While I do enjoy good conversation, I am finding that the “dates” I have most enjoyed have not had any conversation till then end of the “date”. This was the case in my dates *in the past*. Both ladies are very sensual and passionate, but also aggressive, in that they pretty much in control of the date and get things started right away. Not aggressive in a Dom sort of way, just more of a leading the action sort of way.

I am a bit shy and while I would not consider myself submissive, I do love a woman who will take the lead.  

On the flip side I have been on a couple of dates with very pretty ladies, who were looking for me to take the lead, and it just did not work well for either of us. I am extremely laid back and kind of shy in person, so putting two “kind of” shy people together doesn’t seem to work.  

I can read reviews to sort of determine this, but I have found recently that it is really hard to determine this from a review, as the reviewer maybe describing the 4th or 5th date with a particular lady and that changes the dynamics when it comes to shyness.  

Lots and lots of kissing and someone who really enjoys oral attention from their partner are still at the top of my list, I am just adding this to the top.

Can anyone recommend any ladies that they feel really fit this

You're asking about whether there are ladies who are so and so during an appointment.

The problem is that providers do not come in flavors, like soda pop. You are working under the assumption that she will always be the same, for every client.  Like Coca Cola

Think about some girlfriend you had. Were you the "same" every time you got together with her? No. Sometimes you were probably more this, and sometimes she was more that.  

An appointment is a blend of moods, timing, personalities, energies, hormones, and circumstances. I mean, the room could be a little chilly or warm, and even that would affect the outcome. I might be more snuggly in a cool room. I might be more uninhibited in a warm room. Who can say? There are countless iterations of how it could go.  

Providers are not the same with every client. The same shy women you saw might be very assertive with the next client. I know I am like that. I don't know why I am like that. Who knows why women are the way they are? But don't expect us to be predictable

Providers are not the same with every appointment with the same clients. Well, that's what makes it fun, right? Maybe we pick up on some mood or cue, and we try to respond in kind. That is the nature of human interaction -- there is some level of unpredictability, there is that constant sally back and forth -- does he like this, should I try this, should I stop doing this, should I keep doing that, would faster be better, would softer be better, does he want it harder, does he just want to talk, does he want to dance (yes, some of them like to dance), does he want to be held, does he want it to be about him, does he want it to be all about me, does he want it to be about the other girl in the room (LOL).  

You get the idea.  I mean, really. It's exhausting. BUT...when you get it right, well, it's so gratifying. It's a win.

I do think providers really try to pick up on cues and shape the appointment to the client's needs, when they can. But cues can be misread. That's why I like repeat visits, myself. The more you get to know the guy, and his rhythms, and what works and what doesn't work, the better it gets.

Just tell her what you want, Charlie. Honestly, we see it all and hear it all.  She'll deliver.

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

I know that chemistry is something that happens organically and a person is different with one person than they are with another parson. I also know that you cannot manufacture chemistry. I was just trying to narrow down my odds, as I know that there are some women who are naturally shyer in nature, and women are naturally more aggressive or wanting to take the lead. Clearly that is not to say that they are that way all the time, but if I like when the lady takes the lead, then it more likely to happen with someone who prefers that role or is very comfortable in that role, than for it to happen with someone who is naturally shy or prefers to be lead.  

I know that ladies in this world have to be sort of chameleons, and adapt to different clients. I also know that ladies have natural tendencies; I was just to find out who might naturally prefer to take the lead.  

I hope that makes since

for us has been great. I like to talk alot also, I felt that it happened very naturally and that we could talk, play around, talk some more, and easily go back and forth without worry or thought to it.

What is tough with some people is that awkward chatting at the beginning where your both just feeling each other out, and making small talk. That was never the case with you.

You are pathetic.

....especially the very last line of "Just tell her what you want, Charlie. Honestly, we see it all and hear it all.  She'll deliver." .... perfect.

You are making me uncharacteristically aggressive here. Dude, you are soooooooo lazy!

Please don't act like you can't find a provider like this with your own resources. I've SEEN you with women like this, come on!  You can't tell which ones are the more assertive types? You gotta ask? I mean, do their ads, websites, reviews, and board posts lend you no clues? Or the back-channel? Does the term PSE mean nothing to you? Can you not put it together that a fetish-friendly provider might deliver what you need at a price?

You just want a diamond in the rough no one has heard of yet to knock you down like an overly affectionate Labrador on first sight, don't you. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie

That was an interesting description. I have tried things that way. Typically, when I have seen someone who claimed to be more PSE, they were very vocal with their aggressive nature, and really into nasty talk. A little dirty talk is one thing, but doing it constantly or taking it to the next level of nasty talk can be a real turn off for me.

I am not trying to be lazy. I am just struggling with the research. I have done a fair amount of research, but perhaps I am looking at or for the wrong things. I have found at least for me that there is a fine line between the assertiveness that really excites me, and a dominant nature that kind of turns me off. You might want to believe I am looking for a unicorn, but I gave two examples, so I know this exist. I am just struggling with my research.  

Yes, it maybe my natural tendency to come to this board when I don't find what I am looking for in my search, but is that really a bad thing

that sounds a lot like me

I know I can.

Good luck finding those unicorns! They're out there, I'm sure. I've met a couple of boy ones, myself.