I have helped out providers as well. Picked one up at the airport, bought christmas presents for her kids and always try to give good professional advice to help them up their game. I figure if they are successful they will come back to the area and I can see them again.
Sure, some guys just want to fuck and leave. No strings attached. Which is great and this is probably what most men want. For example, they may have SO, family, other hobbying things, or are just busy. Yes, providers are just people too, if that is hard to believe. They have emotions, wants, needs, and other things of that nature.
Sometimes, I tell myself "what the fuck am I getting myself into?" I know I'm not the only one. I'v done many generous things for the girls OTF and I think at the end of the day, I will be rewarded "spiritually" for helping someone out. Yes, I know this is not dating, but I also know that I'm not the only one. Yes, I like to fuck, leave, and don't want the strings attached. However, like I said, they are people too, and sometimes they need that extra lift in their lives.
Its a lot of work, but, I always get rewarded. Here is a recent example. This one provider friend I've seen about five times missed her train to Pennsylvania for the holidays. She was telling me how she wanted to go back to her family when I saw her a few times before she missed her train. Long story short, my stupid ass drove her to PA. Nice place, first time I actually drove there, plenty of mountains and there was actually snow (not much). GPS said 4 hours, I got there in 2 hours because I like to push that petal to the metal. About 5 hours total round trip.
Am I dumb for doing this for her? That's just an ONE example. However, I knew how important it was for her to get home for the holidays and spend it with her family. She did let me and out with her at her hotel before I drove her for 4 or 5 hours, and yes, she let me fucked her for free too for doing this. When I drove her back to PA, she let me take a shower, let me rest, cooked me dinner, and even let me fucked her afterwards.
Was it worth it? Should I have said, "sorry baby, but there are other ways of getting home"? Should I say, "sorry, I couldn't do it, or I'm busy"? I was still busy, but I put my selfish needs aside. I knew she had no other options besides me because she told me I was her last option of getting home, or she would have to wait 4 more days for another train, and that would have been too late for Christmas.
In a way, I don't see them as "providers' but people with needs just like everyone else. Maybe one day, I'll just say "fuck it, I don't have the time or energy for it anymore." However, as long as I can still help someone out, provider, friend, coworker, or whoever, then I'll continue to do that. I think there is a stigma for helping out providers, but, you will be rewarded. Am I an idiot for doing these things? Am I the only one? I know I can't be the only idiot out there.
Though you will probably get blasted by a lot of folks on here.
And you are far from alone, though most guys who do little extras have learned it's not worth the grief they get to acknowledge it.
I volunteer a fair bit of time in soup kitchens and other projects through my church. This helps people I have never met and may never see again. If I do that, why would I not help a lady I have seen a few times and gotten to be friendly with? And no, I am not under any delusions that they will fall in love with me--nor do I want them to.
I gave a lady and her 7 y/o daughter a ride once. I was traveling across country, stoped to see her since Iwas spending the night in her city anyway. I had seen her before (similar situation) about a year before. Over dinner I found out her grandmother was ill, and she didn't have the money to fly there. It was along my route so I offered her a ride. She said she couldn't, because of her daughter so I said there was room for both. It was a great ride (about 14 hrs)--nice company and the little girl was charming and a blast as she read us stories from her books. I'd do that trip again any day. And before anyone gets weird ideas, there was no erotic payback of any sort. Just lots of smiles (and a crayon drawing from the 7 y/o of the three of us at Denny's).
People who refuse to see the ladies as real people miss a lot this corner of the world has to offer.
I have helped out providers as well. Picked one up at the airport, bought christmas presents for her kids and always try to give good professional advice to help them up their game. I figure if they are successful they will come back to the area and I can see them again.
except the knowledge that you helped another human being who was in need. I became emotionally involved with a provider a few years back. I thought we had a real "connection". Then, without warning, she disappeared for 2 years. When she resurfaced she told me an amazing story of having been involved with drugs, alcohol, having been pregnant via rape, institutionalized, etc., etc. She was chronically broke and always overdrawing her checking account, so I decided to help with some cash. A grand, to be exact. I advised her to take $200 cash, deposit the rest in her checking account, but only record it as $600. Then, she'd always have at least $200 in the account and would avoid overdraft charges. Long story short....I don't know if she ever did, cause I haven't seen or heard from her since. That was almost 3 years ago.
JCNVA,
If you knew what you know now, would you do it all over again? Get emotionally involved?
I do stuff like this all the time for my ATFs- like you said, you're dealing with people- I value friendship over the other stuff, and some of these providers are great people- true story
Sometimes, I tell myself "what the fuck am I getting myself into?" I know I'm not the only one. I'v done many generous things for the girls OTF and I think at the end of the day, I will be rewarded "spiritually" for helping someone out. Yes, I know this is not dating, but I also know that I'm not the only one. Yes, I like to fuck, leave, and don't want the strings attached. However, like I said, they are people too, and sometimes they need that extra lift in their lives.
Its a lot of work, but, I always get rewarded. Here is a recent example. This one provider friend I've seen about five times missed her train to Pennsylvania for the holidays. She was telling me how she wanted to go back to her family when I saw her a few times before she missed her train. Long story short, my stupid ass drove her to PA. Nice place, first time I actually drove there, plenty of mountains and there was actually snow (not much). GPS said 4 hours, I got there in 2 hours because I like to push that petal to the metal. About 5 hours total round trip.
Am I dumb for doing this for her? That's just an ONE example. However, I knew how important it was for her to get home for the holidays and spend it with her family. She did let me and out with her at her hotel before I drove her for 4 or 5 hours, and yes, she let me fucked her for free too for doing this. When I drove her back to PA, she let me take a shower, let me rest, cooked me dinner, and even let me fucked her afterwards.
Was it worth it? Should I have said, "sorry baby, but there are other ways of getting home"? Should I say, "sorry, I couldn't do it, or I'm busy"? I was still busy, but I put my selfish needs aside. I knew she had no other options besides me because she told me I was her last option of getting home, or she would have to wait 4 more days for another train, and that would have been too late for Christmas.
In a way, I don't see them as "providers' but people with needs just like everyone else. Maybe one day, I'll just say "fuck it, I don't have the time or energy for it anymore." However, as long as I can still help someone out, provider, friend, coworker, or whoever, then I'll continue to do that. I think there is a stigma for helping out providers, but, you will be rewarded. Am I an idiot for doing these things? Am I the only one? I know I can't be the only idiot out there.
The stories I read of hobbyists' relationship or experience with providers (e.g. friendship, OTC time) are foreign to me.
I would never be able to trust them so I prefer to not even go there.
Your generousity isn't about how great a guy your are, It's about her. The sooner you realize women are good at seperating men from their money the better.......and if you're not willing to do so their eventually will be someone who will.
There are no shortage of women who will accept money with no strings attached.
With the ATFs I will do things like this, and have, plus have volunteered for more. I have NO illusions about what my relationship with them really is, but I like them and I do it because of that, period. I don't have stupid expectations, but -I- feel a personal connection that isn't just rent-a-pussy. Perhaps they do to, or perhaps I am just deluded. My money, my time, my choice. Stupid? Perhaps, but even the most jaded here (clients and providers both) would admit to feelings like this if they are honest.
i think to become involved personally with a provider is risque. not to sound selfish, but think of your normal life. if this is your normal life then you're kidding yourself and wasting our time, but i think because you do have some what of a normal life you are posting about this on this board, to see if there are others out there that have weaknesses such as yourself. well.. you're human and so are we. i've yet to meet an indestructable being. but i will say this... kindess is often times mistaken as weakness and trust is man's biggest weakness. i won't say trust no one as cliche as it may sound, but think of normal life and hobby life intertwined together into a labyrinth of confusion and madness.
we hobby for one reason don't we? stick to it, when that line gets blurred its time to rethink it. but again, you're definitely not an idiot but that nice guy... and we all know what happens to nice guys.
Sometimes, I tell myself "what the fuck am I getting myself into?" I know I'm not the only one. I'v done many generous things for the girls OTF and I think at the end of the day, I will be rewarded "spiritually" for helping someone out. Yes, I know this is not dating, but I also know that I'm not the only one. Yes, I like to fuck, leave, and don't want the strings attached. However, like I said, they are people too, and sometimes they need that extra lift in their lives.
Its a lot of work, but, I always get rewarded. Here is a recent example. This one provider friend I've seen about five times missed her train to Pennsylvania for the holidays. She was telling me how she wanted to go back to her family when I saw her a few times before she missed her train. Long story short, my stupid ass drove her to PA. Nice place, first time I actually drove there, plenty of mountains and there was actually snow (not much). GPS said 4 hours, I got there in 2 hours because I like to push that petal to the metal. About 5 hours total round trip.
Am I dumb for doing this for her? That's just an ONE example. However, I knew how important it was for her to get home for the holidays and spend it with her family. She did let me and out with her at her hotel before I drove her for 4 or 5 hours, and yes, she let me fucked her for free too for doing this. When I drove her back to PA, she let me take a shower, let me rest, cooked me dinner, and even let me fucked her afterwards.
Was it worth it? Should I have said, "sorry baby, but there are other ways of getting home"? Should I say, "sorry, I couldn't do it, or I'm busy"? I was still busy, but I put my selfish needs aside. I knew she had no other options besides me because she told me I was her last option of getting home, or she would have to wait 4 more days for another train, and that would have been too late for Christmas.
In a way, I don't see them as "providers' but people with needs just like everyone else. Maybe one day, I'll just say "fuck it, I don't have the time or energy for it anymore." However, as long as I can still help someone out, provider, friend, coworker, or whoever, then I'll continue to do that. I think there is a stigma for helping out providers, but, you will be rewarded. Am I an idiot for doing these things? Am I the only one? I know I can't be the only idiot out there.
Met a girl while on vacation who was working away from home. Saw her several times over a long weekend, and ended up buying plane tickets home for her and her friend (using frequent flier miles!). In this case I could tell that her "providing" was not a regular thing - she was undercharging, overperforming (awesome in fact) and seemed to be just having a great time of it all - I think just working to finance her own vacation. Her friend seemed a bit more of a "pro". In ths case I had gotten to know the girl a bit, had her real name for the booking of the plane ticket, etc. She even returned my initial stake when I funded her successful run on the craps table lol. Kept in touch, and since she has stopped dancing at her hometown club, graduated from college, and seems to be in a good way.
May not be the same scenario as helping out a regular, but I'd probably do something similar if a fave needed a hand up. While we may view their means of supporting themselves in a negative light (though, not stopping us from playing our role in the transaction), I agree with those posters who remind us that these ladies are people too....
Sorry, hit Enter too soon.
Was it "worth" it, you ask? Well, you got laid twice for your 5-6 hours of effort. That's not really something that will get you martyrdom status. Sure, you went out of your way. But you were "rewarded" pretty well - in a non-spiritual sense - for your efforts. You came out way ahead of most of the guys who post about getting involved in gals' private lives. The key to being unselfish is to do things without expecting any reward, and to feel good about what you've done when you don't get a reward for it.
Three ladies I have helped out, 1 paid me back, 2 were a cash and dash The chances are more likely you will not get it back. Lets be real, most of these ladies make pretty good income and sad most ladies I know, only a few are good at budging. I am not saying not to help, just be cautious (think with the big head) and keep in mind you might not get it back. My dad once said is it better to loan money to family, if they don't pay, you can beat thier a$$ and its called "discipline". You beat your friend's a$$ and its called "assault".
Will I help out another lady? Yes and she knows who she is. Take care all and may you have the best of times in 2013.
Such as freebie, intimacy, meaningful relationship, etc.. Then you are just a kind-hearted person and should be happy just with the fact that you were able to make somebody happy.