So this one is tricky. The provider did not show up yesterday after saying that she was on her way and was stuck in traffic. I waited for more than an hour and kept emailing her as she only communicates through emails. She has a lot of good reviews and all the information checked out. She even asked for a deposit which seemed like a common practice as I have given that before as it a safety net for a no show client and she had a lot of reviews which made me feel confident. What is puzzling that she said that she was on her way and didn't show up and hasn't been replying to my emails since
Happened to me recently. I drove 2 hours to Fredericksburg and got 5 minutes away, and had a panic attack. My spidey senses kicked in and I drove home. The gentleman had references, but something was off and I got spooked.
Turns out that I was right. Sent me some awful emails and vm. Clearly a man I would never want to be near, especially if crossed. I did not take a deposit, he lost nothing, and I saved my ass.
Not saying that is what happened in your case, but sometimes things happen sadly. In my case, I felt it was my safety. I did not respond to his vile emails, after the fact, nor vm. No need to. He is owed no explanation.
Women have great intuition, sounds you definitely made the right decision. You're still on my wish list (smile). Can't wait until my schedule allows. --Chris
99.99% of the time I've listened to that spider sense and avoided some pretty shitty situations that only reveled themselves when something happened to someone else or interaction like you had. It's pretty rare because the people I see have to deal with roadblocks to seeing me, so the sketchy guys weed themselves out, but there's the occasional turd who makes it through and that spider sense is deafening.
I think a lot of that's from experience though. When I first started many moons ago, I got arrested because I totally disregarded my intuition last warning and walked right into it and was subsequently sexually assaulted by the cops that arrested me (the DA gave no fucks about that part though...) from that point I've listen to my intuition and ran when appropriate to avoid that. I also had an instance in like November of last year where a guy had several references that gave glowing reviews of him, only to have him try to murder me (surprisingly common among first timers with trans providers). I disregarded intuition there because refererences were good, and he--at that time--had nothing derogatory listed about him. So second big lesson learned there too. Now, whenever I get spooked, I any case, I run as fast as possible. I've even gone so far to ditch a hotel last minute because I got spooked right before the appointment.
So I'm to hear that other ladies bail last minute.
I paid a deposit .. And my emails were mostly general about if she wants to reschedule or how much more time she would take. I waited for couple of hours. She said she was on her way and stuck in traffic. Even if I spooked here in any way which I don't think I did, I should atleast get a reply or my money back considering she has a lot of rave reviews . Not replying to any mail or not returning the deposit is highly unprofessional
She replied and figuring out when we can meet up. I wouldn't want to comment on the reason she gave coz you never know. Things can happen. I wasn't going to name the person anyways. It is our work to do due delligence and if you get ripped off tough luck. Lesson learned
Glad that worked out for you! I hope when you see her, it's everything you hoped for. Always very unfortunate to hear about people who don't communicate well with clients, especially if you paid a deposit.
I have to agree with you on that point that the money matters less. I've had a few experiences in this game where I would rather have the hour of my life back over a refund. In my honest opinion, I think things happen for a reason. Be thankful that all it cost you was some paper. If you're a true monger like the rest of us you are probobly not hurting for the lost deposit. Consider that this missed encounter might have saved you from something far worse. Be safe out there.
It's one thing to make an appointment without a deposit and then get spooked, but even in that case, an explanation is warranted as a professional in what they do.
On the other hand, it doesn't sound like that's what happened there. You put down a deposit, she never showed (or called to reschedule/say she couldn't make it) and kept your money, which is pretty suspect. If you've gotten your money back, it's one thing, if not, is be considering a chargeback and putting her down as a provider with something to hide.
I really wish sites like TER would add a review protocol for situations like that because it seems to be increasingly more common-guys effectively being taken for a ride or extorted with now way of combating that. If a deposit is made, that should be enough to review someone, or at least be able to ad some sort of addendum to a profile stating buyer beware, or something like that.
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