OK, my up front apologies for the tone of this post which sounds very critical of providers.  I don't mean it that way, I have had some great experiences on most occasions but today I wanted to provide some constructive feedback and ask a few questions.

I generally prefer massage/tantra/ some light BDSM and toy play.   I have responded to  a number of ads only to be disappointed when the provider doesn't get to the thing I want most.  I am fairly shy and easy going so I have never called anyone out about it but I find myself less that satisfied after sessions because the service I was looking forward to most wasn't provided (or the provider doesn't seem into it when she does it).   During the session, I think "well we talked about this beforehand, she's knows I want it and she is choosing not to do it, so I guess she's not "into it"  And I don't ask - I know I probably should but I feel it ruins the moment.  By the way, I am talking about things like kissing, dirty talk and perhaps some role play, so nothing outrageous or over the top.

I try to be very clear up front that these things are really important to me but on numerous occasions they have been ignored.   Why don't providers just say "I don't do that" up front?

Do providers tend to have a set session that they offer regardless of what the client requests?  I have noticed very similar reviews for a few providers where they seem to follow the same steps for each session.  I have gone back to one local BDSM provider in the area three or four times and she tends to do the exact same session each time despite getting requests to mix it up each time.  I stopped going to her despite the fact that she is very good because I couldn't get her to change it up a bit.

The sexiest and hottest experiences for me are when I feel that the provider is "into it" and enjoying herself and her sexuality.  

Finally, my last pet peeve, and this has happened with two providers recently, they talk and talk and talk about random things like their cat, their other clients, their sister, traffic, a contractor that didn't show up etc.  One person I saw last week, did this during the good part of the session as we were in the act!  I was ready to scream STFU!  Talk about a buzzkill.  

Anyway, sorry for the negative feedback, I felt the need to vent today.

And why are you not speaking your mind with these ladies?  I understand being shy, but a little guidance and input from a gentleman is always appreciated.  If I do not know what my clients like, I ask.  I am all about making the moment an experience.  It only ruins the moment if you are not part of the moment, if that makes sense.

My best sessions are when we connect, mentally and physically.  If I do not enjoy myself, chances are that you will not either. I am not a robot, where every session is the same.  That is why this hobby is so much fun.  Every gentleman is different.  Read my last review.  I finally learned what cockold was, and it was a blast to explore his desires.  Something I had never even dreamed of or frankly heard of.  LOL!

My advice is to be yourself,  be more verbal and find yourself someone who is into pleasing you, which in turn, pleases her.  A non judgement zone. Why be passive/aggressive ?  You are after all, the client.  I have been in the business for a long time, I still cannot read minds.  I love it when a gentleman shares his wants and desires, after screening of course  

The toughest clients are those that do not share what makes them tick. And anyone who talks about their sister, cat, etc, during the act, is simply clueless.  Total buzzkill.  Had a client do it to me once, total buzzkill and at least, I can fake it.

Read reviews, find a lady that is in tune with you and herself  Good luck and don't give up.  We are out there  

-- Modified on 11/30/2016 3:20:34 AM

-- Modified on 11/30/2016 3:21:38 AM

-- Modified on 11/30/2016 3:27:10 AM

Sounds like some bottom tier shit

Maybe if you communicate that the sessions def all needs to have all the above requests or do a powerpoint script.. i have had guys bring me that before.. even with pics.. it does help some girls.. for me, i just think he wanted to be sure i did all his requests - although this was a 90 min session- i had all my toys and gear and oils and he brought his check list..  

 
If you are interested, I love dirty talk roleplay , fetish, foot worship and if ever have a request for certain things let me know and i will be glad to do only what you request.. i love BDSM.. i also giving FBS

Agree with the info that the other providers offerred....to add to their ideas and experiences which very much parallel mine, I would suggest that you choose your provider with knowledge that she is indeed into what you are PLUS do know that communication in the sexiest and most effective tool to get what you want.  I have several clients who enjoy fetish/BDSM play but also enjoy GFE.  If you approach me as a kitten, I may just curl into my friend and purr with you.  If I know clearly that you are wanting to take out the toys literally and so to speak then the session is structured as such.  

As for the chatting, I would assume a couple things right or wrong...you are either choosing less experienced  ladies who may or may actually know what they are doing when in comes to fetishes OR it may be that you know the provider so well that your relationship is friendly which makes her feel comfortable with you to chat about more personal and casual topics after the glow is settling.   Doing that during the playtime seems odd at best if that was when this was timed...goodness she/ was/they were not on the right track and indeed that is a buzz kill.  I have had men do this with me as well...Angelina is cute to say she fakes it in that circumstance as realy what else could a lady do?

I find role play works best when you go right into it as the door opens...again communication would be key.  I ask if I am to remain in role beginning to good bye or if there is desire for real time after the session.  Most of my friends enjoy that unwind real time to connect personally.

I've been away from DC for many months and just getting back. But it has been my experience - and I am often looking for some kink and out of the ordinary play - it's best to be straight and honest about what you are looking for when you are there. You know, get an understanding that your is down with your needs. And don't hesitate to come right out and ask if they will do something that you have already discussed. Yeah, it can be hard to speak up and describe your kinks of sexual desires out loud, but it's best if you just take a deep breath and go for it.

That way everybody knows what the expectations are. And if the lady won't do what she said she'd do. chalk it up to experience and don't go back. But, like I said, being open and honest is usually best.

Also NEVER allow anyone to "talk during the down and dirty fun stuff. Put the kibash on that right away, I do.  I have had a few clients start asking me questions at the wrong moments.  "How did you start doing this, What are your Christmas plans". Uuuum yeah I don't want to be thinking or talking about seeing my dad and my overbearing relatives while I am in doggy position or ANY position! LOL. I always just tell them we can talk after.  

 As for the role playing and dirty talk and all that jazz, discuss beforehand and when you arrive bring it up again. Say everything we went over via email still good? Tell the girl it's VERY important to you. The good ones will understand and get it. You had some good ones already respond to you.  Start there and see one of them!

Thanks everyone good advice all around.  I obviously am not communicating well enough even though I thought I was.

I'll be PM'ing a one or two of you later!!  

if you aren't getting what you want or hope or expect from a meeting, it's likely because you didn't express what you wanted... we're not gypsies or mind readers... as much as we want to be, if you're not giving of a vibe of sorts, how are we to know how to handle you, your wants needs and desires?

You've had encounters with the wrong providers

When ever BDSM or Fantasy is requested, I ask for details  
This helps me to decide if I'm into the request or not..personally, I won't do it if I disliked what is being requested...I am dynamic and creative. And like diversifying.
I feel if a provider doesn't inquire more into what your partially looking for, then they are just going through with it for the soul purpose of financial gain.
Don't get me wrong we are hired to preform, entertain etc...and the money is a main factor
But I feel the truth is some are more passionate with their craft then others.
It's also a challenge to inquire about partical fantasies because of discretion.
I would get verified and and see if the provider is engaged in your request or just say yes without any of her own input...that should be a red flag.
We our all different with our own style and boundaries.

Good Luck, hope this was helpful. Good luck
I left my link in case your interested

Sinful Paige Lynn

END OF MESSAGE

Based on my experience, if you are clear in your intentions you will probably be satisfied.  I can speak from experience in my sessions with Angelina.

Even if things are discussed beforehand, communication is very important during the appointment, and if she's a good provider, that's the best way to "get her into it" because she's there to please you and you're letting her know how to do that.  

I'm also on the shy side as well, and sometimes providers can be fairly quiet too. I found myself expecting that providers are going to be very extroverted because they are in this business, and  thinking she will just do everything she does in her reviews. But that's too much to put on the provider.  

So I've learned that it's important to ask for what I want, make suggestions, and ask what she likes. It can be awkward, but in the long run it will make for a better appointment. You're not "calling her out on it," you're communicating with her.

My new motto: communication should guide the appointment, not expectations

What a great motto!  Sometimes I have guys come in and I can practically SEE them going over the checklist in their mind.  It really can cause anxiety for him that I also feel.  

When you are meeting a girl for the first time, take a deep breath and prepare to spend some time with a fascinating unique woman that has a sexual appetite far superior to most women you cross paths with throughout the day.  With that mindset, you should be able to approach any subject with her.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!

Are these appointments going for?

Also Tantra is a really broad term! I say this half jokingly, but it isn't Tantra if it isn't deeply uncomfortable to the point of breaking down crying  Though in all seriousness, a lot of tantra is about growth, and expansion, less about conventional sexy stuff.. and to learn how to work 'conventionally sexy stuff' while also focusing on those def't requires a lot of work and personal investment... So yeah, she shouldn't be cheap but also sessions should probably be at least 2 hours.  It's hard to get personal growth in a QV!   That said, it's not clear how long your sessions tend to be, or how much you're paying.

Personally, when someone -really- wants Tantra, I will give it to them.. and indeed, that requires communication! The vulnerability of saying what it is you want, even if she won't always provide it.  As you said, you want her to be authentically into it... and if she's a good Tantra provider, and she can't authentically be into it... Then she may smile nd say "Well, I don't feel authentically comfortable doing X.. but how about I..." and it's then up to you to say "That sounds amazing!" or "I would like that," or "I don't know about that but I'd really love it if you...!"  

And to me that is such a wonderful time, that place of authentic exploration where you two write your own story based off of your unique connection rather than this list of specific things you had in your head regardless of your company.

xox

-Helena