There probably should be a place to keep track of those incidents. If its documented for others to see, it probably will cut down on these incidents.
Hi. Recently I arranged to see a well-known local provider. In a nutshell, I was stood up twice (I arrive at the location, but the provider suddenly cancels), and cancelled on once (a last minute text of "I can't do it today, I just can't" with no other explanation). The story is actually more irritating that just that.
I don't think I've ever started a discussion and I typically don't post reviews if I had a bad experience - I just would prefer to not say anything at all than say something bad (I mean unless it's a ripoff or dangerous).
In this case it's not a ripoff, it's not dangerous, but seriously wtf? 3 times? There will not be a fourth attempt despite the discount she has offered me (and in my opinion, for being blown off 3 times you're due for a freebie).
Just wondering about the question of posting negative experiences in discussion (as I didn't even get the change to exchange donations I cant write a review). What do you think, would you share such an experience in the discussion boards?
-- Modified on 4/1/2017 7:13:56 PM
Would have to know the circumstances surrounding why she cancelled.
2) look around other forums to see if anyone has had the same issue with her. If she's doing this to other clients as well I would post about it.
She may just be having a difficult time with family/kids, job, health, etc and letting focus slip on her business. Or she may be doing this frequently and clients don't post about it because of her popularity.
There is another post on the discussion boards talking about her flakiness, but three times is pretty extreme.
The other poster wondered at the circumstances and the answer is, I don't know. The only time she explained anything was the last time when she suddenly - and I mean, suddenly as in, I had already parked at the location - realized she was having her period. She didn't think I believed her - I pretty much did, though - so she texted me some photos of bloody things: This was one of the 'it's actually worse than that' experiences I referenced in my first post. Because I don't want to see those things and such photos shouldn't be texted (unless by request, of course - I'm sure some people get off on that, but not me).
Then I would out her. Consistent flakiness and bizarre behavior across multiple clients is a shitty way to run a business. Women in general and especially providers know their body and when their period is coming. It doesn't just start bleeding without any warning. She should have also been prepared with appropriate items to take care of it. The pictures are unprofessional as well.
She's wasted a lot of your time and effort and other clients' as well. Don't feel bad for leaving constructive criticism. It may be the wake up call that she needs to be a better provider.
I thought you were very spot on except for this comment: "It doesn't just start bleeding without any warning."
Of course it can depending on the person and the circumstance. I'm pretty sure you haven't taken a survey. Not everyone is like clockwork or every 30 days per se. I don't know how being a provider would mean knowing your schedule better. Either you have one and know it pretty well or you don't. Some types of birth control can throw a major wrench in the schedule (longer periods, random spotting, no periods) and I'd hope that full-on providers would commonly be on a BC in addition to using a cover. In that way they might actually be less likely to know their schedules.
If it were me I wouldn't cancel unless I was in horrible pain or something and obviously no bloody pics although it seems to signal she wanted to make it clear she wasn't blowing him off and that aspect of it was good. Maybe instead of talking about the provider behind her back she could have gotten fair warning after the 1st or 2nd time that hey sorry but if the next appointment is cancelled then he'd report it. That would have probably saved him hassle since if she knew she wasn't that serious, she wouldn't book the 3rd time and risk the negative attention...I think. But it seems dumb to try 3 times anyway. Just saying.
She could have had a bad case of diarrhea...Lmao I
The other poster wondered at t tohe circumstances and the answer is, I don't know. The only time she explained anything was the last time when she suddenly - and I mean, suddenly as in, I had already parked at the location - realized she was having her period. She didn't think I believed her - I pretty much did, though - so she texted me some photos of bloody things: This was one of the 'it's actually worse than that' experiences I referenced in my first post. Because I don't want to see those things and such photos shouldn't be texted (unless by request, of course - I'm sure some people get off on that, but not me).
Jerk emotional rant via a review. I am surprised she has not at all shared with you the reason she had to do this once- let alone 3 times. I would not book with her again...just me, but I would not as I think you should expect her disrespect of your time at this point. I do believe that other hobbiests would appreciate knowing if a lady had a habit of no show or extremely late canceling. We want to know about that so we can avoid it if that is the habit of a gent. That being said, we are people and people have untoward moments in their lives etc that are unavoidable. I am very upfront and would have told you the rationale as to the circumstances. Yes, I have no doubt that I would give you a freebie as it is some sort of consilitory effort.
So sorry this has happened to you.
I don't think I've ever started a discussion and I typically don't post reviews if I had a bad experience - I just would prefer to not say anything at all than say something bad (I mean unless it's a ripoff or dangerous).
In this case it's not a ripoff, it's not dangerous, but seriously wtf? 3 times? There will not be a fourth attempt despite the discount she has offered me (and in my opinion, for being blown off 3 times you're due for a freebie).
Just wondering about the question of posting negative experiences in discussion (as I didn't even get the change to exchange donations I cant write a review). What do you think, would you share such an experience in the discussion boards?
-- Modified on 4/1/2017 7:13:56 PM
-- Modified on 4/2/2017 9:30:45 AM
I had the EXACT same question a couple of weeks ago in Tidewater. I asked TER Support--we cannot do a review of a NC/NS because no meeting ever took place. They said posting in the Regional Board was the correct procedure. On (ahem) a different site, there is a set place to post NC/NS reports; that leads to flame-wars, but honestly, if someone cancels without a good reason at the last second, isn't willing to give a cancellation fee (in the case of men) or discount next time (women), etc. you have to call them out on their BS if it's an actual habit or practice, men as well as women.
I've been stood up way more than that, wherever I've been. It hasn't been all that bad here in Tidewater but I was really PO'd when this girl, who has good reviews on here, did it to me on a busy Friday evening rush-hour (and it was her 2nd time doing that to me--but I didn't tell anyone about the first time because it was six month ago and I didn't have to drive)...
Although the bloody pics is simply bizarre behavior and just gross.
This recently occurred to me, so I will out myself. I had a gentleman contact me several months ago. He was less then forthcoming with his information, it was like pulling teeth. I called him back, from the number that he used and it was a direct number to a known hotel chain, used by LE.
I never made the appointment obviously and was a NCNS, since I had no number. he called a month later, again with a motel number and then with 2 different emails, 2 different professions. I never agreed to see him this time, but he assumed that I had! LOL.
The gentleman flips out, threatening a revenge review. I know you can't write a review, if you have not seen a lady, but easy enough to lie. I ignore him, as clearly not my first rodeo.
Fast forward...He contacts me again, this time I DO verify who he is, through another provider. I do agree to see him, with a non deserved discount, in my opinion, but as a good will gesture. The night of, I am lost and attempt to call him and dang, again no real cell info, only his office number. WTF!
A subsequent slew of emails from him, from 2 different emails. Are you kidding me? I would NEVER risk my safety for someone who is so lacking in consideration for my safety. I have been doing this for many years sans issues because I do it on my terms and comfort level. Once my spidey senses kick in, I am out, though I should have NEVER agreed to the appointment. I do own that.
Sometimes you gentleman just don't get it and are squirrelly with info or the way you approach things. Not saying the op is, I clearly have no clue.
If someone is to enjoy my company and mine his, his need for discretion is no greater then mine. Never ignore your gut ladies and for the gentleman, understand our need for safety and comfort.
Would I ever put myself in this position again. The answer is NO. My body, my safety, my rules Lots of ladies have easier screening, that's ok. I never need the money that badly.
Peace
-- Modified on 4/2/2017 2:57:38 AM
-- Modified on 4/2/2017 3:00:19 AM
We don't know her side of the story. It has happen to me as well.
If my gut tells me something is going on, If I noticed something fishy on the screening information , I would cancel too.
My safety is my priority.... plenty of ladies around that are careless (dont want to offend anyone), or don't screen like me and my dear lady friends do... that's why I am so picky about the ladies that I duos with too.
And like Angelina said, I never needed the money so desperately that I would put my safety and confort first.
#notallmoneyisgoodmoney
This recently occurred to me, so I will out myself. I had a gentleman contact me several months ago. He was less then forthcoming with his information, it was like pulling teeth. I called him back, from the number that he used and it was a direct number to a known hotel chain, used by LE.
I never made the appointment obviously and was a NCNS, since I had no number. he called a month later, again with a motel number and then with 2 different emails, 2 different professions. I never agreed to see him this time, but he assumed that I had! LOL.
The gentleman flips out, threatening a revenge review. I know you can't write a review, if you have not seen a lady, but easy enough to lie. I ignore him, as clearly not my first rodeo.
Fast forward...He contacts me again, this time I DO verify who he is, through another provider. I do agree to see him, with a non deserved discount, in my opinion, but as a good will gesture. The night of, I am lost and attempt to call him and dang, again no real cell info, only his office number. WTF!
A subsequent slew of emails from him, from 2 different emails. Are you kidding me? I would NEVER risk my safety for someone who is so lacking in consideration for my safety. I have been doing this for many years sans issues because I do it on my terms and comfort level. Once my spidey senses kick in, I am out, though I should have NEVER agreed to the appointment. I do own that.
Sometimes you gentleman just don't get it and are squirrelly with info or the way you approach things. Not saying the op is, I clearly have no clue.
If someone is to enjoy my company and mine his, his need for discretion is no greater then mine. Never ignore your gut ladies and for the gentleman, understand our need for safety and comfort.
Would I ever put myself in this position again. The answer is NO. My body, my safety, my rules Lots of ladies have easier screening, that's ok. I never need the money that badly.
Peace
-- Modified on 4/2/2017 2:57:38 AM
-- Modified on 4/2/2017 3:00:19 AM
-- Modified on 4/2/2017 11:35:12 AM
Interesting topic. Briefly, my thoughts:
1) I have cancelled on people and they have also cancelled on me. Whenever I cancel, I always do my best to provide enough lead time so that the provider has enough time to adjust her schedule.
2) If I do cancel on a provider, I will generally tip her the next time and I will never cancel twice in a row.
3) Generally speaking, cancelling doesn't offend me unless it occurs when I am en route and/or have already committed some sort of resources.
4) It is probably worthwhile to institute a 3 strikes and your out rule. In other words, if someone cancels 3 times in a row, then just forget about them.
In general, I think that everyone values open communication. I have had my share of ladies flake out on me, confuse me with other people that they have seen, and I have felt jerked around too often. I have also had ladies retaliate for providing objective feedback (which is why I am reluctant to post anything negative about anyone). I don't get offended if a lady is straightforward and clearly communicates to me that she doesn't want to see me -- for whatever reason (bonus points if she provides one) early on. But hate having my time wasted.
-- Modified on 4/2/2017 12:19:18 PM
'Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you.
Before it gets to 3 times, I'm throwing up the peace sign.'
After 2 times you're not being fooled, you ARE just a fool.
Okay maybe not but you are reading this!
Think about it thus way. If she dies this often enough, she will put herself out of business. No need for you to do anything but move on.
Who the lady in question is so I can be assured that I will be mindful of her actions should I even be interested in seeing her. Sorry I cannot just side with you on your story but as I am sure you recognize, we have only heard your description. Without knowing her circumstances, we simply cannot form an educated opinion.
As for posting the "story", if it is done without naming names and is without name calling and/or nasty, unnecessary comments and such, I say post it (I know, you already have in a shortened version). This is what boards like TER are for, to share experiences that keep everyone safe and informed.
Guys like myself who would like to know who the lady is will ask you as I am going to now....please, if you have the chance to do so and can PM me here, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
And move on. She isn't dangerous just flakey. Just like I don't think guys should be outed on the Blacklist sites for canceling apps, even if they are repeat offenders I don't think the girls should be outed here. UNLESS they are dangerous and doing harm to others.
-- Modified on 4/3/2017 10:29:04 AM
if i were you i would ask for a free session and see what she says.. i know i have had a horrible month the last two months and for me i could see both sides of the debate.. maybe something was going on intense with her ...
i have seen it go both ways..
There probably should be a place to keep track of those incidents. If its documented for others to see, it probably will cut down on these incidents.