thanks for all the response, ladies and gents. What I've gathered from this discourse (and it's not surprising) is that ladies use provider references as a means to determine if the guy is basically a decent person and not some kind of lunatic.
This brings me to the second form of verification I see requested: employment information.
From what I have read thus far from the ladies, employment verification wouldn't really accomplish too much, as far as what you're looking for from references (feel free to educate me if I'm mistaken on this). One thing that I have never compromised on in the past 3-4 years of hobbying is my anonymity: I've never given anyone my real name, never shared employment information, and no matter how much I liked a lady, I've never seen anyone more than one time (so she doesn't remember my face months from now).
As I've gotten older, I see the hobby as a way to meet interesting people, rather than a "goal-oriented" activity. Having said that, I'm still very hesitant to give away my employment information, thus the need for references! I don't like the idea of pestering someone for references (even once), so I'm curious...
Ladies: how do you do employment verification? Are you calling the receptionist at my job and asking to speak to me? Calling HR to confirm I work there? I'm just curious what this process is like before I think about giving this info to someone.
As always, appreciate any insight. Thanks!