Hobbyist, do you ever think about this? In the regular world, when the shine wears off and your girlfriend, lover, wife, whatever isnt just for you anymore, you have that nasty business of breaking up to do. Everything depending on duration of the relationship, activities performed during relationship, and degree of bond formed in that relationship determine just how ugly its going to be. Regardless, you walk away the asshole because you are breaking terms, a contract if you will, that can be summarized as some shape or form of pussy payment.

Some pussy payments are worse than others, but all come with seeing the real ugly side of your once perfect mate. If you want to see the real person you're hooking up with, break up with them once and see what kind of person they become. Take note of it if you are ever thinking of going back to it.

Now in the hobby my dears, its pretty clear how this all works. When you want to break up with me, you just stop coming. (Pun intended).

....of Cambridge was, when William wandered for a few years, before they became engaged and married. Kate kept her mouth shut, and went on with her life.

   "When you plot revenge; dig two graves".  Confuscius

Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly

-- Modified on 12/18/2013 6:16:17 AM

I wouldn't have the heart to just break up with someone I was dating to just see how they would react but it's a great idea!! Tough times really bring out the "realness" in people. A divorce so to speak, between client and provider is much smoother. The client definitely just vanishes off the face of the earth. But I do wonder sometimes where they went. Obviously found someone else, but hmmm. Say hello here and there. Damn! Lol

In a divorce as well as palimony, the state laws usually favor the woman. When I got divorced in Virginia several years back, it became obvious how badly the deck is stacked against the guy and had we not agreed to a settlement,I would have been assraped by the court. Some things I had favoring me were that she made more money than I did, the house we owned had almost no equity and we had no children, otherwise I would be sending her a check to this very day (So no hobby money for me). So just to add to your opening post. Yes, we may come off as the asshole but the court makes us pay and pay dearly.  

Yes Megan and all other No Strings Attached  providers out there we wholeheartedly appreciate what you do.

80

"I don't pay these girls thousands of dollars to come over....

I pay them to leave when we are done

In my last relationship, there was no ugly break-up.  It just devolved over a long period of time.  I didn't press the issue because I was not interested in dating anyone else prior to an impending move.  I think  the break-up was mutual, but it was never discussed, which eliminated any hard feelings.  In fact, we're still friends (we've known each other for over 20 years), but on a very different plane.

I've had relatively good break-ups, but a couple were decidedly on the ugly side.

Who need to deal with that when you are available?!  The only problem is that our schedules have been out of synch for a number of months.  I'm looking forward to getting back into a routine--I mean that in only a very positive way--with you in 2014.

END OF MESSAGE

She definitely did everything right.
MD

Yes, I wonder too. Nothing wrong with staying in touch.  
MD

Thanks for your input. I have several friends that have and are currently going through a divorce in Virginia. I thought California was bad for men, well Virginia is pretty awful too. 1 year separation is crazy, let people be done with it already :

Got to love that warlock

I think I see where you are going with this.  I think you are saying the hobby does not bring the pain of relationships but some of the pleasure, and that's a big advantage for some.  

In most relationships, men don't idealize the woman they love as a "perfect mate" and then are disillusioned later. They have more sense than that, as do women  It would be really hard to be that close to someone and not know about their flaws as well as their strengths.  Well before a breakup happens, you know that about your loved one.

There are few surprises in break-ups, even if there is infidelity and that comes as a shock, because, on reflection, in time, most reasonable people will admit there were signs and symptoms that the relationship was in trouble -- and the ending of a serious relationship is usually a gradual process, even if it feels abrupt at first. People grow apart, sometimes.  

It's never fun, but I don't think "pussy payments" come into it.  That would imply that there was some sort of inequality in relationships, with men having the upper hand, entitling the woman to some kind of compensation after a break up, when really the balance is even on both sides. We've come too far for that Women share the responsibility of making the relationship work. One person or the other is going to wish for something different, maybe for it not to end. But I don't know that it follows that the person is going to be vengeful about it.

Relationships do not die because one person killed it.  Are monetary payments involved, in some cases, of course. When it's fair.  Some men get alimony.  Would you call that a penis payment?  No.  Women get alimony to reflect the contribution they made to the marriage, when that is the case, or to offer them a chance to be successful on their own, get them on their feet, when their is a wide inequality in incomes.  The children get support, which is fair.  I've been divorced and the process isn't fun or perfect, but it can be fair.

One thing I do know: getting lost in blame and bitterness is a dead-end. There's no way to learn or move on from that. And moving on is the only thing that makes an ending meaningful, that and what you learned from it.

Also I think intimate relationships should not involve tests. It's so much easier to just be authentic and real about your feelings, and considerate and honest if they happen to change.

Just curious - do you want to know what they are up to?  Like old friends and classmates, or do you want to know why they stopped seeing you?

There are a lot of reasons, none of which I think would surprise you.  One that I will mention, and like many small businesses, you start to take the regular customer for granted.

Thank you for your response. I agree with many of the thing you pointed out
Mega