"The other side....." of you shoulda been your first thought. You answered your own question. You're simply suffering the pangs of what you define as rejection/dismissiveness.
You note: "The other side of me thinks at least she got back to me. Maybe she's really busy. Maybe she gets plenty of intros that never pan out and prove a waste of time." That's exactly it. Just look on the Ad board. Most, if not all of the Ads have at a minimum 350+ views. If you subtract for duplicate views and tire kickers only and say that's half gone. That leaves 175 Mongers who may contact her for inquiries and/or appointment requests. All those emails to wade through. If I read yours and the in the first paragraph you note you're not in town and I'll see you next time. After sending you a BRIEF thanks email I'd delete it and keep it moving. These ladies focus is on Mongers who are trying to give them $$$ while they are visiting NOT guys who want to meet me at some future date that is not even known yet. Come on dude...toughen upSo I've seen the TER posts and profile of a very lovely lady in her 40's from down south. All indications point to us having a great time together. As my usual habit, I sent her a very thoughtful, descriptive, respectful introduction. Now this intro, via P411, was a pre-screen as I'm out of town next week when she is visiting. I complimented her website and blurred pictures, told her my preference for longer appointments (2, 3, 4 hours, etc). And made it very clear that I'd see her on here next visit. Now the buzz-kill. Her response is, "Thank you for your note. Hope to meet you sometime". Damn. After all the effort I put in to the intro, the response is barely more than dismissive. My first thought is to just write her off, delete from Favorites and move on. The other side of me thinks at least she got back to me. Maybe she's really busy. Maybe she gets plenty of intros that never pan out and prove a waste of time. Most of my favs responded much more enthusiastically, commenting on some of the details included in my intro. Just curious what your thoughts are. Have a great week!
Two points.
1. She is busy - Sounds like she is currently traveling...which is busy enough as a civvie. Add juggling schedules for all the guys that want to see her and the hundred little details she has to take care of. She does not have the mental bandwidth available for a well thought out response.
2. As a business person she will concentrate on business she HAS first, and business she MIGHT have second. The statistics some of the ladies have posted about how many time wasters they deal with are disheartening. Round numbers seem to run around 10-20 contacts resulting in 2-4 dates. So yeah, I am sure she is hoping you "pan out" but not willing to put a lot of effort into it until her next visit is scheduled and you can commit to a day and time. It is not YOU, it is just business.
If you really want to see her, wait until she announces her next visit and contact her again. If your intro is as memorable as you claim, remind her of it and she will likely appreciate your tenacity and desire to get together.
JB
"The other side....." of you shoulda been your first thought. You answered your own question. You're simply suffering the pangs of what you define as rejection/dismissiveness.
You note: "The other side of me thinks at least she got back to me. Maybe she's really busy. Maybe she gets plenty of intros that never pan out and prove a waste of time." That's exactly it.
Just look on the Ad board. Most, if not all of the Ads have at a minimum 350+ views. If you subtract for duplicate views and tire kickers only and say that's half gone. That leaves 175 Mongers who may contact her for inquiries and/or appointment requests.
All those emails to wade through. If I read yours and the in the first paragraph you note you're not in town and I'll see you next time. After sending you a BRIEF thanks email I'd delete it and keep it moving.
These ladies focus is on Mongers who are trying to give them $$$ while they are visiting NOT guys who want to meet me at some future date that is not even known yet.
Come on dude...toughen up
Don't take it personal, dude. I bet you will get a much better response next time you ARE in town and are actually trying to book an appointment. It's just business.
You gave her blue balls. Did the right things and were getting her there but then you could close the deal. You are out of town. Buzz kill. Ok, she knows you don't tease her next time remind her of your previous email and that you are around now and are ready to finish. Bet you get a better response.
Other posters pointed out some numbers that start to break down the reason why you aren't getting a flowery long-winded response. For me the disappointment came when I'd read reviews on a girl I had my eye on, and quite a few of them talk about "exchanging emails up to the day of" with "playful banter" and the occasional bonus candid picture.
Then I try to write to them, thinking I'm being charming with my introduction, and I get back a one-liner about the dates/times she's available. Follow-up emails and texts are met with the same brevity and lack of emotion. I quickly figured out what YMMV means, and that quite a few reviews embellish the details.
I think maybe you have the same misunderstanding I once did, that we're trying to woo these girls as if they're a dating opportunity. It's one thing to be a nice respectful non-pushy guy, and I believe in treating people like I'd want to be treated. But don't make this into something it isn't, at the end of the day the guys are here for one purpose, and the ladies are here to get paid for it.
...of: "Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself, and for your many compliments. I am sorry to missing you during this trip, but should you find yourself available when I return to DC, I would love to hear from you".
The lady in question, could have been a bit kinder, but she (like most of us when traveling) is looking for real time, not future time. You might have also added, "Please let me know in advance, when you plan to return, so that I might adjust my schedule, and have the opportunity to meet you".
Just my .02.
Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly
i've read some ladies prefer an introduction longer then a short sentence.
I don't want to write an introductory email like I'm applying for a job.LOL
On a positive note, it's just another example of a reality check.
You expect too much. The fantasy is the hour or so with her, not flirting with e-mail.
My e-mail exchanges with a lady whom I've never seen are always business-like, with a time for appointment. Even for ladies whom I see regularly I keep my e-mail short in order not to take up her time. Sometimes we do chat, by e-mail or by text, but she'll have to initiate it.
Some ladies like to chat in person but with e-mails, even if you know each other well, like to keep their replies short. Nothing personal.
Harsh, but true. And these poor ladies get lots of time wasters. She was very gracious to even respond at all when you said you could not meet with her. And you should take that as an indicator to follow-up. But ONLY when you can book a firm date. No more wishy-washy crap. Be firm and definite about a time to meet. Or you could be dismissed as a time waster and never get the opportunity to meet this gracious lady.
not necessarily "gracious"' but just smart business.
A smart business lady will at least have a friendly standard blurb encouraging future contact - why risk losing a potential futue customer, especially when it would take so little effort to continue to keep the guy's long term interest up?
I've had my interest in ladies increase with their intelligent, articulate, flirtatious replies, and, I've lost interest in a lady or two who came across as cold, abrupt, or even even rude.