Okay I know this topic comes up frequently, but there never really seems to be an answer that clarifies anything and my question is more specific to me.

I am in my mid-20's, healthy, and as far as I can tell, everything works normally. I always have a dilemma in my dates. I have the problem of not being able to last very long because everything is so good, but I often finish too early, before I can get around to all the activities I want to engage in. To most young guys this isn't a problem, but when I cum, my sexual ability is pretty much out of commission for a couple of hours. More specifically, that means there is no second pop. Sometimes I can't even get going again. I want to, but I can't ever get a second cup.

So my question is, how should I prepare for my dates? Should I not cum (masturbate) for a few days or weeks before a date, or should I increase the amount of times I cum before a date (I had an ATF of mine tell me the remedy is to have more sex.)? Am I just doomed to this being my body's natural function or is there something I can do to train myself to either last longer and/or improve my recovery time? It is kind of frustrating because I never know if I should try to hold out and make it last longer or try to get one out early and try to recover and go for 2. I almost have to plan my dates to get everything I want to do in because I know I am limited in my performance.

Additionally I was wondering if it is normal for my mood to change after I cum to the point that I am just not nearly as interested in sex/intimacy after I cum. I have a feeling these 2 things are related and that perhaps my problem is mental. Most guys, from what I can tell, can cum and just keep right on going with their same sex-drive. I feel like sometimes my sex drive is almost killed after I cum. I wish it weren't that way, but I can't seem to help it.

I hope there are some good answers for me. Thanks LG.

I can teach you how to hold and last as long as you want.

Sometimes is mental, sometimes is not and you just need to practice some control techniques.

It works for many of my clients.

xoxoxo

Betty

Dear PrayingToTheLoveGoddess,

Aaah, the blessings of youth! "My sexual ability is pretty much out of commission for a couple of hours." Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! Dang! A couple of hours!!! Some of them grizzly bears on this here site can't come for DAYS afterwards...and you are worried about a few hours...egads.

But: If you have an issue with "finishing too early," my advice to you [specifically, since you asked] is to EXPERIMENT. Try masturbating about 5-6 hours [jeez, not days or weeks, that won't have any effect on your youthful body] before your date, and SEE WHAT HAPPENS. I can't swear that you'll last longer - yes, the body does have its own individual rhythm, but if you hang in there, you may catch up at around 40 or so. Seriously, though, if you want to "last longer," start practicing squeeze techniques, stopping-starting, TANTRA (East Indian sexual modality, very sensual and works great for some). It's good to start at an early age...except don't overdo it, or you could end up in the "I-can't-come-very-easily-anymore" camp, and then you'll be miserable for that.

Thing is, nothing at your age is cut and dry. That's why they call the twenties your experimental years. You're supposed to experiment. Perhaps that's not the answer you were looking for, but that's the way most men learn how to control their ejaculations - by fiddling around with stop-start-stop, squeeze techniques [putting a thumb right under the penishead and squeezing hard, while holding the penis with index and long fingers on the opposite side], pulling out, etc.

One great distractor is focusing on the female. Heck, go down there and munch a little. Most men de-focus on their orgasm that way. At your age, there's no risk of losing it completely. You can just revv and pull back without being in danger of erectile dysfunction [unless there's something physically pathogenic, of course.] Practice, practice, practice, eating her out, fingering her, telling her NOT to go crazy with the BJ, lest you should blow, SLOWING DOWN....all these things do help.

As to your disinterest in sex after the deed: that's completely normal. Some say it has its roots in evolutionary behavior - after you've impregnated the female, it's time to run away from either a)angry cave-husband whose wife you've sneakily tried to impregnate; or b) angry animal beast outside trying to rip you to shreds while you should be harpooning the poor critter.

Also, I don't know where you got this one from - maybe porno movies? I can guarantee that most guys do NOT "keep right on going with their same sex-drive" after orgasm and/or ejaculation. Most men's sex drive is "killed" after cumming. That's why you hear so many women complaining about snoring boyfriends/husbands, men who don't want to cuddle, men who just crash, men who are unromantic, etc. etc. etc. Many comedic moments in popular media reflect this behavior. IT'S NORMAL. Do not sweat it. Almost everyone is like you. If they say they're not, they're fibbing. Of course there are men who have been very well trained by their female companions to display affectionate behavior after intercourse - but up to a point. Most men just pass out, quite frankly. Or run back to the office if they're on "hooky hooker time."

Egads, could some OLDER, MORE MATURE gents on this here board give this young'un some helpful advice

the Love Goddess

I'm an older (as for mature, well ...) gent and here's my advice: read again LG's post, it can't be improved upon.

Take it easy on the young and inexperienced. Actually I very often use DATY as a way to last so I will stick with it. I am definitely experimenting and I totally understand that I am normal, I just wanted some confirmation as opposed to just assuming that these are normal things I worry about. I do appreciate my youthful abilities.

As far as where I did my learning, it was mainly here on TER where guys constantly talk about 2, 3, or more pops in an hour in their reviews. There is no shot of that for me. That was really my concern because when I cum I sometimes have no interest in even trying for more. But, I guess I am just normal. Fortunately I have all the wonderful and beautiful ladies of the hobby to experiment with. Thanks. I just needed to hear this from someone with good knowledge.

Reading and observing the diagrams on tantra website/books is one thing.  The one thing is it bring understanding and some insight plus some better know how.

The bottome line is the opportunity to have an appointment with a tantric practioner who engages in the tantra sexual as your partner.

I've found none in South Florida.  Those that might be tantric partners, one can only be tentative about them due to the ambiguity of the wording on their websites, postings, etc.

Will anyone please help by sharing names of ladies who are tantra sexual partners?

There's no beter learning than that which comes by DOING!