"Unless you are close with the provider, it is an unnecessary exposure of personal info."
I disagree. It would make me think you have something to hide. And from the tone of your post, you must be a little concerned with some of your posts here.
"For those who are relatively quiet and hardly post, giving out TER handle obviously does not matter much... because there isn't anything to be scrutinized about. However, for active participants on the boards, I now feel that giving out TER handle can do more harm than good because it exposes unnecessary information that the provider does not need to know at least not before establishing a mutual trust between you and her."
Why are you so concerned about being scrutinized? I see lots of gents who are active on the boards. I don't come on here looking for all their posts anyway. Who has the time?! Once again, you must be worried about some of your posts. So I say if you cannot stand behind what you post here, maybe you need to reel it in a bit.
"** Note that this is NOT about 'having something to hide'. I don't. Rather, it's about dealing with the fact that you can't please everyone."
This is not what it looks like to me. You obviously are concerned with the ladies seeing your posts here. So as much as you say this is not about having something to hide, it is exactly about that. I think we are all intelligent to realize that no one can please everyone all the time. You not sharing your handle is due to negative posts or an expression of your opinion you would rather not completely share with everyone. If you are worried about ladies seeing your expressed opinions here, all that tells me is that you are not willing to stand behind your own opinions.
"A long time senior mod on TER has said that if there's one thing he learned from all the years he has been a mod, it is that the easiest way to get attacked/scrutinized is to be an active participant on the boards and post frequently under the same or identifiable handle. Fact is, certain people get sensitive over something as trivial as a spelling error, your choice of handle, choice of words, the TER friends you associate with, or something you wrote on the boards or in your reviews.... even if you only had the best intentions."
I have been posting for over 3 years. I don't worry about being scrutinized or attacked because I stand behind my posts here. I also try not to be rude/impolite to people. I am not saying I have never been rude or impolite. But I try to post here as if I am face to face with someone. So please forgive me, because I am not buying it.
"You simply can't please everyone. Everyone has a pet peeve and a personal preference."
That's true. But you are going to spend an hour, maybe two or maybe a dinner date with the lady p4p. Honestly, even if you did have some less than desireable posts here, I would still see you. Most ladies would. Why? Because it is business. I am not concerned about your personal expression here unless you are a complete ass.
"I almost never reveal my TER handle during screening because of these reasons. The ladies who know my real contact info + real handle are close friends who are close enough that it doesn't matter what I say on these boards since they already know before it even gets posted.
The providers who happen to know my handle (without being a close friend) were due to special circumstances, and indeed some of these led to problems. I'm starting to think that senior mod was right. One lady appeared to be offended by something I said about her friend, a complete misunderstanding, and we're no longer communicating. She wasn't my type anyway but still enjoyed communicating with her. Another lady was apparently upset that I didn't take her side (my best guess) during a discussion. Another lady expressed disappointment because I saw someone else while she was in town, apparently she found out from one of my posts and caught my white lie."
So basically you just don't want new ladies to know your handle? :/ I guess once a lady gets to know you it's okay? Nope. By your own statement it appears to be worse once they know you better. There are going to be misunderstandings in life. Deal with them head on like a man. If a provider confronts you about seeing someone else, let her know this is what you do! Tell her flat out that you hobby so you can see lots of different ladies. If she doesn't like it, don't see her anymore. Who the heck needs that kind of drama?! Also if a provider has something to say about your posts here, for crying out loud, just stand behind them!
"Most annoying was when a lady has gone so far as to contact almost all the ladies I've seen from my whitelist & reviews, contacted everyone trying to dig up more info such as my occupation, income, and other personal stuff.
Depending on your perspective, it could be flattering.... but it's also a bit freaky, annoying, and an unnecessary exposure of info."
I do not know any ladies who do that. I know that one or two might be contacted. But I cannot see anyone having the time nor the desire to contact all of the ladies on your whitelist. Well unless there are only 2 or 3. I would assume the lady is trying to screen you with the limited information you provided her. Maybe she feels a bit nervous about you for some reason. I don't know. I can only speak for myself and say that I never go through the whitelists and contact every single lady you have seen. I only contact a few. Enough to make me feel comfortable and safe enough to see you.
"What do you guys think?"
I am not a guy. But here's what I think: The ladies reviews are a tool we all use to see if the person (client or provider) is someone we are going to click with. We also use them to confirm you are a legitimate hobbyist who is seeing legitimate ladies. So you might be atadbitshy. But I think if you are not sharing your handle, you must have a reason you need to hide it. I say stand up. Be a man. Stand behind your written word. And if you cannot, then maybe you should rethink what you post here.
