My Dear you seem the perfect person to help me with my fear of going to a TS Club. I can meet girl in hotels, motels etc etc but have a fear of clubs. I think it would be a blast however I can not get over the fear of going in. I don,t need you to hold my hand just help break the ice. I would like to join you next get together.

As moderator, I was tempted to re-assign this post to a personal message instead of a board post.  But, it does bring up an interesting discussion about comfort level of "going public".  I'll share my story, maybe others will too.

I've been seeing tgirls for a few years.  In the begining, I exclusively did incalls.  I'd never do outcalls, even with the most passable girls, for fear of neighbors seeing a tgirl.  

About a year later, I finally, with the help of some vodka, got the nerve to do a solo trip to the local tranny bar.  Once I broke the ice there, i instantly felt comfortable returning.  When I brought a girl out, though I never brought them to my place.

Finally, after about six months of trolling this bar, I brought my first girl home. I've since done an outcall TG escort without much concern.  Another barrier overcome!

Last fall was my most recent milestone.  While in NYC for a weekend, I "went public" for the first time.  It started with strolling through a busy hotel lobby with a girl (and I'll admit I made a beeline for the elevators!).  Then, the big step...an escort I had seen in my hotel invited me out with her and her not-that-passable TG friend.  Hotel lobby, taxis, a few gay bars.  A major step.  My guess is most of the stares were jealous dudes, nothing else!

My advice to you is to break through these barriers...its quite liberating.  The feeling of strolling thru midtown manhattan with a gorgeous tranny was terrific, alot like showing off any trophy girlfriend.

Now I'm considering when and where to do this in my hometown.  I'll still probably try to stay off the beaten path, but I'm pretty sure I'm ready.  Shit, maybe in a weird way, I'm trying to "get caught", but right now I'm just having fun.

Thank you for you insights.

I can relate to the some of these fears...

I was recently on a business trip in Chicago and bother to check out "El Gato Negra" because I figured i couldn't bring a T-girl back to my hotel due to other members of work staying on the same floor and fear of geting caught. I was pissed off to say the least.

Luckily on my next business trip (to San Fran), I figured the best way to handle the situation was to meet girls at a bar, get some numbers, then "order in" after agreeing to price in person. Even thought I was a little scared about the escort geting stopped by hotel staff on the way to the room, I went ahead and went for it--had a beautiful girl I met at Divas come over.

My San Fran experiance was far and away the best escorting serives I have ever recieved.  I was so glad that i took the time to go to Divas and to have her come over. (makes me even more pissed off i didn't go in Chicago)

BTW as a side note for all the people who always ask about Divas...my experiance was great 4 of 5 dancers on Thursady were unbeliveable looking.  And some of the working girl/spectators, though not as numerous as I had hoped for, were as good or better looking than performers IMO.

How's this for "going public".  I live about 4 blocks from 7969
and have many times left the club with a beautiful TGirl on my arm, sometimes playfully touching and feeling each other indiscreetly.  Mind you, this is usually after 1 AM but, still, it is my neighborhood and I am married.  There is something thrilling and liberating about it. Or maybe it is just stupid and empty headed.  Probably, a little of both.
I also have a TGirl escort friend that I eat out with occasionally.  We also have gone CD shopping at one of the local record stores and to the mall.  If I were to run into someone I know, I would just introduce her as my friend and leave it at that. I like her and so I am not embarrased to be with her.  In fact, I am proud to be with her.  If anyone else has a problem with it, it is their problem not mine.

It is only stupid if your wife doesn't know about it.

Dax,

Let me see if I have this right: You've supposedly dated TS women before but have a irrational fear of entering TS clubs, and you've somehow rationalized that the only way to overcome that fear is to have a transsexual such as TS Star escort you in ? Is that the gist of it ?

It's natural to fear an unknown, and thus experience trepidation and anguish over such a step, Dax, particularly one with societal stigmas and condemnations to it in tote (Don't I know it having just gone through it), but why do you want TS Star specifically if I may ask ? Why do you feel TS Star is more capable of helping you break down barriers than anyone else ? I dunno. I'm confused.

What is your fear rooted in, being outed ? Are you claustrophobic? In which case Star might not be able to help you, unless of course, she's a license therapist in that field.
One reason I was able to go out and dance (besides having a bad hip cooperate at the time) last Friday night was that I found that the girls there WERE the show, not what I or what any other man there was doing. Unless of course, Eddie Murphy decided to show up.It's about the girls iow, not ANYONE else. They trump any male in there. Got that ?!

If you're on the up and up, just come along the next time someone in here announces their intention to go some Monday or Friday night. I had been saying for more than a week that I was probably going to Peanuts prior to this past Friday, and two or three members here offered not only great advice and support through private messages, but one actually came along. Why didn't you seize the opportunity and come along then ? It was the perfect opportunity to tackle those fears with the needed support at hand ... TS Star is certainly more than capable of responding to this thread, and my guess is that she is even more capable of helping one work through their fears, but if I were Star I would be wary of such a request. Like I titled my request, I think something's amiss here.

Are you by chance in your early 20s, Dax ?

Hmmmm, maybe I'm just overreacting a bit, everyone ? Thoughts ?

Jeez.... give the guy a break.  

Star

I think you've misconstrued the tone and purpose of my post, Star, but hey, if you want to help Dax out with his issues, please go ahead and do as you'd please.

... Did I read his post wrong I wonder ? Anyone else see something amiss here, or has my vivid imagination gone asunder ?

Piqued

Piqued, I generally like your posts but, I gotta admit, I'm inclined to agree with Star.  There could be many many reasons - not all rational - that our friend is nervous about going into a club and why Star could help.  I'm with you in that, for me, going in with a TGirl would make my fears worse, but that's just me (us).  Maybe our friend doesn't like the concept of strolling into foreign territory alone.  Maybe going with a guy friend makes things worse (I remember being a little weirded out the first time I chatted with a dude in a tranny club).  Maybe he's an incomprehensible mental mutant.  In any case, give him a break!

Hey EOM means "End Of Message." Unless it is a reply there will be nothing in the message body. So don't try to read it. You shouldn't be reading this right now. Go back to forum....now.

-- Modified on 5/11/2004 10:45:03 PM

You read to much into a simple request. Not unlike going anywhere with someone fimiliar with the place and she has meet others there for drinks. Your response was a little weird.

For those who are wondering, no I am not 20 something. I am 40 something and a "fine specimine". I am a professional type who like the company of lovely TS's. I am just uncomfortable with going to a place I don't have a clue about. It would be just easier meeting someone their for introduction purposes.  I hate RUDE people and show everyone respect. Based on the other post I have read, I am uncertain if the girls are their to work or play.

wantats,

WHAT am I missing here ? Unless Dax just started posting and following the discussions in this forum from only this past Saturday, our situations are totally different.

Not only had I never been with a TS prior to Friday night, as he claims to have many times, but I didn't come out of the blue to request any assistance from anyone specifically to help me enter a TS club, and prior to our visit to Peanuts this past Friday, I not only posted questions, but shared all my reservations, fears, and apprehensions for everyone in here to see and comment on. He also blew a golden opportunity to perhaps conquer those fears -- with at least two others with the same concerns and issues mind you -- by coming along with us this past Friday once I had committed to go last Tuesday(?) in here.
So either he's brand spanking new to this board and plucked TS Star randomly and fortuitously based on her sobriquet, or he's been following all along and for some reason mysteriously blew a golden opportunity to possibly meet her on Friday knowing she might show up. Did he just not care for two neophytes hanging around with many of the the same concerns and issues, or is this something I just don't understand about the psyche of another novice's fears and how he personally goes about tackling them ?

I'm sorry I ever commented on it, but I thought his initial post was rather vague, and well, laden with red flags, but that's the cynic in me responding, and also, commentary is one reason this forum is for, right ? ..." It's opinion that makes the horse race" after all.

I apologize Dax if I offended you in any way, and whatever happens between you and Star is the business between you two, but if someone you didn't know and have never met came out of the woodwork ( The internet ?) and requested ONLY your assistance in a very abreviated and vague post to conquer a long standing fear, you wouldn't find that rather strange or at least question it ??? If you do have some prevailing fear about going into a TS club, I hope you conquer them soon, be it with TS Star's assistance, or through some other method.

Piqued

dax - while i've been fine going to bars and such places solo, I will say strolling into Edelweiss with the famous Nataly on my arm DID make me feel like the ultimate player.  Had they served Cristal there, I probably should've ordered it.

Just thought that both of you were overcoming fears...different but the same. You know I guess it was just perception. When I read the post I thought he was a horney guy that wanted to have a hot Star to help him break this cherry of going public. I know from straight bars that the easiest way to get attention is to be with someone hot. It took awhile for me to go out to dinner (in LA) with a tgurl friend. There was alot of apprehension for me the first time. It is different being in a secluded apartment as to visiting a bar known for transexuals and transvestites or gays.

wantats,

I know you were just being honest and no offense was taken, because I think some of you misinterpreted the tone and reason for my post.

I wasn't trying to cast stones at anyone else with noodle legs about attending a TS bar, as much as I questioned the timing of the request, given all the talk in here of late about attending a TS bar from myself and others for the last two weeks. Not just that, but also the specificity of requesting that TS Star be the one to hold his hand. The trophy angle never occurred to me until now that you've mentioned it, so maybe that might be playing a role in Dax's request. I dunno.

It looks as if Outlook might make it again this Friday, so ???