LG and threadvets, can you provide any insight on the following?  A few months ago I met a marvelous provider who I see regularly.  We get along very well even when the fires are banked, and I have no real interest in seeing anyone else.  Some years ago, I had radiation and seeds for prostate cancer.  I luckily survived, but I can't summon my ability to perform fully even with viagra.  Alternatives to FS are satisfying, but not fully.  Problem is, I sometimes feel embarrassed and also want to satisfy my partner fully, but can't seem to get there.  This of course sets up a an ED counter-reaction, and sometimes I lose it.  
A few days ago, our of sheer frustration, I went to an AMP, was assigned to a total stranger and she took care of me with a couple of light hugs and by hand very skillfully seemingly within seconds.  I was amazed (and also somewhat dismayed -- too fast!) by the ease and speed of it all, but it was also the most fully erect experience I had had in many months.  On the latter, it was almost like pre-cancer days.  
What's going on here? Since I'm still alive and well, I don't want to appear ungrateful, but I'd really like to improve my performance regularly, especially with the provider I mentioned above, whose skills are marvelous and in addition she is a fine person.  I'd like to continue the relationship as long as we both enjoy it, but that depends on me doing my part, I feel.

i had my prostate out 8 years ago, and I have the same basic problem    But I approach it differently.   I don't try to make the providers cum (at least in most cases)--my attitude is that it is all for me.  My big problem is with my wife, because I do want to satisfy her.    That is difficult,  especially since she can hardly compare to the sexy providers half her age--but I manage enough to keep her interested.

I am afraid you are going to have to accept that you will never be the same, and enjoy life to the fullest within your limits.   I think you are doing that, except you are letting your unrealistic expectations get the better of you.

Well Barnaby34,
Sometimes it's nice not to have any expectations and just feel a little...selfish? With this, I mean that you went to the AMP in sheer frustration, not expecting anything [or anyone] in particular. And look what happened!

Prostate removal or not, the big head always rules the small one. The emphasis on "improving performance," "satisfying my partner fully," etc., sets up pressure and demands that sometimes block our actions in the darndest way.

The provider in question is "a fine person." Well, that sure adds to the pressure to make her happy, doesn't it? In contrast, you had no emotional connection whatsoever to the AMP lady, and were therefore able to focus solely on your own pleasure.

As to any future action with your ATF...please remember that even though you love to satisfy her and make her happy, to her, it's a JOB and a SERVICE. Therefore, she will most likely be just as pleased if you stop thinking of her, and start thinking of yourself. Heck, you could even do a little "phantasy game" inspired by your recent AMP encounter. Instead of going the full enchilada, just have your ATF show off her manual/oral skills. See if it will work the same way again. Of course, with the procedure you've had, nothing is guaranteed. The most important thing is not to pressure yourself into a performance of any kind. And maybe, maybe try it with another lady...all in the name of research of course

Enjoy it all,
the Love Goddess

Thanks very much LG and VU -- encouraging.  I think you're right, but since I also get great pleasure if my partner is satisfied, I am condemned to keep trying and hoping for the best.  I also know from reviews that she's highly skilled and popular and shows her appreciation when she has a great session.  I'm too realistic to be jealous but it does burn just a bit!

Barnaby and LG,

I'm a year past having my prostate out.  Things are slowly coming back.  I have a suggestion and two questions.

First.  My Doc rxed tri-mix injections.  Often, not always, that produces a "diamond cutter" for about an hour.  Fun and games for all.  I find my orgasms harder to produce but incredably strong.  Better than EVER!!! (With or w/o chemical help  -- I can, with help, get the softy off.

Questions:
1) Any experience with 80mg doses of Vitamin Blue rather than the 40 usually used??

2) The age old one (don't send me to that web site again) are BBBJs relatively safe??  I recall a post a few months ago where a guy said he had had hundreds with providers with no problems.  Seems remarkable to me.  Same with DATY.  Any comments please.

Bloggs

Hiya Bloggs,

Thank you for your suggestion, although I always recommend individuals to check with their physician first for a truly personalized treatment.

As to your second question: What is "relatively safe" is in the brain of the beholder. Someone could be the lucky recipient of hundreds of BBBJs and never contract anything. Another person could get a nasty STD. To wit:

Getting herpes is one of the biggest STD risks during oral sex, but the bacteria that causes gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis infections can live in the mouth and get passed from the mouth or throat to the penis as well, putting both the partner performing and the partner receiving oral sex at risk.

Men are more susceptible to getting an infection when receiving oral sex than women because the penis can hit the back of the throat. It is very possible for a healthy, STD-free penis to become infected after receiving oral sex from someone who has the bacteria in their mouth.

So there. Use the information provided at your own risk. Of course, if you and your partner know that neither one of you is infected, then go at it.

The web site is good
the Love Goddess




-- Modified on 11/20/2006 5:41:50 PM

Bloggs:  Never tried 80 mg of Vitamin Blue.  I'll ask my doc next time I see him, but so far he hasn't been much help on remedial options, although he helped save my life when I had the big "C."

Love Goddess, as usual, provides some clarity: giving an ATF, or any other provider for that matter, pleasure and "orgasms" is a head game, we guys want to prove what great lovers we are and how we can satisfy women, etc. etc.  The reality is, as LG points our, that to the lady it's a job, no matter how friendly she may seem.  Enjoy it, let her do her job, and see where it takes you.  She may be your ATF, but are you hers?  Relax.

Well Aless, your question about my ATF, i.e. "are you her ATF?" is short and absolutely on point.  A few of us occasionally find out, but most of us will never have a clue, so it doesn't make much sense pondering these things, I agree.  But it's sort of fun, isn't it?  It sure beats going to staff meetings.