I am heading to dc in a few weeks and was hoping to hit a club up but I heard they all suck.  Do any offer any lap dances?  I think I saw stadium club has VIP rooms.

Price per hour and ROI, it's worth it. Fixed fee, fixed outcome in a fixed time. No having to splurge on overpriced sparkling wine and beg the girl for hours to touch your manhood. The Strip clubs in DC are pathetic (in comparison to other major cities). In fact, the whole SC scene has taken a nose dive in the last 5 or so years.

The City Laws state that you are not allowed to touch a dancer at all in D.C.  If you do and the dancer feels disrespected or threatened in anyway, you are fresh meat for the bouncers and they will punish you with no regret.  The Camelot in NW does have some of the hottest ladies that you will ever see but prepare to loose a small fortune.  No covers but drinks are very pricy and you will be asked to leave in a hurry if you are not drinking and tipping!  There are a few fun and solid ones in Baltimore but that's a hike if your actually staying in the City.  Finally, I managed one of these establishments in the past and still run a bar in the city so this is valid info and not 2nd hand etc.

There is no action to be had. Plus you might get robbed, beat up or worse.

I havent been to the Block in B'more in many years but back in the late 90's you could definitely have a good time and maybe only be $200 lighter in the wallet. I'll never forget I was in the Pussy Cat Club getting a hand job at the bar and when it was obvious this wouldnt achieve "success", the dancer followed me back into the mens room and finished me off with a fantastic BBBJ! Not sure if thats even possible anymore.

The ebony inn and fuegos strip club. Enjoy. Both are in PG county Maryland.

Obviously you didn't meet the club's standards in DC. High rollers are set up with the club's dancers by the club management. Sorry you didn't make the cut. Over the decades at DC strip clubs I have had clients entertained after hours back at their hotel rooms by a few dancers numerous times. At the Crystal City Restaurant if you would have spent some time  with the right dancer(s) she would have gone home with you if you and George The Animal Steel weren't twin brothers.

Isn't that excessive and a bad roi? Spending all that time and $$$ just to maybe end up with a HJ? It's not like all the money spent through-out the night gets you a goodwill discount for the overnight or the main event. That will still cost you.  For all that money spent I would rather go with an established provider where I know what I'll end up with and know what I have to pay. It's Russian roulette with SCs where sometimes you are 500 in and you still haven't paid for the main event.

just wont go away will it?

He's either a cop or owns the CCR (or both) and is just trying to set you up.  

And youre exactly right, you could spend several hundred dollars or more and end up with nothing.