This question may be more pertinent to the married hobbiest but everyone can certainly respond.
If your wife or significant other discovered that you are in this hobby how do you respond? Do you define you act with a particular provider as an extramarital affair or relationship. Would it fit into adultury? Would you deny having any relationship with anybody and respond that you are sexually overdriven and that is all? Do you need to be in love with another partner to be considered as an extramarital affair...
For me, there is a big distinction between an affair, which involves emotional attachment and questions of loyalty, and the hobby. I have been open with my SO about "getting massages" which are non threatening even though very intimate physically.
I can sugar-coat it all I want and I can justify it all I want to make myself feel btter, but at the end, I am breaking the vow and trust. It's something I'll have to live with, whether exposed or not
If you are married to someone else and you stick your penis in her vagina, it is adultery. There isn't really any ambiguity here. Also, I wouldn't upgrade whore-mongering to the status of an affair. If you develop a real relationship with someone, then it becomes an affair, regardless of whether money is directly involved or not.
I am sure that my wife suspects, but she doesn't know or want to know for sure. For her, it is the emotional intimacy that would be the bigger threat, not the sex. And yes, I am still in love with her even though she isn't the only one.
this question hits home for me as I will be walking down the aisle in 2 weeks. Been venturing out for over 6 years and really want to quit but i know for someone like me with alot of free time on there hands i know i am going to search the web and find a hit. From all the premarital counseling this is a BIG NO-NO based on my faith. One of the posters mentioned massages. i guess those are still ok as long as they dont include Happy's 1 would suppose. SIGH
Will you be promising to stay faithful to your wife? This is the biggest problem I have with my stepping out, the broken promise. I have rationalized it with the fact that she broke promises and didn't care to fix what was wrong before I stepped out.
"Based on your faith". Do you really have a faith if one of its basic tenets is not something you can adhere to? If this is not largely a marriage of convenience, you love the girl and want to keep her safe and happy, you will no longer stray--- because you value her, you value your word and avoiding hurting her will be more important than a fuck with a strange hottie.
W's discovery means nothing. She might discover (or have discovered) without my knowing she did. What she does with the discovery would determine how I would respond. Does she confront me? Ask why I've done it? Demand that I stop? Declare she's filing for divorce? Ask how the marriage can be fixed?
Seeing a provider is not an extramarital affair, but is is adultery. One does not need to be in love with a sex partner for it to be an affair--- repeated sex without direct compensation would be considered an affair in my book, though maybe it's arguably not if the relationship is a fuck-buddy only, so love is not required.
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