...have had more than "professional, P4P" feelings toward one or more providers.

I have on at least two occasions.  Of course, I'm no spring schiken, either.  I was in a very happy, monoganous relationship into my 60s.  Sex was never "casual"; it was something only shared with someone special.  For reasons that I won't get into here, I got into the hobby in my 60s.  I suppose it was only a conditioned response to feel something for a woman who will have sex with you.  I haven't allowed those feelings to inappropriately affect my "professional" relationship with the two ladies, but they have been there nevertheless.  I won't get into more details, because the two women are still active.

Just curious as to what your experience has been.  Providers are more than welcome to contribute from their perspective.

...to develop feelings sometimes for the ladies you have sex with. Been there myself. She was really sweet and would treat me like a king. Now she is retired.  I never voiced my feelings either.

You did the right thing by not letting it get in the way of your professional relationship with the women.

I think "fondness" describes what I feel. Like you, I'm in my 60s, and am well aware I am totally invisible to virtually any woman under 50. I was never Casanova but that was very annoying. So now I visit the professionals and their willingess to entertain me is something I appreciate very much. But it's never anything serious: I overtip, I respect, I feel so grateful that they look without revulsion at this sack of blemishes, avoirdupis, little crusty abraisons that I call a body and am willing to embrace it and please it in ways I cannot even describe to my wife. I would never betray one of them, yet I think it's important to see them cleaqrly: they are doing it for the dough, no matter what you believe; many of them tend to be a little flighty, and broken appointments, unanswred messages, lapses in their concentration, all that is common and you have to accept it an make friends with it. Do not let yur head get messed up: be decent and a gentleman and enjoy sharing intimacy with them but be aware they are in a shifty, tricky profession and if it comes down to a choice, they'll always chose their well being over yours.

When I was hobbying in DC i met a lady that i grew very found of. Eventually she became my ATF and I saw her exclusively until I met a civvy. But that lady provider was amazing. I remember our very first sessions were something amazing. I always had a blast with her. I lost contact cause I decided to pursue a relationship outside of the hobby.

Now currently back in the hobby elsewhere and I have found myself another ATF that I am beginning to have strong feelings for but I am always reminded that this is strictly professional.

with this now.


I'm new (less than one year) and one provider really made me question whether I should continue with the hobby.Some of the things she did and said made me wonder "Is she serious?..." but I would always use my "trust radar" to deflect it.

I don't see her any more.I think when you examine the P4P relationship logically, you'll see it's just a business for her.The real "what I was born to do with my life" professional courtesans, escorts, sensualists- whatever you want to call it- are few and far between.

Being a mid life guy and enjoying the hobby found myself swallowed up by a 20 something.   Yes she was a pro but she was filling an emotional gap that she saw I had.  It wasn't a good thing.   She eventually showed her true side and cut a session short and provided sub par performance with total indifference.  I took it just as a life lesson and will reduce this to what it is, cash for an hour sex, period.   At the end of the day I felt like a total fool on how I acted.

About six years back, I started with fbsm. The first provider I decided on was a beautiful blonde that I just clicked with. I remember that first session like it was yesterday...and she went waaay beyond the regular bodyrub. I was thinking, "damn, I'm gonna have to pay extra". But that wasn't the case and I went back a couple more times. We ended up seeing each other outside of the professional realm for a little while. The great thing was that she understood if I wanted to keep my hobby! It was nice while it lasted. Unfortunately, she moved and got out of the business, but we would still connect whenever she was in town. I've been out of hobbying for about 3 years and just getting back into it. I wouldn't have a serious relationship with a provider, but if there is another connection, I'm open to a casual relationship outside of it...just my 2 cents.

I do believe that since sex is as close/intimate a physical touch between two persons as it can get...that you would have to be made of stone not to have feelings for the woman you are with...as a fellow human being.

I am also in a profession that entails meeting many different people every day.  I enjoy my professional relationships with these people because of the professional challenges that these interactions entail.  In most cases that is as far as it goes.  In some cases however i do become more involved and it enriches my life to get to know these people better.  I do think some of my clients enjoy getting to know me as well.  There are some people that when i see them on my schedule, i get happy and look forward to seeing them and others who i simply cringe to see.  Maybe they feel the same way about me...yet the professional relationship continues in both cases. I would imagine that the P4P relationships between escorts and "hobbyists" are similar.  

I did have a unique experience recently though.  About 6 months ago I was traveling overseas (UK) and I made a date for an overnite with a very low volume lady i didnt know.  I had a WONDERFUL time.   Of course my head was in the clouds afterwards but i realized the professional relationship is just that.  Some thing unsual happened though.  She began to email me long emails about her life and hopes, family...really very sweet affectionate emails.  Again probably still professionalism however...if these emails were boilerplate....well then this lady should be a professional romance writer.
I recently again traveled again and spent several days with this lady in the UK. During this trip she introduced me socially (ONLY)  to her (twin) sister (who is not an escort) and we had a nice time hanging out and just getting to know each other over the course of about a week.   Of course I gave her a gift as usual but she acted hurt when i did...again could be great manipulation.  The last night she begged me not to use a condom....however i did not comply with this request....not suicidal yet.

She told me her REAL name.

I have since confirmed her story to me (married but separated, etc) about her personal life (facebook, google and other internet tools are amazing) except she lied about her age (she is 4 years older than she told me-that lie is a woman's prerogative in my book). That makes her 7 years younger than me.   I am a good judge of people -that is part of my profession- and I know she is a good person.....I feel touched by her in a personal way ....is it love, affection or just caring about someone you LIKE...well i dont know..do i care?  I know I care about her more than many people i have met in my life.
Maybe when some time has passed and our professional relationship has OFFICIALLY ENDED than perhaps there could be something more.  In the meantime i count her as a friend that I love to spend time with and get to know better.  Why not???   Remember....we are all going to die someday and we should make the best of out time here on earth.  Why not fill it with happy days with people you enjoy the company of ?????  It could all end today for any of us.
Let today be a good day then!

I got attached to one particular provider and thankfully she was receptive and cool about it. Things did not  end well but that was my fault not hers. I have made several provider friends who I see often and enjoy time off the clock with them when they are in town. The sex is always pay for play.

Ina few cases I have made at least casual friendships with providers and those friendships make the whole thing more enjoyable.  In one case I did find myself falling for a lady  a bit but it was obvious that it would never work and that the feelings really were not returned.

Heck I sometimes correspond with a guy that married an es provider  so it happens but my gut feel is that it is best to keep everything casual.

Being an older gent also, I thought the thrill of the chase and finding a hot younger woman was all but gone. Till I found out about this internet sex thing. I saw it on TV and followed it on a show called the "Secret Diary of a Call Girl." Then saw the politians getting it too (aka spitzer).  I hope to find this falling for a call girl thing one day. I realize it is all an alllusion, but I think I like theis GFE thing they are doing these days. It is better that picking them up on the road and negotiating through a car window, like in my youth back in the 70's.  I am a bit jaded though due to the whole stripper experience. Older and wiser too.

I have totally "Fallen" for a provider. The one in question looks like an old flame that almost killed me. The right side of the brain told me that it isn't going to ever work out so I keep things simple.
I see this provider on the reg and enjoy her company. We hang out and do other things outside the room. The moment I bring out a white envelope its play time. Other than that if I have time we hang, otherwise I just lov her from afar. If the home life were different could things get more serious? Probably not as from my past experiance things can get complicated real quick when you move past the romance stage.

...to never have feelings for any companion, especially one who is exceptionally sweet and gorgeous, after engaging in intimacy would require someone to have the sensitivity of a toilet seat (thanks to Holden Caulfield for that image of insensitivity). Have been there, done that, and with at least one lady, someone I met and saw on a regular basis for a couple of years shortly after I first wandered off the reservation early in 2007.  Not sure of all the reasons for what happened, but was very vulnerable at the time,  so perhaps should not have been surprised.  I think there something about her that reminded me of a Navy nurse I came to know and for whom I developed strong affection after a Forrest Gump experience in VN in the late 1960s--am an old fart. Do not recommend it.  Came to understand the hard way what the saying "There is no fool like an old fool" really means. We still occasionally talk, but think things would have been better for both of us had the relationship never became anything more than a commercial, quid-pro-quo relationship, or as your cast it, a "professional relationship."  But certain people touch more than the physical dimensions of us; they can also touch our hearts and minds, and bonds develop that we perhaps never intended. Anyway, our paths crossed for better or for worse and I cannot rewrite history.  If I could, there would have been a different story to tell, one that I believe would have been less painful for both of us.

for this to happen?

I remember reading a while back that a provider had "fallen in love" with her client on their first meeting.Really??? I know some have seen their ATF for years and developed similar feelings over that time.I guess if you see someone often enough (1-3 times a week- yuck!) it could happen sooner.In my case, it was a few sessions over a few months before I felt uncomfortable and cut the cord.Maybe not enough time but I couldn't imagine seeing the same person that often anyway.

Things are hardly ever black and white. There are few absolutes. Human contact runs through the whole spectrum from hate to love. The human contact in this activity is more intense than most. Enjoy whatever it is, go with your eyes wide open and understand the basis of the relationship. If it becomes something else and there is a mutual gain from it, then go with it. Don't force things though. It has to happen on it's own. Always be ready to be let down in the end.

....You're one of the reasons providers prefer older men.....they may have a tendency to catch feelings and become the Sugardaddy/ATM/Sucker!!

Ok so things just got complicated. More so than I figured. You see I know I fell for her, hard, But I always thought (or knew) that I was one of many, and that she had so many "Girlfriends". and Seriously guys we aren't all that good at sex, so why should I think I am special?

because of an incident that had nothing to do with me, but somehow was similar enough to me lead her to basically say you are no longer a friend or a customer (Double bummer). This lead to me just shaking my head in disbelief that I was judged without being asked a single question, nor do I do anything to her. During the whole time on the phone I really just listened. Some of the things she was upset at me about were valid to a point. but changed by the perspective at which it was intended.

So whats my point. In her flurry of emotion she let it slip that I some how "hurt" her by the volume of my shenanigans I somehow participated in while she was gone, because of this she didn't think she was special to me or that I was her friend, it kinda blew my mind, as to say I should almost be exclusive to her only? wow ok interesting spin on things, but the more I though about it, the more it made sense. I guess in this case there was more there than (From her side) I thought, and maybe my casual attitude gave her the impression she wasn't important, but that's the problem, What to do? Do I sweat her only to get the bomb dropped "Honey this is only fantasy" or do I play it safe?  I really can't see playing it any other way because at the end of the day, if you play this game with your heart, its gonna get trampled. Does it hurt, unfortunately this one does