I called an escort, Lynn Devine, yesterday and set up an tentative meeting for today.  She listed no email address on her web site, so I texted asking for her email address, and I replied with a short description and a list of references, including Sky Eden, with email addresses and phone numbers.

Several hours before our proposed meeting, I texted her again to confirm.  She called me and said that she did not feel comfortable meeting me.  I asked if she had emailed my references and she said that it was time consuming and she did not want to do that.  She wanted my drivers license and business card instead, but being unemployed (which I do not like revealing) that would be impossible.

I understand the need for references, but what is the purpose of references if the escort is too busy (or more likely too lazy) to check them?  And exactly how much time would she require to send an email requesting the reference?  Two minutes?

Should I be irritated that she would no take two minutes to send a pro-forma email to the addresses I gave her, resulting in our not meeting?

I have noticed that many escorts do not check the references that I give them.  Has anyone noticed that their references go unchecked?

Are any of you ladies available this morning

Some times, said providers to references do not respond or aren't 100% truthful so it can discourage us from wanting to do so--albeit, I check references regardless--but I can also see why you are irritated about it. It comes off as very self-serving and obstinate... why should one party put more effort than the other, when the meeting is suppose to be mutually beneficial no?

Will, in your case you probably have some right to be irritated.  You have an established presence on TER (reviews at least) and would likely be considered "low risk" by most providers.  However, each provider and client have the right to refuse any meeting.  When she called and said she did not feel comfortable meeting you, your best response would have been "I am sorry we won't be able to get together.  Have a great day.", and then move on.  Sometimes it sucks when you plan and it doesn't happen, but everyone here long enough has dealt or will deal with a date falling through.

On references, it can often take more than 1 day to get responses from references.  So expecting to set up a date on 24hrs notice may be unreasonable.

Personally, I would not see this particular provider based on the scenario you outline.  She asked for references, and then refused to check them, and then asked for something else for screening.  It is unprofessional and would make me worry about how lax she may be in covering HER tracks to not lead LE to her.

On a closing note, I would refrain from mentioning provider names in this context.  An issue between the two of you should stay there.

JB

END OF MESSAGE

I'm speechless.....Should you really be begging someone to take your money when you have many, many, many others willing to do so?

As far as the checking references thing........sounds like a "dog ate my homework" excuse

Come on dude toughen up.

.... I just cant risk it tho.  I also think its a good idea for the guy to send an email to the refs he gives giving them a heads up. Seriously.

Yep on P411 they hardly even check your profile. maybe 20% of the time.

I don't think they can see your reference info with out checking the profile???

to expect contact from another lady. Usually, they are happy to provide a reference and that I let them know in advance to expect a contact.

Over the years I have had a few dates that didn't happen.  No reason to get up tight, just move on and loosen up with another lady.

Not a big deal, I wouldn't sweat it.  There are plenty of good escorts out there who want your business.  Escorts have the right to choose their clients and decline when they don't feel comfortable due to the risks.  If this happens, just move on.  Everyone has this experience in the past where the screening gets stuck for some reason and it is a no go.  Sometimes I give references and the escort doesn't even check and still sees me because they feel comfortable with me.  I always have a long list of escorts that I really would want to see so I just move down to the next name.