I used to live in high rise apartment building.  I used to rent back then, and not own, and was comfortable having girls over w/o having to deal with nosy neighbors. So I was going back and forth with a gal, who used to specialize in late nights and early morning appointments, as she would provide around her regular job. After about 8 months of back and forth we finally got around to setting something up.. She was actually the 3rd provider that I had on my list after discovering  TER, back in 2004 (First being DC Simone, and second being Lila...)

So we set up something for about 11:30 P.M. She comes over right on time.. We are making out, and my phone rings.. Its my Dad on the other line.. Like an obedient child, I answer the phone.. I take the phone, all naked by the way, with a raging boner, in the other room. Not that she would understand what I was saying anyway, as I wasn't talking in English to begin with. When I come back after couple of minutes, my boner gone, I find her dressed with my envelope in her hand.. She gave me my envelope, said good bye, and left..My limp noodle in one hand, envelope in other, I am just shocked at what happened to extent that I am rendered speechless.

I emailed her later on, and asked what happened..I get a response saying we are not a good fit..I think she thought I was LE or something..lol...

-- Modified on 12/3/2014 10:42:56 AM

In retrospect, the fire alarms!

This has happened to me twice. Different friends. Different locations. Months apart.
Each time, we were in the middle of the "having the most fun" part of our date when the hotel fire alarms went off. Both times, the alarms were quickly followed by repeated loud speaker announcements of "This is not a drill. I repeat. This is not a drill! Evacuate the premises at the closest stairway!"  Good Lord. Talk about a quick exit. What really made the first episode that much more funny was the text I received from my lady friend (first time I saw her) 20 minutes after we bolted from the room. It read, "Hey Darlin'.  That was scary. Hope you're OK. We'll make up the missed 38 minutes next time, OK?"  
The second episode is still laughed about with regularity with "Lady Flame". She's still one of my ATF's

I have had several, but a memorable one happened over a decade ago. In fact, this is how met my long-time ATF.

She was and is an absolutely beautiful statuesque blue-eyed blonde. Her pictures suggested someone very much put together and in no way slovenly.

It was the first time we had met. I arrived at her incall hotel, called her, got the room number and proceeded upstairs. Thankfully there were few people around as it was mid-afternoon. I arrived at the top of the stairs and turned right to find her room. You can imagine my surprise when I saw the door open, an open pizza box on the bed with pieces of pizza strewn about.  There were beer bottles in various states of emptiness all over the small room. No one was anywhere to be seen. I heard the faint sounds of one or two televisions in the distance, but there was absolutely no one in the hallway.  

I thought to myself that I had certainly misread this person. I was quietly thanking the gods that neither she nor anyone else was around so I could quietly extricate myself without any explanation or embarrassment.  

I heard a door open up the hall and the lady poked her head out looking for me. You can imagine my relief when I realized she had simply given me the wrong room number!  We hugged, we kissed, we laughed at the situation. The rest is history..

he funniest was when we had the earthquake summer of 2011, I think. I was on top, having a great time and just O when it happened. I got kind of dizzy and in that second didn't know what was going on. Quickly looked at my partner, then at the closet where all the hangers were still bouncing, then at him surprised and shocked. We were both stunned but I remember we still didn't move for another few minutes. My hands were shaking for a bit after. I also lived in a high rise and everyone had to evacuate after that for precaution. That is a sweet and funny memory to have.

   Another is flooding a hotel toilet with a FC condom while the gent was in the shower. Had to rush him out before maintenance came. Learned my lesson!

  Third is burning a robe with a candle trying to set the mood putting the robe over the lamp. Someone stopped that happening again very recently. Still learning, lol., or forgetting

So I was having a time of my life with this hot young blonde at a 4-star Hilton hotel. She was dressed up like a cheerleader and I managed to get her top off to show her magnificent C-cups. I lied down on my bed and she gave me one of the most intense BBBJ I've ever had. I was getting close to blowing, so I was about to ask her to slow down because I wanted to cum in her ass (with cover, of course!).  

Then I hear a thick Spanish accept saying "house cleaning!". For some reason the cleaning maid gave less than a half second before opening the door, or perhaps she was throwing out the word as she was opening the door. Also for some reason, my girl did not engage the door stopper-thing and the maid basically walked straight into the middle of the room with me splayed out and the girl going town on me wearing nothing but checkered short cheerleader skirt. The maid, a middle-aged short woman, slowly backed away with her cart, with her bewildered eyes locked onto mine the entire time. Awkward...

 
Another time, I was meeting a hot college co-ed who gave me a great fuck and anal sex few months earlier. Needless to say, I was quite looking forward to pound into that sweet ass again, as I was driving to her incall. Her location was again a nice 4-star Hilton (different one) and I used rear entry (heh) lobby that leads up to the main lobby with the elevator. As soon as I stepped through the extra-large automatic revolving door, I was greeted with several dozens of men wearing uniforms and badges! It turns out that the hotel was having a police-firemen convention of some sort!! So, gathering my wits together, I calmly waded through a lobby filled with LEOs chattering away and reached to the elevator. Later it made a hilarious convo piece!

-- Modified on 12/3/2014 10:53:59 AM

I went to check into my hotel and there was a girl in front of me with her purse and a bag a small carry on. I don't know why but I immediately thought "working girl". The bag was pretty small for someone traveling and carrying actual clothes, shoes, toiletries. Like she was there for the short stay.  Anyway when she was checking in I heard her room number , 210.

  I then checked in and was up in my room hen my client texted that he had arrived and was ready to come up. I texted him and a few minutes had passed without a knock ever coming at my door. I went to text him "everything ok?" when I had noticed I sent him to room 210. My room was 310 and I had sent him to that girls room.

 I quickly texted " say sorry mistake and get up here" My client showed up at the correct door this time laughing and I said What happened? He had knocked on the door and the girl answered. She had cracked open the door and looked confused? My client mumbled something and then the girl asked him what his name was. My client told her and she shook her head no, and said wrong room and she also told him her name.  

  So she was working and was confused that maybe somehow her client had already seen her come on and somehow knew her room number. Lol didn't happen during the appt but we found it amusing.  

  Another time a towel caught on fire in my bathroom from a candle. We caught it in time and fun and laughs were had by all. Amen

Here's my story

I made an appointment with a traveling lady I had previously seen a couple of times. We had gone out to dinner "off the clock" after my last appointment, so I knew her pretty well. When I called to confirm on the day of our meeting, I asked if she wanted me to bring something to eat or drink. She said there is a Chinese place she loves, but it is nowhere near the hotel. I said, no problem I would bring carryout and asked what she wanted. Then she asked me to also bring some condoms, as she was running low and would not have a chance to go get any. I agreed.

Fast forward three hours and I show up for the appointment, food and condoms in hand. I said we should eat first, while it is fresh. So we enjoyed a nice meal together on the bed. Then we set the Styrofoam boxes aside, turned off the lamps and transitioned to other things. Eventually I pulled out the condoms, opened the box and rolled one on. Much joy ensued.

After the deed, we were relaxing and chatting, and she rolled over to clean up and put the leftovers in the mini-fridge. All of a sudden she turns around with an incredulous look and yells, "Oh my God! What kind of condoms are these?!" Holding up the wrapper and splashing liquid on her, me and the bed. I looked at what she had in her hand and it was... an open soy sauce packet from the Peking Duck Gourmet!

The good news is that both of us were buck naked at the time, so we didn't get that stuff all over our clothes. The bad news (for her) was that sbe had to sleep in the bed that reeked of soy sauce. (And I wondered if the clients who saw her after me could smell it.) In the end, we sure had a great laugh together in the bath tub as we showered that sticky mess off

Provider farted when we were changing positions. We both got a good belly laugh and it broke the ice. We got along well after that and had many subsequent dates.

...in a small midwest hotel a bunch'o years ago.  She and I laughed about it when she finally found her way to my room.

The next morning in the hotel breakfast room, some big ol' guy with a cowboy hat, boots, and gigantic belt buckle started crowing loudly about how some "pros-ti-tute" showed up at his door the night before.

I've never slouched down so far in my chair, trying to hide behind a bowl of Cheerios, in my life!  

Not funny at the time, but pretty darn hilarious now!!!