For context,  I'm married and have a rotation.

Last night my #1 SB of over a year, informed me that she has a started a relationship and is "seeing" someone.   This new guy is married, but allegedly getting a divorce.  His family lives in another state and he and #1 SB work together and have known each other for 2 years.

How does this affect me?  Emotionally, it does not.  I understand the game and life in the Bowl.  However, it does effect my access to #1 SB's house.  About 90% of our BCD's occur at her place, but now that new boyfriend has dropped in on her unannounced a few times, she is afraid that we will get caught.  She would like to continue seeing me, but we can no longer have sex on her couch in the living room with the blinds partially open or in any other rooms of her house.  Obvious solution is to tell new boyfriend he is not allowed to come over without calling/texting.  #1 SB has done so, but he continues.  So it's hotels...for now.

Why am I sharing this?  No reason other than needing to vent to someone.

(So to speak)

 
I had this happen to me once from a gal I had been seeing for over a decade, so it was kind of disappointing to say the least, but I kept up a friendly, though platonic relationship with her, and it paid off.   The new boyfriend was sent packing within a year and I was back in the saddle again.  (So to speak.)

 
Remember that good things come to all that wait.

I will just go on record agreeing with fish, you can probably just outlast him. If she were THAT serious about this other guy she would give you the old heave ho, (of course this is still a possibility), but I do agree it does suck about having to move your BCD activities to a hotel room. The longer I am in the Sugar Bowl the less I like hotel rooms, and the more I appreciate the less transactional feeling I get from being either at my place or hers. Of course in your case, being married yourself, I assume that your place is totally out of the question. lol

 
Hopefully she won't get caught with you, or any other SD's she might be seeing, It sucks to lose an SB to a jealous boyfriend, but it does happen. I had it happen twice in a single week last year and I was getting hate mail and threats for a couple of months from their loser BF's, not that I paid them much mind, I am a VERY good shot and I live in Texas. lol  Ironically one of the two resurfaced a couple of weeks ago, very much single and eager to pick up where we left off. As a matter of fact I saw her just about 12 hours ago. So as Herb would say "Life is good"

3 weeks ago I had to tell her I was going to stop seeing her. Her boyfriend texted me about 2 months ago asking me what my relationship was to this girl. I said who is asking? He replied her now ex-boyfriend because of text he found on her phone. I let her know about and she said not to worry.

Three weeks ago just before I was on my way to see her I got some text from her asking if I like the way she kissed. I of course responded that I did, then she texted asking when the last time we had seen each other. I knew then that it wasn't her and said so. Still went and saw her but there was something off and I offered to leave. She insisted I stay so I did. Later that day I got a call from him asking questions told him to take it up with her.

Called her and told her I wasn't going to see her anymore. I don't care that she has a boyfriend. All she really had to do is protect her phone or delete our messages. Told her I wanted no involvement with her boyfriend. She said she understood. Haven't from her since. Too bad she was also my #1.

But first: GaGa, that's the second time you've stolen my tagline. :p Of course I'm flattered, but maybe I should trademark it to help fund my sugar budget. LOL  But you are correct; Life is good!

 
As to the new BF, I predict, as have Fish and GaGa that he won't last. He's already showing his lack of respect, insecurity, and general asshole-like nature by showing up unannounced, even after he's been told not to so do.  

 
She's going to either get tired of that type of behavior, as I believe it will only increase. Or she will take the "blue pill" and go all in with him out of some misguided aspect of her own insecurity, feeling she doesn't deserve a "nice guy" who respects and admires her (that would be you!).  

 
Either way, you can only observe, keep being there when she needs/wants you, and be prepared for her to either go or stay.  

 
Of course, you could also take a page from PaPa Sweet's playbook and start to sell the wife on the idea of buying an RV for vacations.  Then you can take the Rig out for a spin every few days to support your meet ups sans hotel bills...

 
Life IS Good!  

 
The Cat

and actually I think it's been more than twice that I have borrowed it.  

 
That said, I trademarked "Go Fuck Yourself!!!" years ago and I haven't collected a single penny in royalties in all these years. lol

 
Back to the topic at hand I believe that it's very possible that BOTH of your scenarios will happen, she will at first "take the blue pill" and drop everyone for this (also married) only to become very quickly disillusioned once she finds out he is NEVER leaving his wife for her. (honestly, how often does that really happen?) and then in a few weeks or months the OP will find her knocking on his door again, a little contrite of course, and hopefully eager to pick up where they left off, ASSUMING of course that he still has room in his rotation, because Life is..... lol

...then she informed me she'd found a boyfriend and would have to quit meeting.  Literally three days later she said she dumped the boyfriend and we could meet again.

Interesting.  She is falling for the I am getting divorced line.  I wonder how long that will take, it it happens at all.  

Also curious, now that it is not safe to meet at her place anymore and you have to get a room.
Have you renegotiated your gift to her since your cost has gone up or are you eating the extra money?

I would not foot the extra for the hassle of getting a room and whatever else that goes along with it.

As I was reading through this thread I was thinking this guy needs an RV, problem solved!  But as often happens, Herb, you beat me to it.  Actually the op's situation resonates greatly and very sadly with me this morning. I spent an hour on the phone last night with my #1 (and only) SB. Her BF found out about us and made such a big fuss about it, getting drunk, pushing her around, accusing her of betraying him (heck, she and I were dating for many months before she met him,) etc, etc. She feels like shit and was in tears the whole time, blaming herself for this asshole's attitude.  I told her it's not her fault, he needs to stop treating her like a possesion, etc.  But I don't know what the future holds for me and her. If it's over, it's over. But what a loss! She's the best I ever had.

Thanks everyone for the words of wisdom and reassurance.  Interesting that many of us have gone down this similar path.  I plan to continue seeing #1 SB under whatever conditions meets her needs.  No plans to re-negotiate her PPM fee as we have occasionally used hotels throughout our time together.

Like most of you have noted, I don't think her relationship with the new dude will last.  But also never intended to be with her "forever" either.  So will continue with the current roster, while always on the lookout for new talent, and keep the door open for #1 SB to return....or not!

Now you can have your cake and eat her, too!  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat