own streets, how humiliating. "

Maybe your moral vision could extend to women who don't necessarily find something disgusting about the concept of blackness... but rather find the prospect of being violently assaulted by a black man rightfully frightening.  A woman who shares MLK and Jesse Jackson's views on disproportionate, per capita crime rates and the hard reality of greatly elevated risk posed by black strangers on average?

Do you think that if black behavior, as a group, on average, changed, those women would be less fearful, and awful bad people like me wouldn't quote unflattering facts?  Is it really all just irrational anti black animus?

dcpoorboy 7 Reviews 580 reads
posted
8 / 24
The prosecution rests, your honor.

If you don't come to this board to read this kind of slop, you didn't have to read it. But then again, maybe you didn't read it because you didn't get the point.  

It's not about escorts and discrimination, it's about us making little compromises until something ugly happens. And actually it's happening now. But when somebody is running down your people or your family or your loved ones as dangerous and diseased, I invite you to sit in silence.

In closing, lock... box... Strategory... And I thank you for your support. (I'm dcpoorboy and I approve this message.)

theSmann 23 Reviews 442 reads
posted
9 / 24
No! Do NOT kick your dog! seriously eom


END OF MESSAGE

theSmann 23 Reviews 512 reads
posted
10 / 24
What outcome do you desire for your post?

What result would lead you to gauge your communication a success?

fnic2wa 1 Reviews 857 reads
posted
11 / 24
this is absurd

This is  a highly personal business. Its not like going to Walmart. In the name of being unbiased do I have to date as many 500 pounders as 100 pounders? As many 70 IQ as 130?  

We all have our preferences and in this business we should be free to pursue those preferences without the race Nazis coming down on us.
Posted By: dcpoorboy
I’d love to retire the race issue for a while. Especially since when it comes up, it always seems to devolve into some kind of shitfest amateur hour, open mic night at the Lester Maddox Center. But since that’s not going to happen, I’m hoping we can go about it a little differently.  
   
 This is practical advice, not a plea for sympathy. If you’re tired of hearing about “No Blacks” and race, one good thing you can do is be quiet. I’m not saying that angrily. But if you say you’re tired of hornets, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to go around kicking hornets’ nests. If a guy’s just had his skin abraded (to say the least), rubbing it with some 50 grit “Get Over It” sandpaper is not going to quiet things down. Roll your eyes. Grit your teeth. Kick your dog if you have to. But click the back button.  
   
 But just be quiet and it will go away that much faster.  
   
 For those of you who want to understand what the big deal is or where we’re coming from, let me say one thing to you:  
   
 “No Jews.”  
   
 Be honest, what did you feel when you read that? A little disgusted? A little queasy? Even if you’re not Jewish, did you feel something in the pit of your stomach? Something ugly?  
   
 When you see something like that, do you laugh “Oh, she’s just afraid a Jewish man will haggle her to death” or “She’s just afraid a Jewish man will kvetch through the whole session?” Or do you think “She thinks there’s something foul about Jewishness she wants no part of?”  
   
 Would you tell a Jewish man “get over it” if he vented about that?  
   
 So why is it so ok and just “preference” when a woman says “No Blacks?”  
   
 This isn’t about my fragile ego or my hurt feelings or my blue balls or anything like that because I have zero interest in making some bigot come or giving her my hard-earned money. It’s bigger than that.  
   
 When we defend this bullshit as “preference,” all we’re doing is normalizing bigotry.  
   
 If we convince each other this is acceptable, the line for what’s unacceptable moves further back and ultimately we’re all screwed. Black and White. It’s especially dangerous here because, given the cost of this “hobby,” many of you here have risen high enough in your fields to have some say over hiring and firing practices. And loaning and foreclosing. And assigning and promoting. And even prosecuting and sentencing. You could do some real damage to our society if you let this shit seduce you. We fought a war over this shit and we’re still fighting over this it in legislative chambers, in front of election boards, in court rooms, in admin hearings. Let’s stop re-litigating stuff the previous generation already realized was poisonous to our society.  
   
 To give you a possible example of what I’m talking about, we now have a resident moron who feels very comfortable posting openly anti-Black screeds complete with fake statistics and blatantly misrepresented studies. He hasn’t been this active before. Did all the pushback against a certain “NBA” poster make him feel safe to come out? Did the “get over it” talk push the line of what’s acceptable back just enough that he felt it was ok to come out his hole?  
   
 Or let me put it this way, “get over it” is damn near the twin of “just accept it” which is sure as hell the brother of “it’s ok.” When you open the door to “it’s ok,” you get this sick slick of slime spreading his filth. That’s what you open up the door for when you call bigotry “preference.”  
   
 So what do I want you to do about it? Essentially… nothing.  
   
 You don’t have to call the EEOC. You don’t have to cross Pettus Bridge with me. You don’t have to boycott your favorite provider (as I’ve said before, bigots have to eat, too — she just won’t eat on my dime).  
   
 But since we’re apparently moving closer to calling a spade a spade on this board, let’s call a bigot a bigot, too. I’m not saying call ladies out, but don’t defend ugliness. (And don't feed the trolls, either. Though they should be called out.)  
   
 If the ugliness makes you feel uncomfortable, good. Hold on to that feeling. Don’t rationalize it away.  
   
 Does a lady have a right to say “No Blacks?” Yeah, it’s absolutely her right and it’s sacred. Her body, her person: her rules of consent. But that doesn’t mean it’s not ugly. So if we’re going to discuss race, let’s ditch the “get over it” chorus. None of us should get over it.  
 

dcpoorboy 7 Reviews 467 reads
posted
12 / 24
thought

I don't know if there is a way to gauge success, Smann. I don't even know if success is possible. My hope was that we would think about the kind of atmosphere we're creating here. We've got one member who's toeing the line of hate speech (and might have crossed over by now) and that just made me wonder what made him think this would be a welcome platform for it.

If people think this is about being excluded by certain providers, that might be a failure on my part, because I couldn't care less. I don't believe in "get over it," but I do believe in "move on."  

I've been trying to think of a way to say this without sounding touchy-feely, but there is no way. My fear is if we become comfortable with the idea of excluding people by race here we take that same attitude back into the outside world. The real world, the one that matters. Obviously, I can't stop that train, but I was hoping to slow it down. Maybe slow it down enough for people to jump off.

-- Modified on 3/19/2015 10:20:30 PM

missymore See my TER Reviews 398 reads
posted
13 / 24
be nice to each other -e-



-- Modified on 3/19/2015 11:59:51 PM

dcpoorboy 7 Reviews 557 reads
posted
14 / 24
it's about attitudes on our side

My point wasn't "Y'all have to start seeing more Black guys," fnic2wa. If you missed that, I understand. It was a long ass post. (Much longer than I thought it would be.) And there are some subtleties I left out in the name of not making it even longer, like a woman might have other reasons for not seeing Black men other than bigotry.  

As I said in the post, a woman's rules of consent are untouchable, not even up for debate. But the rules that apply to your consent can't be applied universally. You can look at race as a matter of preference, but a banker can't. Or shouldn't. There are serious consequences for people like me when they do. Same with a judge, a DA (believe me, they're here), an HR manager, and on and on.

I began to sense a casual acceptance of excluding people by race by people on OUR side of the transaction. A casual acceptance and a vehement denial that it had any significance. I was just trying to say "Let's not make this the new norm. Don't fall asleep and take this attitude into the outside world.

theSmann 23 Reviews 668 reads
posted
15 / 24
A thoughtful response

I think the big disconnect in this debate centers on logic vs. emotion. digdirkler is presenting stats that would back up a logical response to providers' decisions about whom to see. I doubt that most providers, or really any of us, make decisions based on a logical, statistical foundation.

If the hobby ever becomes legalized, then providers will have to serve everyone. I'm perhaps in a minority, but hope it never comes to that--I would not want to force any business to make the cake for my gay marriage. Move on to businesses that welcome me.

I would also hate to see anyone, providers particularly, singled out because of "hate," based on their preferences.  

I've lost out on some appointments because of age--had I known the criteria, I could have "passed." I understand--don't feel, but intellectually understand--being excluded based on a criterion outside of one's control, a criterion that seems whimsical. But you have a good attitude toward it in thinking, "Move on to better pastures."

digdirkler 108 Reviews 583 reads
posted
16 / 24
Hate speech?

"We've got one member who's toeing the line of hate speech (and might have crossed over by now)"

Could you quote anything that is materially different than those quotes from MLK and JJ, other than your presumption of the author's racial identity?

dcpoorboy 7 Reviews 533 reads
posted
17 / 24
Re: A thoughtful response

The big problem is the liar’s stats are bogus. Some he presents out of context, some he cherry picks, some he outright misrepresents, some he might even be fabricating. I busted the fraud presenting rates on victims as rates on criminals. He’s also on record as saying if 1 out of 100 Black men is possibly dangerous then that’s cause to avoid the other 99. We’re talking about somebody with an agenda here. Hate speech, or at least borderline hate speech, disguised as “science.”

Anyway… I have the same fear about legalization, but I think we can carve out an exception here. I’m a dyed in the wool lefty, but like Rand Paul, I have concerns about the line where civil rights legislation clashes with personal freedom. Sometimes you have to compromise personal freedom in the name of the greater good. But there is no “greater good” argument that can get me to sign off on institutionalized rape. So it should always be a woman's choice. If legalization means a woman has to “see” whoever shows up, I’ll fight against legalization myself.

It’s one thing to slide a soda to someone you find disgusting and a whole other thing to offer your body and your person (for one hour or so) to someone you find disgusting. I think I would actually take up arms to prevent that.

What to do about the religious exception, though… Is requiring someone to bake a cake for a gay wedding forcing them to kind of participate in a ceremony they don’t agree with? But can we truly say these people have the same rights and protections as everyone else if we allow one select group to ostracize them? All you and I can both do for now is move on

dcpoorboy 7 Reviews 604 reads
posted
18 / 24
bigotry, preference, not a NAZI, etc.

If you have the luxury of only seeing guys you find attractive or at or above the “ok” line, I’m happy for you. Sincerely. I’m not being sarcastic. But that’s not most ladies’ business model.  

Most ladies exclude based on what they find intolerable mentally or emotionally. For someone to say “I find you completely unpalatable because of your race or ethnicity regardless of any individual attributes” can be called a preference, but it’s also a form of bigotry. Or “I find your kind so unpalatable I can’t even take your money.”

But it truly is a woman’s right to exclude someone based on race, ethnicity, shoe size, eye color, how someone pronounces the word “ask,” whatever. But that’s not a standard we can apply outside the bedroom. Society can’t afford it.

Some of us on this side seemed so comfortable with the idea of racial exclusion here that I worried their acceptance of it would creep into their minds out there, too. I think “hobbying” has changed how most of us here see the world.

 

I gave an example of the difference in another thread. Forgive me if I just paste it here (you’ll see I’ve been repeating myself). I could say it better now, but shoot, I’ve already said it, so why reinvent the wheel?

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewall.asp?MessageID=279405&boardID=6&page=3#279405

"I’ll give you a real world example of how preference is different from bigotry. There’s a porn star named Arianna Jollee who said she’s not attracted to Black guys. Nothing insulting there, we’re all probably genetically encoded/neurologically hard-wired to prefer our own races. Yet, I’ve seen her in scenes with Black guys, squirting her little heart away. We aren’t her preference, but she didn’t think it repulsive to do scenes with us.  
 
There’s another porn star named Kelsey Michaels who said she refuses to even do a scene with a Black guy (think she’s from the South). I saw her in an anal scene where she is crying because it hurt so bad. Not weeping. Not sniffling. Mascara running, almost wailing, crying. It’s heartbreaking. Really cooled me off on porn. I have no idea why the studio even released it. Yet that horrible, painful experience is less disgusting to her than doing any scene with any Black man at any time. No matter how gentle he might be. Because there’s something inherently foul about Blackness that she wants no part of. That, my friend, is bigotry.  
 
I don’t want ladies to have sex with anybody they find disgusting or even unappealing. I don’t want to have sex with or give my hard-earned money to somebody who doesn’t think I’m human, no matter how hot she is. I don’t want guys to boycott them. I don’t want guys jeopardizing their good time with their ATF by calling her on her racism or anything like that.  
 
What I do want is for guys to stop defending bigotry as "preference." Because if mongers normalize it here, they’re going to take that same approach into boardrooms, courtrooms, garages, or wherever the mongers here work. That’s the only solution I see.”

Maybe I should have quit while I was behind, but hopefully that clarifies where I’m coming from

lumbermanxxx 465 reads
posted
19 / 24
And again...

it starts.... Maybe you should have retired it like you said..

dcpoorboy 7 Reviews 516 reads
posted
20 / 24
lost point

Yeahhhh. I don't know if you agree with a word I said, but I agree with what you just said. About my reply this morning, that is. I shouldn't have added anything on because it just obscured my larger point.  

And the larger point was we all agree a lady has the right to exclude anybody she wants for whatever reason she wants, but let's not get too comfortable with people making sweeping generalizations about race. It's not good for society and it's scary for the various peoples who have a history of facing hostile majorities

dcpoorboy 7 Reviews 454 reads
posted
21 / 24
Go McGill on a trash can

I actually meant to change this to "kick a trash can," but there were a lot of words and I lost track of some of them. I also lost track of apologies, too, so let me now say I apologize for promoting cruelty to animals. Mentally change that to "Go McGill on a trash can," if you don't mind.

Sidney Starr See my TER Reviews 654 reads
posted
22 / 24
Re: lost point

It most definitely is a woman's right to say yes and no to who she lets inside her body.  Women that say no to a man of a certain race may say no for different reasons. Maybe she is only attracted to Caucasian males or maybe she is a bigoted racist. Sad thing is yes it does exist. Or maybe she fears a well endowed man and just assumes that every black man is packing. Though that is not always the case.  

  Enough already though on this topic. It will be constantly found advertising that displays this sentiment that so riles up some individuals.  It isn't going anywhere. And every time it gets talked about the same replies come with it. It's out there , and we truly cannot do anything to change it.  

  For the clients just move on to the next one who doesn't care. There are plenty.

  Happy Hobbying.

JohnyComeAlready 438 reads
posted
23 / 24
Quit being a victim. (eom)


END OF MESSAGE

dcpoorboy 7 Reviews 540 reads
posted
24 / 24
It's about life outside the "hobby"

This isn't about the exclusion itself. I tried to devote as little energy to that as possible. It's about how what we accept here changes what we accept out there.

I’ll give you an example. Used to be when I’d hear about a woman doing the super or a property manager certain favors in lieu of paying rent, I’d just go “Ewwww.” I’d think he was a predator and she was skeezy. Now, I just go “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.” As long as it’s her idea. If it’s his idea, I still go “Ewwwww.” But even then, I just think “Predator.” No “skeezy” chaser.

I'm not being completely honest. Let me put this in the real world for you.

A few months ago, I heard that a friend, a civilian, was offered an "I can help you with your rent" deal by a property manager. You know what my first thought was? It wasn't "ewwww." It wasn't even "predator." It was "Did she take it." I'm not proud of that. Fortunately, I kept that from being the first thing out of my mouth.

I’m not saying my change in outlook is a good thing or a bad thing, it’s just an “is” thing. The "hobby" doesn’t stay in a box. For better or for worse, it changes us and how we see the world.

So I can see someone getting comfortable with or even defending the idea of racial exclusion (or just profiling) here, then going to work to review a loan application, and casually going "Well, Black people don't pay their bills, so... application denied." That's how it starts. When the idea of assumptions becomes acceptable

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