Hi K.biz: that is an excellent question. For my part I asked the provider to guide me on DATY because I want to improve and satisfy my wife better. I know every woman is different. But I thought a provider who is comfortable with her body would be helpful. My wife really does not respond well to that and my suspicion was or is that I am not good at it. So in my case it's less about ego and more about being a better lover.

To me talking during sex is hot, I see nothing wrong with asking a woman "who's pussy is this?".  It actually makes me cum faster, not that I'm a marathon man as it is but dirty talk, sex faces and ear sucking make me bust quicker.  Now the other statements that you mentioned are off limits as I don't want to blur the lines, I know it's not love and I am certainly not going to initiate off the clock requests.  Hobbying is a fantasy  for me, and I assume other hobbyist like to get their rocks off similarly otherwise why hobby in the first place?  

Some of these guys just aren’t very smooth, and the fact that they’ve got their dick inside you doesn’t make that awkwardness magically disappear.