Ugh. Go to for several years.  Always open to 3 (various)… wondering if something happened to her.

Thought about PI.  She is in a custody battle, so maybe blocked me for that.

Bummed, and not sure I care for this without her🥲

Short of calling, anyway from anything besides iMessage to tell what’s up?  WhatsApp doesn’t have double ticks.

But that doesn't mean it's always going to be easy.  

 
Four years is a good run.  You must have a huge stockpile of amazing memories. Fortunately, those don't leave you when she needs to move on.  

 
Take your time to deal with your grief.  

 
Life will still be good

 
The Cat

2 months ago I ended one that was almost four years.  There were lots of problems and I got fed up with her behavior.  I know the pain.

hey Buckster I feel your pain. I get attached to some of my SB's for much shorter periods than that and it hurts when they ghost. Often they ghost for reasons having nothing to do with us. Four years is a very long run for an SR. It's gotta be tough.  

 

We all know these SR's always end but as Herbcat says it doesn't make it any easier. At the very least, we all know this in the back of our minds that we should enjoy what these ladies bring us for the moment while it's there.  

 
This is actually a good lesson for all of life, for no man is promised tomorrow. All things must pass. Enjoy the ride, let it go when it's gone. It's natural to feel attachment. Once you've healed, get back out there and start making great memories with a new one.  

 
The old one can't be replaced, but another can certainly help create unique experiences in the here and now. Know you have an empathetic and compassionate group here you can always rely on for support.

Been seeing this lady for over 3 years. It's like a fucking roller coaster  with her.  I should have stopped seeing g her awhile ago but she's one of the hottest chicks I've ever banged. I saw a video on YouTube about avoident personalities and this fit her exactly.

Been seeing her for 7-1/2 years and she recently told me we weren't going to be able to see each other as she has been in a relationship with a guy who has proposed and given her a ring...I can't say I am 100% distraught over it, but it is gonna sting a little more when the JOP pronounces them husband and wife (yes I'll be invited to the wedding). But I'll have the fondest memories of watching her swallow me until she had to come up for air, and that beautiful ass in front of me and me balls deep in it...She is as profesional as they come in public when we are out and as nasty as any porno when we are together...He can have the legal issues, father passing away, customer stalking her trouble. I'll hit it right up until the day before the wedding and be happy for her...he's loaded and freely spends it on her. Meanwhile I've been holding interviews and auditions for the replacement...Seeking is not the gold mine it was when I met her and pussy inflation is a real thing...1 thing remains the same though, the math is still wrong...58 can go into 21, 31, 41 as much as the wallet allows.

Sugar dating is a funny thing. Neither fish nor fowl.
On the one hand it is transactional, yet at the same time any long term arrangement obviously involves some connection, some amount of mutual feelings.  

So when a long term arrangement ends, it involves some of the same feelings as the end of any romantic relationship.  

But there is an added factor, arrangements tend to end with one or other party simply "ghosting". Personally, I find that difficult. I had a great 3-year arrangement, no issues. But at the end, my "friend" simply ghosted. I understand why she wanted to end the arrangement - she had found a new real-life, serious boyfriend. But why did she have to ghost - she could have simply said goodbye on good terms?

The Beatles had the answer about women's behavior when it ends. - Go listen to "No Reply" and "For No One"

I think they ghost because they are afraid.  Afraid you're going to be angry, or that you're going to beg them to stay, etc, and they want to avoid a messy scene.  That's one reason I try to discus the topic of ghosting at some point early in every arrangement.  I want her to know it's ok to say it's over and that I will thank her for all the good times we've had and wish her well.  Knowing that, I've not had any more ghosts!.

I have a 6 foot tall Brazilian.  She's actually white. She texts me out of the blue saying she's horny (month end is here).  She hadn't contacted me in over a week. She comes over and we have a great time. After she leaves, I look at my phone and my Malaysian roller coaster ride texted. Haven't heard from her in 2 weeks. She's coming over today for some back door fun. I also had a message from a new lady that my buddy fucked and SHE want to meet.  And I was planning to go with AMPS this week. My feeling is that rent is due for these ladies. Im 67. These ladies are 27,30 and 26.

Couldn't disagree more.  I think men ghost for the very reason you note.  When a woman is done with you she wants nothing more to do with you.  Like you don't even exist.  You are not even worth a messy scene.

You and Newt both have valid perspectives.   I don't believe there is a single trigger that leads SB's (or SD's) to ghost.  

 
I have been "ghosted" in the past of course. Sometimes I found out why later, often I do not. But from what I've seen or been eventually told, the "reasons" can be varied:  
1. Fear of a violent or overly dramatic reaction. This one worries me the most. What must have happened to her (or someone she was close to) in the past to carry an overriding fear that a guy - any guy - will likely become violent when bad news arrives?  
2. Convenience or expediency may be at work. She doesn't want to bother with messages, explanations, or back & forth messages (counter offers?) as she either has a much better deal or she just wasn't that into you in the first place.  
3. Scammers who moved on: These can be POT's you've never met but have messaged, or SB's who started an arrangement, then executed some type of scam, and ghosted.  
4. Rare: She agreed to stop all comms with past relationships for a new "serious" relationship.  This is what happened to me with my east-coast Porn Star SB. We had been seeing each other for 3 years every 2 months when she was in LA for work. One day all comms stopped. No replies on text, social media DM's, even email.  About 2 months later she announced her retirement from porn. And one month after that she posted on her personal IG her engagement and a new job as a schoolteacher.  It took another 4 months before she sent me a text that her Hubs had asked her to cut off everyone from her past life and she was honoring that request. I bid her farewell and haven't heard from her since. All of her industry social media accounts are gone and as far as I can tell, she has made no new scenes.  
5. Very rare: She got into legal trouble.  I have 2 past SB's who got snared by this. Both were arrested outside the US and I don't have any additional info on their status.  

 
My sense is that the majority fall into #1 and #2, equally split, with #3 coming in next.  

 
As for SD's who ghost, well I've never done that.  But I have "guided" some arrangements into meeting less frequently if she's not been performing or behaving well.  And I have ended arrangements for a variety of reasons.    

 
Bottom line:  Ghosting sucks. But often it's beyond our ability to control or even influence.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

The best antidote to a relationship gone bad is to start banging a new woman!  Get back in the game ASAP!

Maybe in some cases, but not in the particular case I am thinking of. When I said we had a 3 year arrangement, that was not inclusive of a one year gap. My friend graduated college after we were dating for two years, and went elsewhere to work. She told me of her graduation and that she would be leaving. I gave her a graduation present, and we kissed goodby (and more) - all straightforward, no drama. After a year away, she returned and we hooked up again for another year. It is at that point that she ghosted. It can't be because she was afraid - we had already split previously on very friendly terms.

I don't know Newt, haven't you ever had a SB disappear and then reappear months or years later?  I had date #3 today with a wonderful girl who ended our long term arrangement 2 years ago. She was one of my best regulars years ago and was very polite about telling me she wanted to stop, had too much going on in her life.  So yeah, she was done with me at that time. But now she's in a better place in her life and wants me in it with her again!  Gotta love it.

So I caved and called her.  Hung up after two rings (as not blocked).  She texted back and said her phone is broken, and using an old phone while hers gets fixed.  She also gave me an email for backup.

Still odd, as still in ghost mode after that one message.  Something is up, but is what it is I guess.   A few others still around, but she was the best bi threesome partner🥹