would get "all over the internet".
First, you could be ARRESTED and the cops will DEFINITELY put your info all over the 'net. A relatively big risk when playing on BP, and a big problem for your life most likely.
Second, a lady you have seen could blacklist or "out" you. A relatively small risk (assuming you are respectful and not a creeper) that is even smaller with a more respected and "savvy" lady. Probably not as huge or insurmountable a problem as being arrested, IMHO.
The general wisdom seems to be that you are best served disclosing personal info ONCE to a verification service like P411, and then never having to disclose it again - except by choice.
If you have references and P411, you are probably good to go with many providers. If the ladies you have seen will not provide references, you may need to see a "Newbie Friendly" provider. Expect to give up some additional personal info to see her. Once you have a few references (P411 OK's), you are good to go with many providers without providing that personal info.
I probably left a lot out of that, but the point is that I think you are being penny-wise and pound-foolish about your approach to managing hobby risks. It seems that you have been going about this in what may be the most risky way possible.
Do you use a hobby phone and hobby email account