To wit, I had a fucked up morning once and the provider waited two minutes after our scheduled time to publicly going ballistic.  There just isn't anything you can do in that situation but take your beating like a big boy and move on.

I have had providers no-call, no-show six times now. More so early in the hobby when I was naive, but also from some of DCs top providers.  In two of those scenarios I quickly made other arrangements and ended up finding my two ATFs that way.  Life is strange sometimes, blah blah blah.

To your specific questions:

1) Did I look to jump to LL2 too soon?  How long should you wait before deciding No Call No Show?

Absolutely not.  Given the shit I have put up with from unreliable providers (and they are very much THE EXCEPTION before I have to take another beating like a big boy....) I no longer have the tolerance.  If it is 30 minutes before meeting her and I still have no fucking idea HOW to meet her, I am moving on to plan B.  You waited too long in my opinion.

2) Was jumping to LL2 a fair plan?

Not only was it fair, it was wise.

3) Once LL2 offered a time, was I now committed?

Yes.  She was right to be pissed.  You got that one wrong.  Don't beat yourself up, this is a difficult market dominated by Type A personalities.  It is hard to know the right thing to do in the heat of the moment sometimes.  but you did get that one wrong.

4) Are there so many "game players" out there that every scenario gets tarnished with that brush? Thanks!

Yes.  Yes there are.  Nothing to add there.

I will only deal with one provider at a time... It keeps things simple for both the parties..

You did couple of things that I wouldn't do...I will call them mistakes, but you can call them whatever you want - perhaps "lessons learned".

I would never schedule an appointment with 3.5 hrs of open block. Shit happens. If you were hobbying in DC area, the smallest fender bender on the highway can derail the scheduled appointment.

The other thing I wouldn't do is try and juggle two ladies at once...If first one doesn't pan out. No big deal. Some other day....Some other time... Personally for me its no big deal if I don't get laid. This thing is called "hobby" for a reason. Its supposed to be recreational. It shouldn't be stressing you out..  Its not like you are going to bed without food or much needed medicine - although some people treat it that way.

Third thing I would not do is I would not show all my cards to the opponent in this proverbial game of poker. What was the need to babble to the 2nd lady that you had shit scheduled with another lady and wanted to cancel. You could have just made some shit up.. OK. Now, I am not advocating dishonesty, but you started out with a shitty decision (to juggle two ladies) and dug yourself in a deeper hole with another shitty decision.

Oh well... Playing games it is... At least from the 2nd lady's POV.

Lessons learned...I hope.

-- Modified on 1/23/2013 7:09:06 AM

I guess her computer was dead too so she couldn't send you an e-mail. She was playing  some kind of game with you, that's for sure. Maybe her supposedly better deal fell thorugh so she finally replaced her 'dead' battery. You kept your end of the bargain by waiting for 15 minutes. You are entitled to go to your backup once she stood you up. The only so called mistake is not keeping your commitment to your backup, in my humble opinion.

#1.  No.  Your window was short, so further delay might prevent anything from happening.
#2.  Yes.  Lack of return confirmation on the morning from LL1 already put the appointment in some doubt.
#3.  Somewhat committed but not irretrievably.  LL2 not likely to have anything else booked for that time on the short notice, so no lost opportunity cost for her and also she likely didn't invest a lot of prep time and no travel time before your cancellation.  LL2 has the right to feel whatever ire she felt, but to me a mild annoyance is all that was justified.  Wouldn't she want to be treated as you treated LL1 if she were in her place?  Either choice was justified, IMO. You would have been justified to tell LL1 that you booked a backup since you hadn't heard from her all day.  
#4.  Don't know, haven't met too many.

Speaking from my own experiences, I can sometimes just take some time off from work to go play, but I have to put some effort and resources into covering my time away and arranging transportation.  I wind up with some very specific windows of time, and I need to have things arranged by a certain point, or I move on.

I always make it clear that I expect a definite confirmation the day before, and there needs to be a more definite contact plan than "she will email me sometime, probably before 3:00 PM".  It helps if you can be forthright about everything else, so she doesn't think you're lining up four options to pick from at go-time.  I've talked with guys who did something like that, and while I understand having a backup plan, don't make promises you won't keep.

I've been known to sometimes contact a potential backup and say, "Hey, I might have some time on Day X, here's my screening information, would it be OK if I check in with you if my schedule frees up?"  If she says, "Nope, only talking to people who will book specific times", then I move on; no harm, no foul.  You would be surprised at how many tentative responses you can get, though. (It sounds creepy to call this "putting out feelers", so I don't.)  Everyone understands about schedule holes, and as long as you're not inflicting one on them, many people will work with you, if you've given them enough advance notice.

I make sure that Plan A has been told that I need to hear from her by a certain time, or I consider us non-confirmed.  I give myself enough time that I can start checking in with Plans B, C, and D... and I also keep open the idea that things might just fall through.  It's not the end of the world, aggravating though it might be.

For your particular questions...

#1 -- You gave LL1 plenty of time -- too much, IMO.  You were totally justified in exploring other options.  At 1 hour before game time, I'm already on my way; if I haven't heard from her, she has missed the deadline.

#2 -- It was totally fair.  

#3 -- Depends on the way it was worded.  If you said, "I'd love to see you, here's my window and my screening info, what can you do?" and she comes back with a time in that window, you made a commitment.  If instead you said, "I'm available in this window, how about you?", and she said, "I am able to do Time X if you pass screening", that was simply an "inquiry with intent", so to speak.  You were doing something more than "kicking the tires", but it doesn't get to the level of "made an appointment".  Based on what you've written here, I think you were approaching the line, but veered away before you got too close.  LL2 is probably annoyed that she felt a fish nibbling at the hook, but she couldn't set it; some effort in securing customers is to be expected.

#4 -- Yes.  It doesn't take a lot of people pissing in the pool before people get nervous about putting their face in it.  You gave LL2 too much information; you should have just said, "Things have come up and my availability has just disappeared.  Thanks for your effort in screening me, and I hope we can meet up sometime soon."  Now, she can't save face, and has to accept that the opportunity was lost.