feel like a total complete loser paying a girl to have 'dinner dates'?

I never ever had any problem finding good looking civvy dates and the ladies have always mutually enjoyed MY companionship as well. Didn't need to pay just to watch them shove food down their throat... and yap yap, know what I mean?

One may argue, "then why do you pay a girl to get laid". Technically I don't need to cuz I got a pretty hot girlfriend. LMAO So my answer would be NSA sex and... variety.

Then again, there are certain rare once in blue moon providers whom I have made one or two exceptions, taking her out and stuff. Still felt like a sore loser afterwords though cuz I am not accustomed to paying a girl just to take her out. lol

Sometimes dinner and breakfast. I would rather spend more on a provider then get a peck on the cheek and a silly excuse that she has to get up early the next morning froma civie chick.

Yes Officer Cartman I agree wholeheartedly that the civie girls that actually have bedroom skills usually are psycho.

just that it makes me feel like a loser.


You do have an interesting answer tho. No time for the hunting rituals.

Sometimes it amazes me how women can act so well. I for one can never pretend to like someone, lol  I guess I will be the worst BFE if I was a gigolo.

I agree. Only losers would pay for dinner dates.

But hey, my time is valuable too  

Most ladies tend to think that it's the women who has the goods who hold the cards in this game, but I have to respectfully disagree.

Not at all tooting my own horn, honestly just being truthful to illustrate a point: I have been sexually approached 10+ times in college and into my 20s, by different girls who were literally and blatantly trying to get in my pants. One girl managed to get me so drunk til I passed out, then performed BBBJ and then some. How did I know this? Because we ended up dating and she told me all about it. Many other incidents like this, at a club, a bar, over at a friend's house, etc. Even worse and came on stronger when they found out I already had a girl.

Now I'm not the most good looking guy in the world but still I think I'm not the ugliest guy either. I'm just not the desperate type and maybe that's what women find attractive. Or maybe I just happen to hang out with the right friends and women tend to go after the most popular or known guy in town back where I was at. I just don't know what it is.

In a market where the demand for hot lady's companionship is more than the demand for decent guy's companionship, it works out well for ladies.  And that seems to be the situation in this civilization... probably will stay the same for many hundreds / thousands of years as long as the male hormone has a bigger and more powerful sex drive than the female hormone.

The demand for women companionship is generally accepted in this culture.  I accept and commend that there's more power to women since they are sought after, able to sit around play hard to get while guys are generally expected to be the hunters.  It's the norm of this society.

However, it still doesn't change the fact that it makes some guys feel like a desperate loser  paying a women for her time.

I don't like just dinner dates either, but I do like to take them out to dinner on overnight dates. Dinner, movie whatever they want. Then bring them home and fuck them silly.

I wish I were easy for me to get civvy dates. It would be definitely nice break from P4P. Oh well...

I've been single for about a year and dated quite a bit but most civvies are kinda boring in bed. And the ones who were wild in the sack ended up being kinda psycho. It's tough to stick with vanilla when providers offer so many flavors.

Or maybe they just want to get to know the lady a bit before the sex act. Not everyone does but some do.  It takes all kinds.

If going to dinner is not of interest to you, do not request that as part of your time.  Seems very simple.

I often find the conversation and company over dinner is a nice interlude between two acts.  I have also noticed that when a lady's stomach is full her clock runs slower.

For me much of this business makes sense because I travel a lot, often not being anyhere long enough to play the hunting rituals--whether or not I can find good civvy dates is moot if you are only in town 36 hours.

I’m going to step out on a limb here…. LOL! I was tempted to post this under an Alias, but I stand by everything stated in this post.

Feel free to flame, I have my big girl panties on, I can take it.

The reason why gentlemen pay me for dinner dates and overnighters is because I always have something else I can do otherwise. I, like most of us, have lives outside the business. I myself, have a very active life.

A day for me with out being “paid for companionship” is as follows:

- Check emails
- Respond to board postings
- Taking the dishes out of the dishwasher
- Starting a new load of clothes, dry and folding them
- Clean the house
- Water my babies ( Yes, my plant all have names, so what?)
- Call my provider girlfriends as well as civi girlfriends
- Posing what ever ads I’m going to post for the day on whatever board
- Filliping between CNN, MSMBC, and HLN for an hour to be abreast on the daily news
- Read the Post  and the Sun
- Spend 1-2 hours in the gym (just the treadmill at this time, LOL!)
-
All of this before 9am, mind you….I usually raise between 4-6am everyday. 6am during the school semester.

- I call my family members and my various originations that I volunteer for.
- Swing by my family’s house and shop for odds and ends for them
- Swing by my volunteer station and stay for 2-4 hours
- -Spending anywhere from 2-4 hours practicing my craft
- Spending 3-5 hours composing (Logic, Finale, Pro Tools or Reason)
- Spending between 3-5 hours studio time
- Spending 3-4 hours (average) speaking to the studio engineers, other artists as well as the producers, singers and musicians and plan to collaborate on future projects
- Usually around this time, I realize I’ve forgotten to eat, so I go home and cook a meal (I usually have company from the studio that follows me, LOL!)

By this time it is way too late to plan any late night outing, as it is WAY too late, and I’m pissed that another day has passed with out taking the time to walk barefoot in the grass and watch the sun set.

*Sigh*

I know other ladies schedules aren’t like mine, but I DO know that their day is jam packed unless otherwise specified.

So…..If someone asks me to join them for a FREE dinner, I’ll decline, with legitimate reason.  I have things to do. LOL!

Now, on a day when I have a ” dinner date”, my morning is the same, but around noon my day looks like this:
- Get toes done to the specified color and a manicure
- So shopping for the specified outfit
- Shave EVERYTHING from the neck down (unless otherwise specified)
- Exfoliate (to this day, I have a Gentleman who’s skin is softer than mine and he claims that Vaseline is his moisturizer of choice. GREEN with envy!)
- Eat a well balanced brunch
- Make sure my chosen outfit is out of the drycleaners
- Make sure I have a playlist if his chosen genre of music
- Shop for his chosen bottle of wine (if any)
- Coordinate transportation
- Pick out appropriate candles and scents
- Pack my “outcall” bag
- Spend at least a half hour making up my face (YES, sometimes it takes that damn long, guys)
- Pick out desired pair of pumps and pick out a back up pair should primary pair brake for some God-some-awful-reason

Entertainment wise that is a different story, from FREE time. Why do you think some ladies ask for at least 24 hours notice? LOL!

I just wanted to give you guys another prospective…
Okay…. Flame away.

Honestly it is not so easy for me, as a married man, to find civie girls to have sex but it is not so difficult to find girls to take out for dinner. Also I agree a lot of the time sex with civie girls is not as exciting as with providers.   I have taken many providers out for dinner (when she is a interesting person to have conversation otherwise I don't want to waste my very busy time) but I have never paid for it.  I tell them up front, if they would like to have very nice dinner with me, I would be happy to take them but not paying for their time.  Some girls agree and some don't but I always provide them good time (and good food) when I do.  So I understand your feeling about "looser" but there are many guys out there who like to be personally connected with providers and they are willing to pay for the companionship other than just sex.  Personally I will never pay for "dinner" part but having interesting conversation with good food and wine with interesting ladies is sometimes better than having sex with young or stupid girls who can provide nothing but sex.   Some hobbists just want to have sex with good looking, skilled girls, some likes to play game to get personal connection with girls, some pay for whatever they want to get, it all varies.

The thought of spending countless hours searching for a date just doesn't interest me anymore. I have taken care of myself but I don't have the body or looks I did when I was young. I cannot compete with the young guys and most of the civvies I would be interested in would find it kind of creepy if an old guy like me pursued them in a social setting (not complaining, just stating the facts).  However I do have a healthy bank account that makes up for it. I see it as using the resources that are available to me.
Overnight or longer dates are a great way to spend down time on business trips and it's much more efficient to arrange a date with a professional that works with my schedule and will definitely spend the night. Besides, an overnight would be pretty boring just sitting around waiting for the next time. Dinner, movies, or doing whatever keeps things interesting and makes the whole experience more fun and interesting for both of us.
Just my .02, be safe

I've never gone on a date with a provider.  Just wouldn't be interested.  That's not what I want from the "relationship."  I guess it could enhance the rest, but I doubt it.

I've been in places where guys talk about getting to know the girls, and getting them to spend the day at the beach for free.  I didn't speak the local language, but then realized it was a blessing... Since it limited the need for extraneous conversation... about anything.

To me its like asking about going to dinner with my accountant.  She's a nice person, and it might be fun, but I really just need her to do my taxes.

Jayla not only looks HOT but seems to take good care of herself as well. Thank you for sharing a little more insight into your daily life.

I didn't post my original post to insult anyone, but here you post an insult... and behind an alias too. lol.

So let me get this straight. you are paying someone to keep you company cuz you couldn't find one of your own, and you're calling me a loser. ummm ok.

If you don't mind that then chances are, you probably don't mind paying guys to be your friend on friday evening, right? :-P

I'm sure when you were younger you had plenty of game. When I get older, I'll probably be glad to pay the cute 20 somethings for their time, assuming my bank account still exists by that time.

My 20's wasn't too far away actually, it was  less than a decade ago.  Back then I would have never even thought about seeing a provider... let alone paying the girl to go out with me. lol Kinda hurts my pride, actually.

I guess people gradually change depending on the circumstances... Same for providers too, they aren't going to be in their 20/30's forever either.

That's a part of the entrainment, and I don't mind paying well for entertainment.  If doing something makes you feel like a loser, chances are it's because you really are.

so I wasn't trying to be insulting.

I merely expressed that I felt like a loser for doing so, afterwords.  

You're paying for sex with that hot girlfriend, too, especially when a relationship goes bad.  You are often paying a provider more for the NSA aspect than for "dinner companionship.  Characterizing such a dinner as "watching them shove food down their throat...and yap, yap" sounds like a losing attitude to me, so maybe it's appropriate that you feel like one.  I just recently had a mutual birthday celebration with a provider.  Yes, I paid her a reduced rate for her time, but that was a very secondary consideration compared to the shared experience and connection with a very interesting woman.  I also just had a very interesting and satisfying LTR with an extremely attractive civvy half my age, so an inability to connect with and attract civvy companions is not a factor.  I paid for dinner and an extended date because I enjoy this woman's companionship.  Afterwards, I truly felt like a winner, not a loser.

Whether you intended to do so or not, the implication of your statement is that those of us who chose to do as I have just done are, indeed, losers.  Nothing personal, but I find that tone mildly irritating.

It takes time to establish a relationship but I usually get know some of the visiting talent and then propose paying for a 90 minute or 2 hr appointment along with dinner for no extra charge. These gals have to eat sometime and will usually prefer some companionship. In some cases we've gone dutch for the dinner. On one occasion I was asked to spend the night for no extra charge. I guess my sparkling personality just made her not want to let the night end. By the way I've never paid at the hourly rate for time spent at dinner. Like you it would make me feel like a loser.

I have gone out to dinner with a providers many times but not once had to pay for the time. I wouldn't have felt good if I did either.

When I feel that chemistry is there, I just ask her casually if she would join me for lunch or dinner, or to grab a bite, usually after a session but occasionally before one. That way, you would be assured that she wants to be with you and is not doing it for the money. Also, I don't like planned, formal dates anyway so it works out for me.

More than the smokin-hot provider ads above and below.  lmao

I guess it means it was at least an interesting topic for many folks...

if you didn't have to pay for her time?

with a girl who appreciates being there with me because she wants to...

so yes I totally agree with your response.

I want the girl to be there because she wants to be there with me and genuinely appreciate my company, not because she's paid to do so.

do guys look like chumps to you
or do you just treat it like a job and don't really care?

hmm, somehow I doubt you'll give a truthful answer since you can not post under an alias now. lol
but still I'd like to hear your thoughts.