One reason that I rarely read the discussion board is my dislike at the occasional posting of argumentative, condescending and rude language, like “idiot” no “you’re crazy”, “boy”, etc. I have seen some pretty heated arguments. Sometimes it gets quite personal and unnecessary. I try never to do it.
I got an example when someone sent me a private message starting “I hate to break it to you buddy”, which proceeded to tell me that any women needing lubrication was faking, so my review of Zuzu was a lie. I was somewhat perturbed by “buddy,” a condescending form of address. And I also knew that he did not know what he is talking about.
Unfortunately, I took the bait and replied rather sharply that I had 100 reviews to his 7, and I knew what I was talking about.
He replied “get some real experience” and that he had been with hundreds of women “countless thousands of times” and never once had to use a lubricant. Well I know he’s just a braggart or else has many unhappy partners, but at that point I conceded that he is obviously a better man than I.
I should not have taken the bait, but I was highly irritated by his condescending tone. He sent me another reply which I threw in the trash.
Please, in posting and in PMs don’t use offensive language, and don’t reply in anger. And don’t throw gasoline on a fire, even if someone else started it. Just throw the message in the trash as I did
I don't see the point in all of this negativity. I suppose if you look at it in an analytical way, you can assume that a lot of the posters probably aren't at the top of the list when it comes to confidence, otherwise, why would they need to tear others down. But, I have learned, to ignore the ones who are so negative. I think that boards like this should bring forth solidarity, both between the men and the women- but unfortunately that isn't how it works so much.
Don't let the PM bother you, Will, you know what you know. Honestly, why would someone even feel it necessary to PM you about the contents of a review? It's just silly.
Just my .02$-- whatever it is worth.
over something that was said to you by someone you have no clue as to their identity on the internet?
Did he also tell you that he is 6-4 240lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal, and that he is hung like a horse and has the looks of an Adonis?
Bravo.
"Never argue with idiots, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."
The good thing is that most here do attempt to remain civil and well mannered with one another. Sometimes we all let some frustration show and then worse, fall for the flame and then think less of ourselves for doing so. We all human so don't let it get to you Wil.
Thats pretty good, captures it perfectly. Beat you with experience, very true and you're left dirty and slimed.
I've noticed the pattern is to scream, yell, shout profanities, tell the other person they are stupid, racist (which is particularly funny when you're a minority, too), don't know what you're are talking about, and then fifteen minutes later have a normal conversation. Its weird the weirdest shit.
Don't get me started on smartphone etiquette
The casual nastiness is one of the things I’ve come to hate most about the boards and the internet in general.
Something I find extremely distressing is how it’s seeping into our real lives. I’ve had disputes with friends where I’m on the other side of the screen thinking “If I came back at you with half the heat you’re bringing to me, we’ll never be able to patch this up.”
I’m not talking about cases of keyboard courage, I mean e-mail disputes with outspoken people who could have called me and discussed things, but I guess it was more appealing to play Dorothy Parker and unload on me in print.
I think one of the main reasons we were able to get past it (so far, in each case) is because I refused to return fire. Was good for the friendships, not so good for my blood pressure.
-- Modified on 2/24/2016 8:14:31 AM
I am also seeing this more and more in my private life. When they text you or email you then you become a captive audience for this person to unleash on I choose not to read it when I see where it is going, I delete it entirely and do not respond at all.
I will not allow them to hold me captive.
If they wish to truly work through what ever the issue is then lets meet for coffee because certain things just can not be conveyed by text or email and many things can be taken the wrong way.
I notice the art of communication is becoming a lost art and more and more people are choosing to battle it out on text, email and of all places social media. The way of life as we knew it growing up is gone. As a kid if you had a issue with a friend you hoped on your bike and went over to their house. Now you get a nasty incoherent text or a cryptic message posted to facebook or twitter lol
While the means to communicate (Email, Text, Skype etc) has improved, I've noticed common decency and appropriate behavior when communicating with friends, co workers, strangers is fading. Our communication is essentially evolving/devolving simultaneously.
I also think access to one another plays huge role as well. Like you said, back in the days, if you wanted to converse with someone you went to their house and had a real conversation face to face. Or you called them on the phone; now in either instance if they weren't home or available you'd have to resort to going home, calming down and watching tv or something else to distract you.
Now these days, when you're upset and you want to let someone know, you can reach out immediately, then and there and let them know how you feel. No time to cool down, or maybe rethink your behavior. We now have instant access to one another considering most of us are glued to our phones.
This new age has brought about what I like to call- Thumb Thugs or Phone Gangsters. People who otherwise wouldn't have the audacity to say or behave how they do online or via text, in person.
We'll all be reeling from all of this when the world changes LOL. Hopefully, we'll make it to Alexandria, the new world and we'll take out the Wolves ASAP 
Each of you has articulated excellent points. Perhaps I am tilting at windmills, but those of us who have mastered good communication skills can each do our part by continuing the tradition of writing a thoughtful communication from time to time and resisting the temptation to respond in sound bites. Either by way of response to a provocation, or merely as a cogent expression of our thoughts and feelings -- take a moment to truly express yourself. If enough of us do this, it may catch on with others who spend too much time in the twittersphere and other venues for abbreviated communication habits. Few things are more heart-warming and evocative than a thoughtfully crafted letter, as those of us who have lived our lives sending and receiving them can attest.
Posted By: BellaAmourCompanions
I am also seeing this more and more in my private life. When they text you or email you then you become a captive audience for this person to unleash on I choose not to read it when I see where it is going, I delete it entirely and do not respond at all.
I will not allow them to hold me captive.
If they wish to truly work through what ever the issue is then lets meet for coffee because certain things just can not be conveyed by text or email and many things can be taken the wrong way.
I notice the art of communication is becoming a lost art and more and more people are choosing to battle it out on text, email and of all places social media. The way of life as we knew it growing up is gone. As a kid if you had a issue with a friend you hoped on your bike and went over to their house. Now you get a nasty incoherent text or a cryptic message posted to facebook or twitter lol
Maybe I miss them too much. Long e-mails used to be short letters and I'm caught between worlds. I'm used to exchanging long e-mails with folks who used to write letters, so I'm still working on making my e-mails shorter for people who only know e-mail. I'll get there some day.
I had a final falling out with an ex because she tried to call me out on Facebook. Instead of picking up the phone and asking me, "Dude, where'd you go."
Actually, she did pick up the phone but she called my cell phone which I hardly ever turned on in those days. Which she thought was a lie because "Who doesn't turn on their cell phone?"
Posted By: WillOckham
One reason that I rarely read the discussion board is my dislike at the occasional posting of argumentative, condescending and rude language, like “idiot” no “you’re crazy”, “boy”, etc. I have seen some pretty heated arguments. Sometimes it gets quite personal and unnecessary. I try never to do it.
I got an example when someone sent me a private message starting “I hate to break it to you buddy”, which proceeded to tell me that any women needing lubrication was faking, so my review of Zuzu was a lie. I was somewhat perturbed by “buddy,” a condescending form of address. And I also knew that he did not know what he is talking about.
Unfortunately, I took the bait and replied rather sharply that I had 100 reviews to his 7, and I knew what I was talking about.
He replied “get some real experience” and that he had been with hundreds of women “countless thousands of times” and never once had to use a lubricant. Well I know he’s just a braggart or else has many unhappy partners, but at that point I conceded that he is obviously a better man than I.
I should not have taken the bait, but I was highly irritated by his condescending tone. He sent me another reply which I threw in the trash.
Please, in posting and in PMs don’t use offensive language, and don’t reply in anger. And don’t throw gasoline on a fire, even if someone else started it. Just throw the message in the trash as I did.
the magnanimous Mr. Fisher in such high regard. I don't know how he does it. (I'm sure) there are others but I can't recall their handle.
I can't do it. One thing I can't stand is a condescending internet bully.
Posted By: WillOckham
One reason that I rarely read the discussion board is my dislike at the occasional posting of argumentative, condescending and rude language, like “idiot” no “you’re crazy”, “boy”, etc. I have seen some pretty heated arguments. Sometimes it gets quite personal and unnecessary. I try never to do it.
I got an example when someone sent me a private message starting “I hate to break it to you buddy”, which proceeded to tell me that any women needing lubrication was faking, so my review of Zuzu was a lie. I was somewhat perturbed by “buddy,” a condescending form of address. And I also knew that he did not know what he is talking about.
Unfortunately, I took the bait and replied rather sharply that I had 100 reviews to his 7, and I knew what I was talking about.
He replied “get some real experience” and that he had been with hundreds of women “countless thousands of times” and never once had to use a lubricant. Well I know he’s just a braggart or else has many unhappy partners, but at that point I conceded that he is obviously a better man than I.
I should not have taken the bait, but I was highly irritated by his condescending tone. He sent me another reply which I threw in the trash.
Please, in posting and in PMs don’t use offensive language, and don’t reply in anger. And don’t throw gasoline on a fire, even if someone else started it. Just throw the message in the trash as I did.
Yes cyber bullying is real and sad. No reason to allow another who has no clue who you are, what your dealing with in life to bully you for no apparent reason except they feel they can. You don't have to read their garbage misery loves company but you don't have to join their party!
Refuse to acknowledge them and hopefully they will see the error in their ways. Hopefully! Always continue to be the strong positive force in life others love about you and never allow your self to be brought to their level. You must hold your self to a higher standard and allow those with no social skills to diminish themselves.
I get why he answered though we all fall prey once in a while but we must come back to our voice of reason and realize this persons only goal is to take us from our happy place. eradicate the cancer!! never replying and then you take their power
Posted By: WillOckham
One reason that I rarely read the discussion board is my dislike at the occasional posting of argumentative, condescending and rude language, like “idiot” no “you’re crazy”, “boy”, etc. I have seen some pretty heated arguments. Sometimes it gets quite personal and unnecessary. I try never to do it.
I got an example when someone sent me a private message starting “I hate to break it to you buddy”, which proceeded to tell me that any women needing lubrication was faking, so my review of Zuzu was a lie. I was somewhat perturbed by “buddy,” a condescending form of address. And I also knew that he did not know what he is talking about.
Unfortunately, I took the bait and replied rather sharply that I had 100 reviews to his 7, and I knew what I was talking about.
He replied “get some real experience” and that he had been with hundreds of women “countless thousands of times” and never once had to use a lubricant. Well I know he’s just a braggart or else has many unhappy partners, but at that point I conceded that he is obviously a better man than I.
I should not have taken the bait, but I was highly irritated by his condescending tone. He sent me another reply which I threw in the trash.
Please, in posting and in PMs don’t use offensive language, and don’t reply in anger. And don’t throw gasoline on a fire, even if someone else started it. Just throw the message in the trash as I did.
Dudes are jackasses to each other...it's what we do. ya got sand in your vagina?
so many people, particularly folks under 35 or so. To them, normal conversation doesn't happen face-to-face very much, it's all by IMs on your phone. So when faced with any sort of challenge in any form of text, their normal response is more text with a sense that 'I've got to be superior to this other person' & it all becomes a contest of one-upmanship. And nobody really listens anymore! Kind of a sad state of affairs & sometimes I'm actually happy that I'm getting pretty old & won't have to be around to see where this goes, but I do worry for my children & grandchildren. But I also know there's not much I can do about it.
So my advice is to just walk away; let the other person go forward with their self-created sense of superiority, knowing that someone else will bring them down sooner or later, or else they'll go through life offending everyone, & die with no friends.
I think the medium of contact matters too, I will generally mention in an ad that I do not check PM regularly because I find when people fire off a PM they are more likely to just send out anything that pops in their head. When someone has to visit my website, get my email and then log into their email account (assuming they don't email from their personal account) that seems to have enough of a time buffer that they think about what they are saying... or those that send stupidity are also just too lazy to take all those steps.
As much as companions complain about the barrage of useless and rude messages we get we sometimes forget the flipside of it, that the gents have even less options in how they contact other gents for information and thus open themselves up to the same sort of problems.
By time I was a teen and went to a new school people looked at me like I was crazy for not having a screen name as where I came from it was all about the phone.
And by time I was in high school text msg was for when ya were not at home. It was all about AIM/AOL & school email addresses.
Bunch of softies now in days. Social media and real life are tow different worlds....it's just the people born after 1990 confuse the two. social media is for being funny, party pics, and clowning on people unless your a business selling something. People be telling a person story on social media...and if it's not a personal story to build brand loyalty it's pretty stupid, imo. Though I understand the business...I hated when Facebook opened up beyond college students!!!
