A few of the girls I've been seeing all fucked up their finances.  Mostly self inflicted by overspending, taking trips, or just not working.  Now they are wanting to see me more and more.  Fun for me, but at some point I have to look at my budget and say no.  Or pick and choose who.  

The 4 girl weekends are amazing but I can only afford so many of them.  This is the downside of a rotation.  They don't want to think of you banging other girls, they are your #1.  In their mind at least.  

So, I have 3 that want a lunchtime date this week.  I can only afford/make time for 1.  One doesn't drive, so she's out.  She's not in a convenient place for me to get to.  The other two will drive to me for dates.  I haven't seen one in over a month, she was on a vacation with her mom.  It was apparently a disaster.  Now she's behind on her car payment.  So, she needs to get laid, vent and paid.  The other had hours cut at work and is struggling.  So, the 1-2 dates a month for party money has become a lifeline.  Both are smoking hot.

This is def one of the issues we all face in the bowl.  When the SBs are in desperate need for $, they can really put you on the spot!  I try real hard to avoid getting involved with girls who have fucked up their finances that badly, but sometimes it happens anyway, either cuz they make bad decisions after we began dating or just cuz, um, you know, they're smokin hot!  I'm fortunate rn in that all the girls I'm dating seem to have their financial shit together and are sugar dating for the fun of it more than for the income.  That's my sweet spot!  

That'd be an easy choice...Take the option that is less of a rush, more of a freak, and has the best attitude....even if it's the girl without a car. Assuming they are all the same PPM... I find myself in a similar situation occasionally when going for test drives...

This could be classified as one of the "good problems to have."  But it's still a problem.  

 
Your task is not unlike the business world concept of "managing up" when you report to a boss who is a mess, and you need to find a way to make them successful, so they don't derail your career.  

 
Of course, you need to start by knowing your time and cash budget.  Her (their) problems do not equal your emergency, and your budget is in place to make sure YOU do not have financial problems of your own.  

 
Next, this is where the "goldfish memory" comes into play. Your SB's have already forgotten how much allowance you have previously provided. As soon as the cash hits their palm, it simply vanished into a purse as a faded memory, and they are immediately looking to see more cash appear.    

 
And you are correct. No matter how many SD's they are seeing, and even if you have been clear that you see other SB's, she sees (all) your money as her money that she collects over time.  (Is that a little bit like being married to a gold digger?)  

 
That brings up a thought: Do you know which of the three have other SD's? Maybe you give lower priority to those with an alternate source of Sugar?  That might risk them switching their future priority to that other SD, but that is already a risk...  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

I work in finance and so I've spent 25+ years building the skills to manage and grow wealth and it astounds me how terrible some SBs can be with money. I mean, not due to a lack of education (which is a given) but also a complete lack of common sense.  

But then again, that's a big reason they're in the bowl.  

My favorite SB story: she came into a surprise $2,500 (taxable, and was issued a 1099) and instead of putting it in a Roth IRA (as I urged her to do) she simply went out and bought a pair of Louboutin boots. Sure she looked hot wearing them but the cycle of cash flowing through her fingers like water continued....

I suspect one for sure has at least one other SD.  She's made it clear she doesn't care if I see other women as long as I'm getting tested.  She is pure BCD.  The other 2 might.  I'm pretty sure the one without a car does not.  She has asked to become exclusive where I pay her rent and can see her weekly.  

The third one might.....  She's active on SA still.  I've told her I would consider moving her to a monthly allowance where I pay her rent for weekly dates but she doesn't want to make a commitment.  She might rethink it now though.

I mean, brother, there is no way you will ever, ever solve their financial ineptitude.

 
Best you can do is move them along until the next disaster.

 
You are beyond fortunate you have so many hot girls to fuck and make happy with some financial help.

 
Of course if they could manage the financial portion of their life so perfectly,  how many would be contacting you bc your dick is so huge and you know how to use it?   I mean seriously.

 
I think you are in an enviable position and should just love the fact that  you are.

40+ years in FinTech for me.  

 
So those boots probably cost her closer to $3000 when she found out she needed to pay income tax on the full $2500.  

 
If I could only teach one finance lesson to SB's like this, it would be the difference between gross and net income.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Of course that's hard. But you can ask questions.  Look at their job, living situation, car (though a late model can meen run u less parents bought it. Thats a whole different problem. On my profile it says Im here to help my SB , not save them. If they have no job and it seems by choice. Adios. Ok. Maybe bang her once if she's hot. Lol

After many years and many, many girls who are astonishingly inept with finances, there is only one who knew what she needed (education) and asked me for it.  

She was a super hot Asian flight attendant (naturalized as an adult). We were very tight for more than a year and I still miss her dearly. But her job gave her the chance to invest in a retirement plan and she asked me to walk her through the whole thing, which I did and enjoyed doing so. She took all of my advice and I had her investing an aggressive percentage in risk-appropriate vehicles. She took it all to heart.  

The closest any other one came to that was probably the funnest SB I ever had, an Indian cutie, who asked if she should borrow money to pay off a debt. I walked her through my best advice as carefully as I could and she just never quite grasped it or could commit to it.  

The main difference between the two was their tolerance for deferred gratification. One had it; the other did not.

You guys have totally fucked their brains out!

Ive seen this one lady for over 3 years. She had her cosmetology license in Maryland before she moved here.  She kept putting off her getting her license here. About 6 months ago I told her I want progress every week or no help. I told her....do something everyday to go in  good direction or no help. It's actually working.

There are SBs who have their act together, but unfortunately they are rare, and have become much rarer. They used to be the bedrock of SA, the students at good universities, who were just out for a good time plus some money on the side. My own best SB was an Asian grad student, with economics as a component. She absolutely knew what she was doing and where she was going. No financial or any other drama at all. But that was years ago

This thread is very on point for me this morning since a new POT has just postponed with me for the second time.  Why?  Cuz she couldn't make rent at the hotel she and her kid were staying at and she has to be out in the morning and doesn't know where she's going to stay.  Total financial disaster, and I think I'm gonna pass!  As has been said here earlier, I'm happy to help a SB but I sure can't save her.

Otoh, a few of my regulars really did have their shit together regarding their education, careers, and money.  One of my current regulars is a girl I started dating back in 2021.  She's 1 semester away from graduating at the top of her class with an RN and getting a good paying job.  Meantime she's working the system hard to get every benefit and scholarship, plus living frugally and fucking my brains out every 2 weeks.  She's got a great future.  Another girl had a great career as an ultrasound tech, traveling to jobs in different cities and making big bucks.  I miss her!  

This is a dreadful situation. Haven't faced one quite this dire, but I am curious, how do you beg off when she tries to schedule another time?

How do you know she isn't scamming you?  Has she asked for money yet?  What was her kid going to do while you were banging her?  If she has someone to watch the kid she has somewhere to stay.

The basic idea of arrangements is to make our cock hard, not our life.

As Papa Sweet has pointed out in the past, there is a sweet spot in an SB's financial status that seems correlate to a better relationship; no (or less) drama, no (or fewer) unexpected emergencies, better emotional and physical connection, and overall high level of mutual satisfaction.  

 
That sweet spot appears with SB's who have enough income AND financial discipline to pay rent, car notes and insurance, phone bills and cover regular expenses like food, clothes and household goods. In other words, they are not dependent on one or more SD's to cover their monthly nut (No, not THAT nut. The expense nut. .  

 
If she is not able to cover basic expenses without you, that is fertile ground for drama and emergencies.  Sadly, those SB's below that sweet spot are rarely willing to accept guidance, advice or training from those with much more experience in financial management skills (i.e.: the SD). They allow themselves to see the immediate cash grab from Sugar as the only, and easiest, solution. This just reinforces their problem, as no arrangement lasts forever.  

 
This does not mean you can't or should not have an arrangement with these SB's. As long as you can deal with her self-inflicted crises, the sex and companionship can be amazing. But don't expect to see these last very long, as she will eventually find a bigger wallet (or multiple wallets), or she will bail thinking you are too cheap, or you will eventually decide the juice ain't worth the squeeze.  

 
Sadly, despite profile info, M&G's, and arrangement negotiations, you usually can't really tell where she falls on the financial competence spectrum before committing to an arrangement.  

 
My "Sweet Spot" Viet Spinner SB was with me from age 19 to 23, and she completed a BA degree in that time, found gainful entry-level employment and even helped her mother buy a condo as a co-owner.   I was sad to see her go but ultimately had to end it when she emotionally checked out and started taking my feelings and support for granted. One of the things you really don't want to see while balls deep in BCD is her yawning. Even worse when she yawns then grabs her phone. Just saying it's a boner killer.  

 
Silver lining: I freed up a high-allowance and incidental costs budget which now covers 2 new SB's.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Hobbyist and NN, yes she has asked me for $!  I said no, saying I can't and won't ever send $ via payment apps.  Only cash, only in person.  I told her I'd explain more when we meet and she accepted that.  As for how to beg off when she asks for another date, I can honestly say I'm too busy rn, my window of opp has closed.  Of course, the reason I'm too busy is I have so many luscious dates scheduled with my reliable long term SBs, but she doesn't need to know that!

I look at it this way. If the negatives outweigh the short term positives, it's time to cut the cord.  That's especially hard when the pussy is way above my pay grade. But all good things must come to an end.

Met yesterday with the one I had not seen in a month.  She came out to me.  She was a little late but we had 4 hours so no big deal right?  Soon as she gets there, over an hour drive for her, she says she has to leave in a little over an hour for a family thing.  Totally didn't know beforehand I'm sure......

Anyway, I tell her that's not enough time.  She gives me an attitude and asks me to do this for her one time.  I said fine, but I was clear this was not fair to me to not tell me in advance.  

So, we catch up a bit and time is running out.  I'm wanting two rounds of sex usually and clearly barely had time for one.  The sex was good, she's smoking hot and doesn't complain one bit.  She even asks how my other SBs are doing.  As long as I have current tests she clearly doesn't care what I do.  According to her, she has no time for more guys, her SA account got banned and her SDM account is gone now too.

I told her as she left, next time I'm expecting it to be 4 hours with at least two rounds of sex.  She kissed me and said anytime.  She texted me her schedule for the next two weeks to plan it.

My thought, she took advantage of the moment to get out of a quick financial jam.  She realizes if she wants to keep me happy she can't pull shit like that again.  Or, I'll never hear from her again and she will have gotten the cash one more time and is out.

You were nice. Specific about your expectations, but nice.   Treating this as a "teachable moment" rather than a violation SHOULD improve her behavior going forward. As long as she does not mistake nice for weak.  

 
If you see a similar issue warming up in the future, you know what to do; call it out immediately and cancel the next date. That will make her punishment financially painful and will probably motivate her to step or step out.  Either way, she will respect you, and you either get what you want or you are clear to move on to the next.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat