To answer my own question, I went to my favorite spot for a quickie with a real spinner. The table shower was gone -- removed per order of the county. I had to sign and date a form about the reasons for the massage therapy. And she had a new, more professional-looking uniform. She said a bunch of places in Annadale and Tysons already had been shut down.

This makes it even more unlikely that I'll ever patronize an AMP. They're just too big of a target as far as I'm concerned.