I can write a long argument for both sides of this topic. However, as a middle aged single guy who does not actively date or even pursue potential love interests, I do feel like I am missing out. Then again, whats the point when with an e-mail, a couple phone calls and a few C notes, I can have a naked gorgeous and willing woman in my arms. There is an old saying that Free Sex is the most expensive sex a man will ever have but another saying states that the fun is in the chase. Where do you fall into this dynamic?

I know this may be a little personal for some of us but I do think that this is a nice change of pace from the typical topics here.

I have had the same thought.  In the hobby I have met some wonderful women that have set my standards high for a regular date.  For the last couple years I have thought about putting some time into pursuing a regular date, even venture into online dating.  Recently I finally asked out a lady that I have know for a while on a dinner/movie date.  I had such a wonderful time that sex was the last thing on my mind.................no I am not gay. LOL!  So here is what I am going to do.  I am going to continue to date and keep my ATF for those "times of needs".  If the dating turns into something serious (awesome).  If not, I am ok with it.   So to answer the question, yes it has stymied the quantity of regular dates I have.  But has definitely boosted the quality of ladies I do date

Of course the "dating" thing may not be an issue to a married guy...maybe.

Some considerations for a married guy may be the following:

- Does hobbying keep him from otherwise being a skirt chaser?

- Does hobbying "keep" the marriage alive?

- Does hobbying show him what he is, or may be missing in his marriage?

- Should his hobby be viewed as just that, a hobby, like golf?

I'm single in my 60s and I've been dating ladies 10/15 years younger and hobbying ladies 40-years younger. I continually ask myself - what's the better deal.  When dating, I spend $150-$200 per/date (4/6 hours) and many times there is no sex at the end - nice kissing, warmth etc.  But the girls who I see are "Queens" and don't feel compelled to "give it up" - for seemingly months. And when they do, the sex just isn't as hot as I get with a 20-something. So I hobby on the side, and get what I want.  Dating is hard concentration for me, to stay interested in conversations - where I really have no interest (her family, her kids, her job, her aches and pains, her/our future.....blah blah...are we right for each other). With "paid girls" its just nice sex as I like it - blow my nut and I'm free to go. I certainly don't feel that "I'm missing out" on the dating scene; I feel the reverse, had I taken the cash I spent on "no-sexo dates" and put it into getting iPhone video upgrades from the paid-girls - I have the videos to view fore ever - and all the memories I want.

If your an average looking middle age guy, then you will never find a young hot spinner girl that is willing to sleep with you for free. It doesn't work like that. You may find an average looking women, but never a hot looking young girl. Unless she was drunk off her ass and needed to fuck, LMAO.

The thing about hobbying is, it doesn't discriminate against a person's physical attributes or being able to connect. All you need is a few dollars and you can sleep with the hottest looking young girls that's available. Also, you don't have to worry about talking to them afterwards. In other words, you pay them to leave.

In a relationship, it takes a lot to make it work. The drama, emotional aspects, and other things, it's way too much to handle if your not good at it. Free sex is the most expensive sex because it not only deals with the financial aspects but also the emotional aspects. Can you afford to deal with the emotional aspects?

The pursuit of free sex is time consuming. Not only time, but also your wallet. Here's a few instances. Young hot looking girls want to be treated well. There was this one girl I dated, I bought her so many shoes and handbags I had to give her my main closet. And that walk in closet is the size of a regular bedroom. I can say this much, each shoes will run you one bill and each handbag will run you at least two bills. She also goes to the salon and get her nails done. She goes to the salon two or three times a month and each visit is three bills. I'm not quite sure what she does in there and do not know why it cost so much. She gets her nails done at least twice a month, and each visit is about 2 bills.  

Those are just the general things that I've experience. It doesn't even include dinner, vacations, and other things. So, in a month, you can do the math. That is why it is so much cheaper to pay to play. Not only the financial aspect but also the emotional aspect. Believe me, dealing with someone emotionally and personally is a full time job in itself. Especially when their hot and fucking you for "free".

Well written and thought out - I would add - the "Hobby" did cost me one Thanksgiving Day Dinner invitation when my hobbying became known to the Holiday Hostess - who has a Prudish side to her, oh well - all part of it.  And, your former-wife(s) will use it against you in Divorce Court.

. . . the women in my age bracket are usually looking for one thing, and though there may be sex involved, what they really want is a husband. After two times around, I'm just not interested.   Or, if i try to go down more than a decade or two to find a gal who just wants to have fun (while i spend gobs of benjamins keeping her interested), it freaks out my friends and family (especially my kids, who are in their 20s and 30s).  Plus, as others have said, this gets expensive and eventually becomes stressful. Who needs that?

So, by engaging women through the hobby, I can satisfy my carnal needs and, once in a while, even connect with someone on a more intimate level.  That way, as I reluctantly go out with the ones that are thrown at me by friends with good intentions, I can take it all in stride, the edge taken off the sexual tension that would otherwise be present.  So, it's all good, all around.

The best thing is that when I travel, and I can do an extended date, with dinner, etc., without the worry of being "seen," it's the best of all worlds.  After all, there's nothing that gets this 50-something guy more pumped up than walking into a crowded restaurant with an outstanding lady on my arm, and having everyone look our way -- the men are envious, the women skeptical, but curious -- and I'm a little smug in the knowledge that in an hour or two, I'll either be between her legs, or have her between mine.  Guaranteeeed.

So, yeah, this definitely boosts my social life.  Absolutely. In many ways, this IS my social life

I agree.  An average guy in his 50s with a young hot girlfriend is asking for trouble because she knows she is hot and you're lucky to be with her and so you better whip out that wallet to buy her nice things.  With this hobby, it is not a hard task to have sex with a young hot woman if you have the cash and everyone knows the rules of the game.  The problem is if you're screwing around with hot escorts, it makes it very difficult to get excited about going out with an older average looking women in her late 40s or early 50s

Hobbying is a diversion from my regular life and relationship, not a replacement for it; it's definitely a confidence booster, but I'm a decent looking, young (ish), educated, professional guy, so I get attention from the fairer sex anyway...to me, it's less complicated than forming a legitimate secondary or tertiary relationship with a "civilian"; no bunny boiling, no muss, no fuss- although I've become attached to a couple of providers, and formed actual semi-platonic relationships  
 

At one point in my Monger career I found myself REALLY enjoying the company of providers.  While I did have a few that I made that connection with the only drawback was the, more often than not, "sport fucking" feel my sessions had grown to become.

I do like a level of connection/vibe with my sessions.  I too have aged past fucking for the sake of fucking.  However, the pay for play does decrease the drama significantly if the parties involved stay in their lane.

And you are right....nothing like having eye candy on your arm.  I did a weekend trip with one of my ATFs.  She is a bonafide 11 no matter your taste.  Everywhere, and I mean everywhere we went, the guys and the ladies would be like...."Damn! She is fine!!!  A definite head turner!!!  That type of attention can boost your ego.

I am a lurker who'd like to try the hobby.  My backstory is I made the emotional, psychological, etc., commitment to get my sex for "free" till death do us part... only to find out my other half has no interest in anything physical.  We are great platonic friends who are married... It's killed my confidence, and I am in my low 50s... not ready for celibacy and CERTAINLY not ready to never hold hands, DFK, or roam hands yet. I think is will be a GOOD thing for me when I gather up the never to take the plunge...

Not to be the little red guy who stands of your shoulder and whispers in your ear, but as someone who has been there, all I can say is life is too short. If you can handle a little duplicity in your life, then treat yourself. We are not meant to stop having fun at 50, or even 60 (so I tell myself as that milestone creeps closer).

Neither, it presently balances my social life. At some point, I hope to leave the hobby for a partner; however until then!

I enjoyed reading this discussion.