I know there is one guy here with an RV, which sounds pretty cool, but where are the rest of you meeting with your SBs for BCD time? I assume most people, particularly the married guys, are using hotels - how do you keep the bills discreet? Don't want wifey to see the credit card bill and see a bunch of charges from the local Marriott. I thought about using something like Trivago or similar site where the site name would appear on the bill rather than the hotel, but that doesn't provide a lot of protection if there are a bunch of charges.
... it's how to pay without leaving an electronic trail that your SO will see.
The short answer is you can't, unless you use a low-budget, hookerish motel that accepts cash.
But you can get a separate payment method in your name only and have the bills sent electronically to a burner email and any docs sent to an address that the SO won't see, like a PO Box.
I'm not an OpSec (Operational Security) expert. But that is what I see often from mongers and SD's who are.
Do a search on the General Discussion Board for "OpSec." Plenty of useful info there.
Life is good
The Cat
I do meet most of my dates in the RV. It has worked splendidly for me for about 10 years so far. But I also sometimes meet my SBs at my home. I am very happily married, in a wonderful, ENM/open/poly marriage. My wife is totally cool with my sugar dating. So even though I am free to do as I please without the need to hide my activities from her, I usually use the RV because my dates are an hour drive away, and they seem to like the RV. And I find hotel meets to be creepy. And expensive obviously. Over the years I've had several extraordinary arrangements with SBs who were happy to drive an hour to meet me at my home, instead of me driving. So those dates were at home, which is always a huge luxury for me. USDA Grade A pussy delivered right to my door! What could be better?
1) You book with your credit card, but settle the bill with cash. Nothing on CC.
2) Have your SB book the hotel. This can be done without any risk to her if using a day hotel booking site - no CC required in advance, and you can pay the SB for the hotel once on site. If you or she no-shows, then no loss to either party.
Only had 1 uncomfortable situation in probably 40 ladies.
Me too...the numbers are over a hundred, altho most were 5+ years ago when things were different.
Never a problem, and the risks are probably no more than a hotel wherein LE has to be called.
In my experience, for a M&F ("meet and fuck" LOL) about 3/4 of the SB won't do it, but obviously the ones who do leads to near 100% BCD....so trade offs.
I can never use my place, so the issue never arises for me.
However, over the years I have seen posts on various boards that it is very unwise to use your own home. For several reasons:
1) The SB can rob you of your valuables directly, and simply run.
2) She can bring along a "friend" to rob you, while threatening you.
3) She can case the joint, for a subsequent robbery, and
4) Knowing your address, she will know your real identity.
SD have reported points 1-3 happening on multiple occasions.
These are all valid points. I would never invite a new SB, i.e., a stranger, to my home. Otoh, I have invited several who were already long time, trusted lovers. And it's always worked great. There's something very special when you have excellent pussy delivered right to your door!
Actually, none of them are valid points.
It's probably more a matter of vetting them very carefully at first.
And, I only deal in a higher class of SB.
For example, most would slap my face if I offered a ppm [of course, I rarely do ppm if you see what I mean] delivered by cash in an envelope.
But, we all have an approach to this which seems to fit our style.
was not mean to demean a brother on here.
It's just I live on a 1/4 mile private drive to my house, three different AI camera systems track any car/person/animal along it.
My house entry and interior have AI facial recognition cameras. And yes, the ladies know.
And I never allow a lady to use her private car - mostly Ubers, or other services from her known address.
We like to drink wine, mucho vino, and other substances sometimes. No way in hell is she goin' get in an accident and they sue me for mucho millions. lol
It is rare for any formula to fit all. Congratulations on having a great situation for sugaring - no SO, private and a private, secure estate. I am familiar with one of Bill Gates' places, and even he has nothing like a quarter mile driveway (at that location). That said, I think what I posted earlier (the warning) is very relevant for the majority with more middle-of-the-road accommodations.
All very valid points, at least for me. Most of us can't take the chance of bringing a POT back to our own place but for those who can it does offer a lot of convenience and of course a savings in hotel cost. I always try to keep as much of my private life as private as possible. Too many horror stories of gals going off the rails. Also have had a few personal experiences as well, so no, am not going to take a chance some crazy SB is going to try to turn my life upside down.
I'm a big fan of Dayuse...but I live in a part of LA not far from downtown, West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, West LA, even Santa Monica. So any given day there are 25+ hotels offering Dayuse rates. Does your wife review the credit card bill? Does she pay the bills? My wife knows, supports and approves of my sugar relationships (among other things)...but if she didn't I don't think she would have noticed the charges.
If OpSec is paramount, you may have to limit your searches to SBs who can host.
when you request day-use of a hotel room, aren't you sort of screaming out 'I plan on having an illicit tryst with someone who is most likely a hooker"?
A long time ago I called up a hotel inquiring about such a rate, and the reception I got from reception was not very receptive.
Maybe things have changed over time.
Oh, you are behind the times!
There is an entire industry devoted to this. Dayuse and HotelsByDay and maybe another site. You book with them, not the hotel directly.
Of course you can have some cover comment if you want - water or electricity off at home, etc. but you don't have to say anything. It is just another hotel booking.
Dayuse was designed for corporate meetings actually. We can rent a room for a few hours, meet with clients. Get room service. I have actually used this for business when we need to meet somewhere neither of us have office space by.
Posted By: mrfisher
Re: Just wondering but...
when you request day-use of a hotel room, aren't you sort of screaming out 'I plan on having an illicit tryst with someone who is most likely a hooker"?
A long time ago I called up a hotel inquiring about such a rate, and the reception I got from reception was not very receptive.
Maybe things have changed over time.
Had a tryst with a new SB a couple weeks ago. We connected strongly during the M&G and I could tell that she was ready for BCD. I was actually surprised as her profile presents a very sweet, demure woman and her personality in person was exactly the same. 100% zero hooker vibes. But when someone is ready to go, they're ready to go.
I logged into the app, and found an available room a mere 7 minute drive from our M&G. We walked right up to the registration desk together...with no bags, and checked in. Of course the desk clerk knew what was up (I'm assuming) but I booked the room through the app and frankly, he didn't give a damn...and either did we!
Granted, this was downtown LA where anything and everything happens. If it was a bible belt community maybe I would show up with a briefcase and tell the SB to hang back.
But Dayuse is extremely mainstream...and I actually know people who use the app to either chill by a hotel pool (and have a room to shower off), or even to do work.
I think some of the apps actually have the "screaming hooker" room listed separately ...or they should!
As I just returned from a 7-week visit to Thailand and Indonesia, and I've also spent months in the Philippines, I can tell you what I found, especially in and around the established "adult entertainment" districts.
There is a thing called "short time" hotels in these areas. The offer simple rooms (bathroom, bed, AC) for about $5 to $15 for two to three hours. There is NO DOUBT what is happening in those rooms, especially since the same girl often shows up 4 or 5 times a day with different guys each time. These are the go-to locations if you don't want to waste time taking your bar girl or freelancer to your hotel room, or if you have room mates that aren't chill.
In the US there have always been so-called "no tell motels" in the seedier part of town. What apps like Dayuse does is push the big "reputable" brands to realize they were losing a shit-ton of revenue by being prudish. It's not like couples staying longer are never having wet, sloppy sex all over that room.
Now the no-tells have degraded to hooker rooms near the streetwalker strolls. Like Figueora and 65th St in Los Angeles. Google earth it in Google maps. Turn on Satellite view or street view...
Life is good
The Cat
100% true on the revenue "reputable" hotels were leaving on the table. I've used a 5-star hotel in DTLA (not the Ritz) for Dayuse activities. Charge is around $170, it's a nice hotel, and the only thing housekeeping has to do is change the sheets and towels after I leave. Takes a maid probably 5-10 minutes (at most) to turn over the room and she's probably paid $20/hour.
