I am often called "pediphile", "sick bastard", "uncle Pervy", ect, because I am attracted only to women half my age... Am I a sick man??

I should qualify this a bit before you send the cops to my house...

When I was in grade-school, I lustfully looked at the Sr. Cheerleaders in the highschool yearbook and jerked off,,, ALOT! (lol!)

Also at that age, I'd read the Sears or Wards catalogs and look at the petite or teen-sections and jack off to panty & bra clad girls 5 to 10 years older than me... (and jerked-off alot, lol!)

When I was in Jr. High, I missed out on a lot of sexual oportunity because I was in love with the older girls that were so hot at the 17-19yo age of development... (but, I jerked off ALOT and settle for some less-than exciting sexual-expermentations with a few girls myown age)

When I was a Jr & Sr in Highschool and Freshmen in college, I was an unstoppable sexual-dynamo! I often "peeled-my-carrot" fucking repeatedly  or with multiple-partners who were in that 17 to 19yo age-range...(It was the 80's So condoms weren't so important at that time, and 10+ pops was often in range for me, however that has certainly subsided as I've aged physically, lol!)

As I've grown up (Just recently reached the age where girls "half my age" are 18-19yo!) I have ALWAYS continued to date or hire providers in the 18-21yo age group. I like the "freshness" of prospectives they live under, often not taking life seriously or not looking for a "life-partner" at that age, but just looking to explore and enjoy life! (In a way I've got Peter-pan syndrome as well, since these have remained my goals and intrests for now 20 years!)

I'm not sexually intrested in "children", "child-porn", or any such destruction of inocents-type behaviors that I consider to be the base-line for "petaphelia"...

I only like young ladies of legal age, who are unincumbered by life-goals or "biological-clocks" and likewise free of much of the emotional-baggage that develops when those two "needs" go un-met...

I like them on both the physical-level of how "fresh and youthful" their bodies look, AND on the emotional-level of where they are at in life...

Do you have an opinion on me??

-- Modified on 1/27/2007 8:49:38 AM

-- Modified on 1/27/2007 8:55:44 AM

I might get lambasted for this, but maybe that's just your thing, nothing horrible because it is legal age women you are interested in. I have always been drawn to men in their 40's, even when I was a teenager. No matter what age I become, men in their 40's turn me on. I am in my 40's now, and when I get into my 50's and 60's I will probably like guy's in their 40's, since this has held true all of my life. I will wait to see what LG has to say, I see it as a personal taste.

I too like girls half my age, so all you 29 year olds can drop me a PM if ya want.

Hiya Ben Dover , , ,

My "opinion" on you is this: Judging from your posting, you are seeking company entirely within your range of emotional maturity, and that hooking up with 18-21 year old girls is probably right where you ought to be. Don't worry, others are just jealous of your Peter Pan syndrome...those old farts!

My nickname is Kimona Wanalaya ;-D
the Love Goddess

A case study in delicate, delicious, delightful, and devastating irony for a disrespectful post!  The more I read of your writing, the more impressed I am with you.  You apparently can be as subtle as a velvet freight train when the occasion demands it.  Having taught at the junior college level for several years and briefly at the high school level, I find that your characterization is dead accurate.

To some degree, Ben strikes me as a sort of "coyote" figure who loves being an irreverant contrarian.  Like most coyote figures, he often leaves his messes in very inappropriate places --- but he can be serious on occasion.

Ben, if you read this, I would suggest that you drop your pose and ask the question you want her to answer rather than focusing on your exploits.  It was not at all clear to me WHAT you wanted her to "fix".  Perhaps if you can articulate that, she will be more responsive to  your inquiry.

-- Modified on 1/27/2007 9:03:08 PM

eom

"Ohwa tagoo siam"  

I would humbly contend that it is not so much a case of mutual emotional maturity levels but rather an honest submission to natures instinctive male hardwiring to seek nubile females in their fertile prime.
 Social engineering/stigma portends that seeking females half our age to copulate with is somehow indicative of a character flaw. Ben is merely following the natural instinct to procreate with the most fertile while incorporating all the birth control safeguards available.

I was actually NOT commenting about Ben's choice of ages for his hobbying.  I WAS responding to LG's response to what I viewed as a brash and disrespectful posting.  Apparently she felt the same way.  I believe she was commenting more about HIS maturity level than that of the women he prefers.

I have received more than one PM chiding me for wasting my time talking with Ben and certain others on the P&R board.  I don't view it as a waste of time.  I have long since learned that one can learn much from conversations with people with whom one disagrees, provided that it stays civil.  If nothing else, it forces ME to articulate things I know or believe in that I might not have necessarily been aware of.  I have also learned that you have to take people as you find them --- making value judgments about them gets in the way of meaningful communication with them.  I like Ben in my own way, although I would not have chosen him to moderate the P&R board.

Correct, Ameliorative Anus,
It's the tenor of his posting that I am appropriating..in jest. And of course, there is nothing wrong with it. Which is exactly what I am saying.

Hoping you saw the humor in the exchange,
the Love Goddess

I find simple, shallow pleasures playing at the level to which I've arrived, but I read other men's posts and cannot but question if I am missing some component of deeper and more meaningful life??

I was hoping for a "fix" that would allow me to venture into the deep with the astute,sensitive and refined gentlemen on the P&R board which find a hightened level of gratification among a range of providers to which I can only see as "average" even "sub-par" in many cases...

I figure it must be a problem "within myself" that prevents me from grasping why so many men-my-elder who chose to marry, then spend so much time and money in persuit of the affirmation of provider-ladies who do not seem to out-measure his spousal-achievement??

Wouldn't it stand to reason that if these men re-directed the hours of time that they hang out in the chat-rooms or on the messageboards onto their own spouse in the form of "playful banter" that they would reap the fulfillment of true sexual "intercourse"[on multi-levels] that they seek to replace by hiring out for faux-relations on the emotional level?

Or if they spent the fee on gifts or special "treats" to show their spouse they treasure their companionship, wouldn't that help to bring the deepened level of "romance" that these men often seem with in their hobby-experences?? (The endless persuit of the elusive "GFE" comes to mind...)

Some men go so far as to seek out gifts for their providers, and put much thought and preperation into learning their provider's preferences and taking special care to make sure everything is "just right" for their rendeverus prior to the lady's arrival...

I'm so "un-refined" that I've always figured that's what the envelope on the dresser was for,,, silly me!

I admit that I'm somewhat "shallow" in my persuits of hired-sexual folly, but I've been "stuck" in simply looking to enjoy girls on a sexual-level that possess an "outer-beauty" that I cannot attract to bed without some amount financial-compensation for their time.

(I'm completely aware that I am not going to attract girls of the physical-appeal I crave as an over-sexed, below-average-looking, poor-performing, under-endowed man... I'm a "realist" in this and see my hobbying for what it is; "pay-to-play" at a level I couldn't otherwise achieve...)

So Doctor, what about my "fix"? How can I master the level of maturity and wisdom of my assended-peers and learn to get great satisfaction out of paying average looking providers to replace the relational, emotional, and even spirtual connections  normally reserved for a committed relationship?

It seems that I must be the "broken" man in the room since I just want to hire cute young ladies to satisfy on an un-attached  physical-level and sow my relational energy into other things... These men keep telling me how I am missing out and don't get the deeper things they enjoy about hobbying...
Perhaps you can help me "assend"??

It is not easy to be as open and honest as you have been in this posting; I feel I have gotten to know you much better --- and I really like the man I see.

For many years I struggled with many of the issues you describe --- I felt oversexed, below average looking, poor performing, under-endowed.  These are feelings I still struggle with today, in spite of the fact that I have deep relationships with a number of women, including one that I want to move to marriage.

The difference for me was in focusing not on myself but on the woman as a person.  It amazed me to discover how many lonely women there are out there who are all too accustomed to men looking at them primarly as fucking machines.  My cousing was a ravishingly beautiful girl in her youth, but deliberately let herself get fat to avoid having to deal with men who couldn't see past her surface looks.  You might also be surprised to find out that many "topless dancers" also respond to being treated as interesting human beings rather than simply sex organs on legs.  I have had a number of beautiful sexual episodes with such women --- and, believe me, I am nowheres near a porno star in terms of either endowment or ability to go for long periods of fucking.

One question: how often do you repeat with the same provider?  If you can find an ATF, and you can build a friendship with her, it might give you a chance to get to know her on a deeper level, and talk through some of the (probably unrealistic) fears you have about yourself.

In any case, Ben, good luck to you.  You've made an impressive start.

You are welcome, Ben Dover,

If you truly wish to "fix" yourself, there is no one else but you who can change your patterns and habits. I am not a "Doctor," and even if I were, it would be erroneous of me to pretend or postulate that I could "fix" another human being.

I can only give advice; my advice to you, as a mental health professional, would be to stop focusing - at least that is what your posting does - on other men, and start reflecting exclusively on your own patterns, behaviors and the consequences thereof.

Since you have alluded to some "shallow pursuits" in your posting, you may do well by examining your belief system and your perception of the meaning of life, independent of sexual gratification. This examination would involve taking a long and in-depth look at yourself and asking yourself some very serious questions, none of which would touch the issues raised in your posting.

Asking yourself why other men do what they do is fine if you want to engage in rudimentary polemics or opinion-making, but it has very little to do with your in-depth character as a human being.

I doubt very much that you will find the answers to your questions in hobbying. I have no idea who these men are of whom you speak. To divine a human being's true character from exclusively sexual pursuits and the narrating thereof is impossible. But clearly, something these men state in their postings must hit a nerve, because I detect some heavy sarcasm and perhaps also a level of heightened defensive emotion in your posting.

Instead of asking about "the level of maturity of my ascended [sp.] peers," please begin to analyze your own, independent of the men you meet on these discussion boards. If anything, what has made these men mature and wise is clearly not the hobby - it is everything that has occurred during a cumulative period in their daily lives. If such men are able to find something beyond pure sexual gratification in their hobbying, more power to them. For you to become so emotionally involved and reactive in terms of these boards might be a waste of energy if you really want to grow and mature as a human being. As to finding "spiritual connections," please start by connecting with your own insight, reflection and authentic feelings away from the hobby and away from these boards altogether.

Hope you enjoy your journey,
the Love Goddess

I have been acutely focused on "self" for a VERY long time... And have found great comort and security at the shallow-end of the pool. However, I can't help but take note of these behaviors among my peers... (I blame it on my inner-anthropologist, lol!)

Yes, I must agree with you, more power to them! I guess I occationally get confused when they look down on me and my methods and chide me for my shallow misanthropic views...

I'll take your advice, and while remaining "myself", I'll place more emphasis in neutrally observing these men to learn their "deeper ways" before rushing to judgment and voicing my un-unsolicited, non-binding edicts...

Perhaps you have "fixed" me Love Doctress! I feel better about myself now since our talk...   ;>

(I find myself strangely attracted to you, but your intellect and prowess intimidate me! Few can grasp my weaving of the serious and sarcastic, but you've pin-pointed me on both from my very first post on this board! Amazed and humbled, as I continue to digress...)

... I sort of carved my own niche by producing several short, repeat performances - often linked back-to-back, lol!

I'm a strange guy [really! LOL!] And the folks of Minnesota board took some time to warm up to me, but now I share in a great deal of on-line comradery among my promiscuous neighbors... It took some time to "prove" that I wasn't out to change anyone, or control anyone's behavior, I only wanted to express and refine my views and myself [reguardless of how absurd!] in an anonymous forum in which I didn't have to live or work among these people as they cast their dispersions upon me in my "real life"... I've found this same level of "tool-sharpening" on the P&R board, but I seem to be a bit too tempered for many in that room to exchange abrading gains with, lol!

(Thanks for stepping out of that room with me for a virtual-drink, perhaps this "understanding" on both our parts will bring more limpidity to our future conversations?)

(Side note -- Even though I can stylistically write in many forms, having had both the education and practiced-skill to conversantly acclimatize to dialoges among the oligarchian-academian elitists, even though I often appear somewhat bourgeoisie. Since, as with water, it's my nature to seek my own level, lol!)

On a daily basis, I prefer to free-flow communicate at an easy confabulated-level of speak... It take some of the stale air out of the room when we stop fanning our degrees in eachother's faces, don't you think?

(Sometimes it just "feels good" to toss the F-bomb at someone, rather than stand idly by as folks sniff their own farts as they laboriously detail the bouquet...)   ;>


-- Modified on 1/29/2007 12:15:08 PM

Ben,

Your problem isn't that you are attracted to ladies in their late teens, your problem is that you consistently project an attitude that women who have gracefully entered into their 30's and beyond should be ashamed of ourselves for actually daring to provide - and expect money for - what you so earnestly seek out in younger ladies. I can't count how many posts I've read from you in which a woman is trashed for her looks, for any obvious signs of aging or signs that gravity has begun to win the battle.

I'm really not terribly curious about your preference for younger women, it is a preference that many gentlemen share with you, and there is nothing unusual or wrong with that. I am curious though, why you apply your admitted "Peter Pan" syndrome to women in the physical sense? It seems from many of your posts that a woman is somehow wrong for failing to stop the aging process so that she is forever a girl of 20 for you to slobber over, and that furthermore, since she failed to remain a youthful lass of 20-something, she is guilty of the far worse sin of not quietly taking herself off to exile so that you are not distracted in your pursuit of nubile flesh.

You can rest easy though, you need to attempt to respond. Curious I am yes, but having seen one too many posts from you in which you have laid bare your misogyny, I don't have any great expectation that any response you might make will have anything in the way of honest self reflection, or an attempt to recognize or apologize for you attitude.